The Chemicals Keeping Us Together
by Freekiellie
Summary: [SEQUEL to my other story, How the Mighty Fall (in Love)] LEVIxOC. He could remember her: loving her; hating her; losing her. He couldn't be dreaming this up, could he? They had lived and died in another world, and now he had met her again. Now they'll have to spend their present searching for their past, unravelling the chemicals keeping them together.
1. The First Gloria

**CHEMICALS KEEPING US TOGETHER**

**AN: This story is a sequel to my story 'How the Mighty Fall in Love', which was a romance between Levi and my OC Lena. There are a few other OC that are back too. This is a modern world reincarnation story, with flashbacks and links to the previous story (but that doesn't mean you have to have read it). **

**The First Gloria**

**LEVI- Prologue**

I feel like I've died. I'm not really here, staring through another body's eyes into a grey, grey world. I pick up the pen again and begin writing, counting, writing, counting... It's my job- I have to do it. I chose to do this. But every day a part of me dulls and prepares to die at this desk. Nothing happens in this world. The only competition is the fight to keep your job or earn more; the only thrill that is supposed to exist here is 'love'. Something like that is even more tedious than working.

_DING._

Speaking of love. I check the screen and my girlfriend has text me again. It must be the third time in the last hour and I haven't replied to any of them. I briefly read the screen- _What time are you coming home tonight, darling?xx_

Home.

She had moved in like she belonged there. My apartment is no longer 'mine'. It is 'ours'. I don't like that. It is my space- so clean and tidy until she came in and moved her belongings beside mine. I can't even reach into the cupboard for shaving cream without pulling out a can of hairspray. My regular, boring life has been disrupted. Then again, I allowed her to disrupt it.

Sighing, I begin to type surreptitiously under my desk. The sprag of the workplace opposite me glares over her laptop screen to check why I'm not working. I press send and go back to writing.

_I'll be late. Don't wait up for me._

Though I haven't even thought of returning home, I guess the answer is already in my head. Yet again, I will leave work as soon as possible and spend the evening walking home, avoiding every short cut I go past. Then, I'll stand outside my apartment for a few seconds, gauging if I'm ready to go home. After that, I'll text Hanji and ask if she wants to go out for a drink. Though, recently, I've been asking her so often she might even say no for once.

Every day is so frustratingly black and white. There is no past for me- my past is my present. It is just another day where I'll die just that little bit more. Just another dragging moment of the same old, same old. I'm a lost cause; a soul wandering along hoping for change and doing nothing to initiate it.

I'm a lost cause.

I'm lost.

…

The clock struck 5:30pm and I was out of my seat before anyone had a chance to stop me. I collected my stuff and jammed folders into my bag, uncaring what state they'd be in when I dragged them out the next morning. A few people smiled or waved at me as I left; most just ignored me, as I ignored them. I kept as little contact as possible with the people in my workplace, aiming to forget work the moment I left the building. Obviously, that meant I gained a lot of enemies and sharp comments. But of course, this didn't bother me.

_Are you out of work now, darling?xx_

God, even her texts were the same. I decided to ignore it again; I hated having her on my case constantly. She'd ask me tonight why I hadn't replied and I would just state that I was busy. Then, once again, she'd drop the subject. Because she was like that.

She was kind- ridiculously so. She was the complete opposite of me. A bright, friendly girl who was strong and enjoyed living. She loved her job and worked harder than anybody, even taking work home to finish. Petra was beautiful. Her eyes were caring and soft, yet had a determined edge that complimented her strong personality. How on earth she had fallen in love with someone like me, I had no idea. One thing was certain though- she'd soon fall out of love. No one had ever stayed by my side for long, though this was my longest relationship. Hanji had once told me-

"Your personality draws plenty of girls to you. You seem like the mysterious, sexy and cool type. Then people get close to you and find a bomb waiting to explode. They realise nothing on the outside was a cover. You're so crystal clear to the world, yet people assume you're hiding your kind self beneath a barrier. There is a barrier there, but it's different from what they expected." That was after a few drinks on her part, of course.

She then compared me to one of her studies into wild silver-back gorillas, which was no different from her usual ramblings. When you're with Hanji, you learn to switch off. She says something worthwhile, but only 50% of the time. After that she covers it up with nonsense. She was my best friend- someone who had stayed with me. She was a rare breed, though sometimes I suspected she thought of me like another one of her animal studies. She said that my behaviour was identical to that of a black jaguar. From the way that she diagnosed and explained everything I did in terms of silver-backs and jaguars, then I was probably simply a strange creature she loved to study.

That didn't bother me.

I walked past the bus stop again. I had a car which I could easily drive to work, but I always used the excuse that I was saving money and the environment by using public transport. That was just an excuse to get out of the house early and return late. I usually walked, especially when I was busy. The more pressure I had on me to work or be a good boyfriend or whatever, the more likely I was to skive out of my problems and waste time walking.

I lived an hour or so away from work if I walked. If I took the bus, it was about half an hour. In the car, just twenty minutes. I couldn't care less about the polar bears; I didn't drive to work for my own sake. My boss had said if I was late once more, I'd receive a warning. The worst he could do was fire me, but actually, that could be the best thing he could do. The type of scenario I was imagining was getting fired, not being able to find a job, can't afford the apartment bills, Petra leaves me and I go back to how I was before: a single man without burdens in an apartment of his own. The problem was, I didn't want Petra to leave me. Not really.

In some ways, she was the best thing that could have happened to me. I'd gone downhill very quickly. I'd lost my last job from kicking the shit out of a guy; I won't go into details. I rejected jobs, rather than them rejecting me. I didn't want to go back to work. Work didn't suit me. Sitting behind a desk and talking to people didn't suit me. I wanted to be independent. The most excitement I got from my life back then was going to the gym or for a run. Hopefully, I'd bump into a drunk or drug addict on the subway who'd start a fight. They were the best. They didn't go crying to your boss if you left them in a heap on the floor.

At one point, I even considered joining the army. Adverts on the television- 'it's a state of mind' – encouraged me to break free from a boring desk job. I even went to the careers office numerous times... only to turn away from the door. Thoughts about having to work in a team and rely on others bothered me. Joining up could be the perfect remedy for me; I still don't understand why I can't enter that room. Something deterred me from wearing a uniform. Seeing the crisp, ironed material and polished boots... reminded me of something I couldn't place. An emotion that felt like fear (but couldn't be) would always arise. Like I'd lost something important.

Petra had come along and taken me out of my apartment, like a dog that needed walking. She'd tried to heal every problem in my life, forcing me to take a job interview and of course, with my grades I got the first one I applied for. Eventually, she'd asked me out and since I didn't want her to leave me, I said yes. We dated. We kissed. She asked if she could move in- I said yes. On the outside, it looked like everything was going well. In reality, I cared for her no more now that I had done before we dated. It felt like something was missing; that was probably my fault.

I loosened the tie on my neck and unbuttoned the top of my shirt, letting cool air flood my chest. I took a detour through the worst part of town; children ran through the streets despite how the winter darkness had already begun to creep in. Gangs of lads lurched on street corners drinking or smoking (or both). Smashed glass littered the path and dogs leapt at fences as I passed. I prayed for some action to occur. Someone, please, bring some crimson into this monotonous, bleak, grey world.

I reached our apartment with no trouble, as usual. It was 18:30 but I still wasn't ready to go inside. My hand twisted the keys in my pocket; what excuse could I use to go out tonight?

"Ah!" Someone spoke from behind me. "You're home, Levi!"

"Yeah." I said, partially turning to see Petra holding two carrier bags of shopping. "Clothes shopping?"

"No, food. We had ran out of cereal and milk."

"Oh."

"Are you going in then?" She asked, smiling as though I was some child in a day-dream.

"Actually, I think I'm going out-"

"Again?" She interrupted, her smile fading. "People will start to think you have a drinking addiction, Levi."

"People can think I've got an addiction to rainbow coloured underwear for all I give two shits."

"But darling," she almost pouted, using her fluttering eye lashes on me. "Can't you stay in with me tonight?"

"I'll see you when I get back."

"I'm not generally awake at 2am." Petra snorted. She sighed, dropping the carrier bags and getting her own keys out. I let her step in front of me to open the door. I followed her inside wearily, trying to escape as soon as possible. She placed the bags on the side and slapped her hand on her hips, confronting me. "We need to talk, Levi."

"Do we?"

"Clearly. Since you can't see a problem."

"I've got to see Hanji at some point in my life."

"That's not the issue. I don't mind you seeing Hanji- you know that."

"Then what's your problem?" I grunted, shutting the door reluctantly and slipping off my jacket.

"You leave the house at 5am. You work all day and don't text me. You walk home for as long as possible and then go back out drinking or getting into fights until 2am. Then you repeat the same thing, pretending that I don't know what you're thinking." I stayed quiet, refusing to get into an argument. Instead, I kicked off my shoes and slouched into the sofa. "Levi, you behave like a teenager at school."

"Great, I'm being patronised." I huffed, swinging my feet up onto the sofa so that I was laid across it, being careful not to let my socks touch the arm. I heard her bang around the room, hanging her coat up and putting away shopping as loudly as possible. Shit, she was angry for once.

"I'm just saying! This isn't a relationship! You're not even looking after yourself, never mind me!"

"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked bluntly. She went silent. Shit, maybe she was.

"How can you ask that so recklessly?" She said, her voice hushed and dangerous. "Do you even care if we're together?!"

Probably the worst mistake I made then was staying silent. I knew that I wasn't capable of showering her with compliments, so I said nothing. That probably hurt her more.

"How about we do break up then?" She asked. I sat bolt upright and twisted to stare at her. I wanted her to stay- I did. I needed her. Without her, I'd probably collapse back into darkness again.

"Petra, I-!"

"It's okay." Petra interrupted. "I don't want to break up. I just wanted to see your reaction, I'm sorry."

"... You're not leaving?"

"No," she smiled, tears glittering in her eyes. "I know you're having trouble with work. I shouldn't have made you take that job. I feel like I've caged a lion and sedated it into being docile. It's not right."

"Not another person comparing me to an animal." I huffed. She laughed gently and crossed the carpet to me.

"We'll look for another job, okay? Something that suits you more."

"And that will solve everything?" I hadn't meant to sound sceptical, but thankfully she didn't take offence.

"I believe it will. You'll be happier, won't you?"

"Of course. I can't stand that shit hole."

She leaned over me and kissed my forehead. "I'm not a school kid." I snorted. She smiled and kissed my lips gently, but before she could move away I deepened the kiss and pulled her into me.

Maybe things were about to change for the better.

…

This optimism hadn't lasted long. By the next morning, I wasn't prepared for another day of monotony. I rolled out of bed and yanked on my clothes, gulping coffee and slipping on my shoes. Petra was still asleep when I left the house.

The day dragged like a sloth trying to migrate from one tree to another. Every hour crawled by. I hadn't finished the work I was supposed to have done by dinner, so I couldn't even leave the building for a lunch break. I was cooped in a building hotter than a greenhouse with a bunch of chattering idiots. I knew that nothing could change; even if I did get a new job, it'd just be some other desk in some other building. I should really join the army, but-

I flashed out of reality._ Suddenly, I was fighting. Furiously slashing at something. Something huge. Something smiling grotesquely at me as I chopped it into pieces. I soared and fell and sliced and rose. Vermilion splashes followed my blades as they carved chunks out of my prey, before evaporating into a cloud of steam. I looked towards the ground and saw someone. Her face was familiar-_

Gone.

I stared at the wall in front of me, gathering my sanity back. These... dreams has been sending me into momentary inertia, succumbing to a maddening sense of twisted nostalgia. Then, they'd vanish faster than they had appeared. The face I had seen became blurred and I could no longer imagine it as vividly as I had before.

I must be going insane. It must be stress.

These moments had occurred in me since childhood. My first one had been when I was about 14: something about being a thug and my comrades under the earth... Of course, I thought I was going mad. I still think that. Recently, they've been coming more frequently, taking over my body. Over the last few years I had experienced them almost monthly. Each time it'd be slightly different imaginings. But always, always... I was fighting something terrifying. Giant beings storming settlements along with surreptitious plots...

I should see a psychiatrist.

Back to the real world- any job I could possibly apply for would just be another day at another desk with the same, menial task to complete. I'd still return home to Petra's stories of her 'wonderful job' and I'd still have the feeling in my stomach that I was missing something. A heaviness in my chest would always exist and a vacancy in my brain; thoughts of a past that sent me crazy every time I recalled it.

"Enjoying that coffee I made you?" Someone said, snapping me out of my thoughts. My eyes met the woman's, then drifted to the cold coffee which sat in my hand. I hadn't so much as thought about drinking it, despite how my hand was cupped around the icy pot. I looked up again and she rolled her heavily made-up eyes, which looked like an effort considering the amount of mascara and eye shadow she was wearing.

"Yeah, thanks." I muttered, for lack of anything else to say.

"How about I make you a fresh one?" She smirked, leaning forward to take the cup.

"No, just leave it."

"Or, we could go out after work and get one?" What was her name again? She sat a few seats away from me in the office and often made me a drink (even when I didn't ask for one). Her most redeeming (and exposed) features were sat on her chest: one was obvious and the other was the expensive looking jewellery slung around her neck. My eyes avoided both like the plague, even when she forced them into my eye line. I'd rather cut my eyeballs out to be honest.

"I'm good." I brushed her off and went back to work. She knelt at my desk, attempting to show off her 'gifts' again. By accident, I noticed her name tag- 'Luann'.

"You're always so distant." Luann pouted. "I want to get to know you."  
"Well unfortunately, I'm busy."

"When are you busy? We'll find a time when you're free."

"I'm busy as long as you're free."

"Then I'll sacrifice my timetable for you."

"And I'll still be busy."

"Meanie." She pouted childishly. I hadn't the patience to be hit on at the best of times and whilst I was at work, this patience was about as long as my fingernails.

"Luann!" Someone called. "You've got a text. Your phone's buzzing."

"Coming." She said back as I sighed internally with relief. "I'll see you later."

"Hopefully not." I said... In my head anyway.

Tick tock. Five o'clock. Thank fuck.

"I've finished for today. I'm off early." I dropped the documents on my manager's desk. He flicked through them briefly and then nodded.

"Wait, Levi." I stopped dead and groaned internally. "You've been really quiet recently... are you okay?"

"Fine."  
"If there's anything I can do to help-"  
"I'm fine." I repeated, grouchily.

"If you're sure?" The manager asked, rather than stated. I was out of the door before he could indulge in cliché terms such as 'I'm here for you if you need to talk'. Well, okay, hey. Let's talk about firing me. _Please. _

It wasn't long before I was walking down the usual busy high-street, cursing every person who bumped my shoulder or got in my way. I was in a foul mood; Petra wasn't going to help. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I ignored it again. I knew who it'd be and that I'd probably smash my phone if it was asking 'Are you out of work now?'.

The sky was gloomy and dark. Every time I left for work in the morning, it'd be barely light. Every time I returned home, it'd be just dark. It was like the sun was avoiding me and everyday I was beginning to feel colder, missing it's light. Someone rushed past me and we clanked shoulders- hard. I span around at the same time as him, a teenage lad with piercings littering his face like staples, and he spat in my direction.

"Watch it, old man."

"Oi." I growled low in my throat. We were blocking the traffic of people but I didn't care. "Watch how you talk, shit-head."

"I'll talk how I fucking like."

"And I'll walk where I fuckin please."

"Are you startin'?"

"What of it?"

"Alex," A girl pulled on his arm. "Let's go." The boy gave me the hardest glare he could muster, before leaving without muttering another word. Great, a teenage boy was more mature than I was. 

I felt empty.

Lost.

Oh God, please save me from myself.

A flash of brown hair caught my attention and sparked a fire in my forehead. I squinted under the sudden headache and saw a woman of around 20 on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me- there was no reason for her to. Her eyes were familiar, no matter how far away she was. Someone apologised to her as they bumped shoulders, like I had done seconds earlier. Gingerly, the girl rubbed her neck with her right hand and suddenly I was running.

"Hey you!"

My whole body was on fire with some sort of nostalgia, forcing me to run towards her and escape the flames. Images flashes in my head, pounding, pounding and roaring at me, interfering with reality so that I didn't see the car coming as I crossed the road-

"LEVI!"

I was literally dragged back into reality by Hanji, who grasped my coat tightly and yanked me onto the path. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" She panted. I struggled to sit up and looked around desperately, but she was gone.

"_Do you even know how to play?"_

"_Why?"_

"_There's a pair right there and you haven't called snap."_

"_Oh!"_

"_Oi brat! That hurt! Your reactions are terrible."  
"It's the alcohol."_

"Hanji... Am I going mad?"

"Huh?!" Hanji looked utterly confused- an expression which didn't suit her.

"I see things, remember things that haven't happened and... Lena."

"Who?" Her frown deepened and the creases on her forehead became more pronounced.

"I think she's Lena..."

"Come on, let's get you home. My car's around the corner."  
"How did you find me?" I asked, trying to compose myself as she helped me to my feet.

"I was texting you non-stop yet you just kept ignoring me."

"I thought you were Petra." I sighed.

"I figured. Anyway, I waited for you outside work and here we are. Now what's this about going mad?"

"It doesn't matter." I shrugged. "I've not had enough to drink."

"Ahh, okay." Hanji was doubtful but didn't say anything more. "Anyway, wasn't that close?! Jeez, you had my heart going."

"_PHEW! That was close!" _

"_Tell no one of this, shitty-glasses."_

"_Say, Levi. Do you hate me?... No, Hanji! I understand the act you put up needed to be believable- UGH!"_

"Leeeeviii...?" Hanji called as she opened the passenger door of her car for me to get in. I kneaded my forehead and groaned.

"Not you too..."

"Not me what?" She got in the front seat and shut the door. I followed and lolled forward in my seat.

"Hanji... Do you believe in reincarnation?"

…

**AN: **

**Hope you liked your taster chapter!**


	2. For the Next Fight

**For the Next Fight**

**HANJI-**

Pulling up outside Levi's work, I turned off the engine and felt the car shut down. I text Levi quickly, then waited. Knowing him, he'd try and get out of work as soon as he had finished. He'd become even worse recently: he wouldn't turn up on time; he'd leave early; he'd barely complete any work before deadlines and I had no doubt that he'd probably be giving attitude to his boss whenever questioned about his sudden irresponsibility. He really needed a new job, but no matter how many times I tried to convince him to find one, it seemed he was scared of jumping out into the unknown, and even more pessimistic that he might jump out of the frying pan and into the fire, as they say.

I looked up and spotted the good old miserable bastard leaving work. He bashed shoulders with someone- probably on purpose- then span around ready to challenge them. He was most likely disappointed as they walked on, unperturbed. I text him again, watching as his hand went for his vibrating pocket, then thought better of it. After spamming him with texts, I decided to run after him.

By the time I'd locked up my car and found Levi in the mob of people, he was growling at some kid. He looked like he was dying to hit something, but I was saved from preventing this by a girl who dragged the other teen away. I saw Levi click his tongue in frustration. _Really, Levi. Just how low are you going to let yourself fall?_

Then, Levi's expression changed. Like a flash of light, his brow uncreased and his expression softened. My gaze wandered in the direction he was staring, confused. I couldn't see anything that stood out- the usual traffic, people walking by, dogs on leads... When I looked back, Levi was staggering into a run. My brain raced and adrenaline suddenly kicked my legs into action. Levi was running straight into the road, but this didn't seem like some type of suicide attempt.

It was like he didn't even know the road was there.

He stepped into the road regardless of the car hurtling towards him. I yelled his name and violently threw him back onto the path, stumbling after him. Passers by turned their heads to watch us panting on the kerb.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" It was only then that I realised I was scared. My body had reacted before my brain had registered that something was wrong. Levi still didn't look at me. He sat up quickly and looked past me at the other side of the road. After a few seconds, he collapsed back onto the path. A vague expression emptied his face of emotion, like he was in a trance. In some ways, this expression scared me more than his actions.

"Hanji... Am I going mad?"

"Huh?!"

"I see things, remember things that haven't happened and... Lena." I'd never seen Levi like this. He was in a daze and for once, he wasn't angry. He was stunned.

"Who?" I asked, racking my memory to see if he had ever spoke about this Lena before. Work college? Old friend? Petra's pet name?

"I think she's Lena...!"

"Come on, let's get you home. My car's around the corner."  
"How did you find me?" He asked as I helped him to my feet. My my, he had never been bright.

"I was texting you non-stop yet you just kept ignoring me."

"I thought you were Petra."

"I figured. Anyway, I waited for you outside work and here we are. Now what's this about going mad?"

"It doesn't matter. I've not had enough to drink." I got the feeling that he wouldn't be telling me no matter how drunk he decided to get today.

"Ahh, okay. Anyway, wasn't that close?! Jeez, you had my heart going." I patted him on the back, showing him to my car. I noticed he had zoned out again. "Leeeeviii...?" I waved a hand in front of his face and opened the passenger door. He snapped awake and groaned, kneading his forehead. He looked worn out- beaten, even.

"Not you too..."

"Not me what?" I got into my side and prepared for more madness to spill from his mouth. I'd done a bit about stress-related illnesses in my career, but I'd never linked the words 'ill' and 'Levi' together until now. I'd have to call Erwin ASAP. To my shock, his shoulders hunched and he let himself loll forward into his seat. He really _was_ beaten.

"Hanji... Do you believe in reincarnation?"

…

**LEVI-**

Unexpectedly, she listened to the end without interrupting. I told her about the dreams I'd had and the day dreams and how I was some corporal and we were fighting giants. Then, I told her about the girl and how I'd seen her. I tried not to go into too much detail in case she was thinking about where the nearest psycho ward was. I left out a lot of details, mostly because I didn't know them. There were gaping holes in this... memory. When I finished, she blinked.

"Well, it's not likely." That was it. I was going to be locked up. "But it's not impossible."

"It sounds insane." I looked out of the window to hide my embarrassment.

"From you, especially. That's why I'm more inclined to believe." Hanji nodded. "I mean, my cousin Eren blabbers on about stupid things all the time. He talks about these walls and caged humans or something-"

"Walls?!"

"50 meters high he says! 50 meters Hanji, 50 meters!" Hanji whined, imitating her cousin.

"Kyojins?!"

"And something called the-"

"Survey corps." I finished eagerly. She stopped, words catching in her throat.

"Have you met him?"

"No. Give me his number."

"This is creepy." She shuddered. "And by 'not you too', do you mean _I_ was in this parallel world?"

"Don't call it a parallel world." I averted my eyes out of the window. "It's probably nonsense."

"If two people who haven't met each other have imagined the same 'nonsense', it starts to become more than that." Hanji said. She was right- this was weird. What if all my life, I hadn't been crazy? What if this world had been, or was, real?

I needed to find that girl again.

**LENA-**

"Did you have fun in your after school art class?" I asked my sister, smiling gently at the streaks of red paint that stained her arms.

"Well, I suppose so..." Her bottom lip stuck out slightly as I took her hand in mine.

"Ahh, you're at that stage are you?"

"What stage?" She quickly snapped back, sensing that I was undermining her. Ema was eleven; almost half my age. I had an older brother who was three years older than me. My mother and father met early and married early, meaning my brother was born when mum was just 18. When she was 21, she had me and little Ema followed when mum was 30. I don't know what possessed my parents have have another child, because a few years later they divorced and now we all lived separately.

"The rebellious stage." I teased. "Have you got your bus money?"

"Yes, as usual." She sniffed, haughtily.

Since mum worked nights as a nurse, I had responsibility for taking Ema to and from school. That was kind of annoying in one way, because I couldn't get a job. All my time was sapped away by responsibilities... But I shouldn't complain. Although, things would be much easier if Luca had stayed with us instead of living with our father. As it was, the cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, everything was done by me, whilst mum slept during the day. Mum worked one week of days, one week of nights and had the third week off. In that week, instead of taking over my duties, she'd bury herself away in her room to complete the degree she was doing in her spare time.

I'd long since thrown away all hope of getting my dream job. I had always wanted to be a physiotherapist (I also wanted to be a world champion athlete, but lets ignore that goal). I planned to study at university, get a degree and then finally having some income- a good income too! The problem was, our family wasn't the richest family in the world. It wasn't the poorest either, but as a single parent family, mum's wage was barely enough to get us by. Add to that, Ema's art after school class and her dancing hobby... We weren't left with much disposable income at the end of the month. As the eldest, I was expected to sacrifice my share for Ema.

So, in the end, here I was. I worked in a café on weekends, baby sat during the day and occasionally walked the neighbours dogs in the mornings. When the day comes that Ema is old enough to finally help out with chores and walk home herself, then I might be able to search for a more profitable lifestyle.

Though I'd probably never get that degree I wanted.

"Lena," I jolted and looked at my sister. "Your phone's ringing."

"Ah, oh yeah." I reached into my bag and swiped the screen. "Hello?"

"Hey! We're at Koneko's. Want to come meet us?" Kurt, my best friend, answered in his usual jovial tones. I could hear static chatter in the background.

"Who's we?" I asked.

"Me, Guth and Stein."

"I'm just taking my sister home, so I'll be half an hour."

"That's okay, we only just got here."

"See you there then."

"Yeah, see ya."

I put my phone back into my bag and met Ema's anticipatory gaze.

"What?"

"You said you'd take me to the book store today."

"Ahh... so I did." I swore internally. "Any chance we can go tomorrow?" I pleaded. She huffed and folded her arms, returning to face the front of the bus. She didn't say anything more, lips pursed. "Ema?" I spoke softly, prodding her arm. "I promise I'll take you tomorrow." She ignored me and I knew that this was going to be one of those tantrums that lasted days. "If you're in a tantrum tomorrow I won't take you. Now get up, this is our stop." I said harshly, striding off the bus. She shuffled behind, not even bothering to thank the driver.

Ah great. Now I was in a foul mood too.

…

"Come here, Lena!" Kurt cooed, waggling his finger at a cat. "Come on!"

"That's highly offensive." I pouted.

"Yeah but look! It has the same moody personality as you!" The cat in question casually swiped at a kitten which had been trying to capture her tail. The kitten ran off to bug another cat.

As you may guess, this was no ordinary café. It was one of the few cat cafés in existence. You'd eat or drink at the table, with kittens and cats that had been rescued swarming around your ankles. The tables were designed to be high enough so cats couldn't jump onto them, though the occasional cat managed it. Guthrie and Stein were still sat on the high chairs, sipping coffee and hot chocolate respectively. Kurt was laid on the floor cooing over the cat he had named Lena, which blatantly ignored him. I sat beside him, trying to ward away the negative demons causing my foul mood.

"Hey look, that one's Guthrie!" Kurt laughed, pointing to a kitten which was furiously trying to drag a toy from under a much heavier adult. "Thinks he's buff!"

"Shut it." Guthrie smirked. "Anyway, Lena. What's put you in such a foul mood?"

"Nothing." I grunted. "It's just I spend every day wasting it on Ema. I make her food, clean her pots, wash and iron her clothes, pick her up from school, take her to dancing, take her to the library... and I'm fed up."

"No kidding." Stein said. "I don't even wash the pots. My dishwasher does them."

"If you're talking about your girlfriend then I'm going to hit you." I warned.

"No, no." Stein laughed. "We bought an actual dishwasher."

"Wish we could afford one of those." I sighed.

"I thought you had one?" Kurt frowned.

"Yeah, until last year. It kept cutting the electricity when we used it and then it leaked water everywhere."

"Why don't you get it fixed?"

"Because it's only one thing on a list of a million." I sighed. "Next on the priority list is the broken door lock. We've not been able to lock the door for about three months."

"So I can break into your house and find your diary?"

"If you avoid Mike." I grinned. Kurt shivered.

"Kurt, that dog wouldn't hurt a fly if it hit it in the face." Guthrie laughed. It was true; our dog was ridiculously soft... or just lazy.

"It's so creepy though. When it sniffed me for the first time, I swear it smirked."

"It did." I said.

"Back onto the subject of the dishwasher..." Guthrie stepped into the conversation. "If you want to borrow some money, just ask. I don't even need it paying back." I felt myself glowering at him and looked away. I know I shouldn't be angry at such a generous offering, but all my morals completely rejected the idea and it annoyed me that he'd even thought I'd accept. Was that how much pity he felt towards me?

"No thanks." I said, turning away to tickle an obese cat which had flopped itself in front of me. I felt it's stomach vibrate and heard its gentle purring fill the silence. "Anyway, I've got to get back." I sighed, standing and brushing the fur from my trousers.

"Don't tell me you're working again tonight?" Guthrie gave me a look that said, 'don't you think you're taking this too far?'.

"As I do every night."

"That job isn't safe." He gave me his best disapproving look. I brushed him away.

"It pays." I shrugged.

And that was another of my jobs. From 8pm till 12 midnight, I worked in a pub. It was one of the rowdiest pubs in the area, with the worst reputation. It was always jam-packed with drunks and there wasn't a night that went by where a fight did not occur. I was something of a part time worker. They only called me in when they expected it to be busy, and I was only paid for the hours I did. Recently, however, pubs across the country were all bustling with people because of some worldwide football event that I couldn't care less about. This meant I'd been called in a lot; I'd been working every night this week and was expecting to every night next week.

"If anything happens, call us. No matter what time!" Guthrie called after me as I left.

"Alright! Bye!" I called without conviction.

…

It was one o'clock in the morning when I eventually staggered in from work. I felt dead on my feet and my ears were still ringing with catcalls. I could swear that the stench of alcohol had second hand effects. Every time I came home from there, I was exhausted to the point that I couldn't keep my eyes open. It didn't help that I had to set my alarm for 6am either- and it killed me to do so. I wondered if I really needed that extra £2.50 from Mrs Pembrook to walk her dog at 6am... Then I saw dishwasher across the room staring at me.

I could always sleep once I got home later on.

…

"Lena!" Ema complained. "I'm going to be late!" I shoved the last piece of toast from my plate into my mouth and forced myself to swallow it. I felt sick with exhaustion, but I needed to eat even though I didn't feel like it.

"Is mum's car here?" I asked, pulling on my shoes.

"Yeah, she's in bed."

"Get in then, I'll drive you."

I started the engine and pulled off of our driveway into the road. I squinted my eyes, trying to wake up properly. It was my fault for laying down for two minutes once I'd got back from dog walking. It wasn't long before I'd fallen asleep and Ema had woken me (angrily) about five minutes ago.

"What have you got today then?" I asked, lazily.

"I've got art." She beamed from the back seat. I glanced at her through my rear view mirror.

"After school?"

"No, as a lesson. I have dance after school today."

"That's great." I said, monotonously.

"But you're taking me to the book shop today."

"Oh yeah." I grunted. I had forgotten. "Have you got your money then? We'll go straight after school."

"No."

"What do you mean, no?" I asked, narrowly breaking before the car in front. I felt a wave of panic flash in my chest, before I calmed myself. _That was incredibly close. I need to wake myself up._

"I don't have any. Mum took the rest of my birthday money for shopping the other day and she forgot to pay me back."

"Looks like I'll be paying then. Again." I sighed.

"It's fine, isn't it?" Ema said. "You got your money from your job last night."

"I was planning to save up for something to stop the house falling down though." I noted sarcastically.

"The house is fine." Ema huffed; I could tell she was annoyed that I was irritated because I had to buy her books. I should pretend to be more caring around Ema, but recently my patience was running thin.

"Whatever, we're here. I'll see you after school."

"Bye." Ema slammed the door shut and strode away.

"I've fucked up again." I sighed.

I managed to get back in time to secure myself a few minutes sleep, before I dragged myself out of my bed for my next job. I had to baby sit a woman's children from 11 till 3 as she had begun working part time again after maternity leave. The twins, Samuel and Amie, were little older than a year and possibly irritated me more than a hundred little sisters. When I returned home, I collapsed into the sofa and glanced lazily at the clock... and groaned loudly.

Time to pick up Ema.


	3. To Die in Vain

**[THEY] DIED IN VAIN.**

**KURT-**

I stole a glance at the woman across from me. She finally felt the chill of the evening and covered up her cleavage for once, draping a jacket over her shoulders but not wearing it. I examined her straightened hair, shining with all the products I had no doubt she lathered onto it every night. She reached a hand up and wiped under her eyes with one finger, making sure not to gouge her eye out with the fake nails attached to her fingertips. I wondered- why was I even here?

I'd been by her side since I was small. I can't even remember the day we met, or imagine my life before her. She'd never been a particularly meaningful aspect of my life. She was like a shadow- something that had always existed and was always close, but I never really paid much attention to her. I had spent most evenings of my life with her in this same scenario: her slouched on the sofa at my house drinking a can of coke or larger, depending on her day; me on the sofa opposite, marking papers or planning for work. It was comfortable and casual. It had always been this way.

"Stop staring." Luann snapped, jolting her eyes in my direction and fixing me with a fiery glare.

"I was just wondering what the occasion was." I retorted, averting my gaze away from hers and back to the sheets laid out in front of me.

"What do you mean?" She asked. "Anyway, can you shut that door for once? It's nearly winter now!"

"You know I hate being too warm." I replied, checking the sky through the open veranda of my apartment. It was a blue-black, littered with sparkling lights of the city and glowing street lights. "You're dressed differently to usual." She sniffed lightly at my comment but didn't deny it. "I mean, you usually dress like you're in Hawaii but at least you leave _something _to the imagination." I didn't need to look up to see her scowling.

"Simple solution- don't look, perv."

"Found someone you like?" I asked as the TVs volume suddenly increased with the laughter of the audience. Neither of us were really watching it; it was just background noise. Her eyes glazed over.

"Something like that."

Spending as much time with her as I did, it was obvious to me that something was bothering her. It wasn't that she liked anyone, yet she was still trying to impress them. I had an idea of what that meant. I sighed and asked another question instead.

"How's your mother doing?" I said. She exhaled through her mouth and slowly took another swig of her drink.

"The doctors are threatening to send her back to public treatment if I don't pay up soon."

"Do you need some cash?" I asked, knowing the answer just as much as she did. There was a silence as she gritted her teeth. I watched her mentally battle between her stubborn pride and her desperation, before I decided to make a decision for her. "It'll be in your account tomorrow. Pay me back whenever, as usual." She lowered her eyes, humiliated.

"...Thanks."

"Don't get the wrong idea. It's because your mum is the only one who tells you off for that rotten personality of yours."

"She loves _you_ to pieces though."

"Who doesn't?" I grinned, feeling the mood lighten a bit. My phone had been persistently buzzing in my pocket for a while now, so I decided to see what the fuss was. I shuffled my papers together, put the lid on my pen and stood up, easing the phone from my pocket. I noticed Luann's ears prick up as I read the text on the screen... or multiple texts, as it turned out.

_ \- Lena, how did ur job go last nite?_

_Steinster- give her a break, dude_

_ \- what do u mean?_

_Steinster- she doesnt like you fussing ;)_

_simba- That job is fantastic. It's my current work that's tipping me over the edge._

_Steinster- your lack of patience with kids is brilliant_

_Steinster- even with your own little sister_

_simba- I know. I'm a charming young woman._

_Steinster- wife material_

_ \- didnt mean to fuss but your overworking yourself_

_simba- *you're_

_ \- im not?_

_Steinster- no, guth. shes being the grammar police_

_Steinster- lena let him off, hes only an engineer_

_simba- If anyone should be correcting his grammar, it's our future teacher here ;)_

_Steinster- Kurt we know youve seen the messages, reply!_

As I was reading, more messages popped up in the group chat. I smirked to myself and prepared a sarcastic response.

"Talking to that cow?" Luann said, attempting to pass the comment off casually.

"It's a group chat."

"Is she in it?"

"Yeah."

"She's so full of herself." Luann sniffed, pretending to absorb herself in the TV. "I can't stand how she's always begging for attention. Why do you talk to her?"

"When did you win the award for personality of the year?" I decided to put my phone away to quell the argument. I knew that those two had history and both were probably so similar that they were different. They didn't like to admit it, but they were similar people at heart. Except, Luann was a lot more reserved and came across as quite surreptitious and intelligent despite her words. On the other hand, Lena was more vocal about what she thought, sometimes presenting herself naïvely. Other than that, they shared many similar characteristics, though neither would admit that if their lives were in the balance.

"Do you like her?" Luann asked, hiding her face by drinking from the can. I stared at her in silence, waiting for her to lower the can so I could catch her eyes. When I did, she looked a bit surprised, before smiling a little at my expression- 'are you having a laugh?'. "Just wondering. Have you even had a girlfriend?"

"I have enough trouble looking after you."

"I don't need looking after." Luann turned her nose up and I felt the familiarity of that sharp barrier she loved to place between herself and others.

"You wouldn't be human if you didn't need a break occasionally."

"I just prefer getting drunk here so I don't wreck my own house." She commented, opening another can as if to demonstrate her point.

"Don't I know it. Anyway, don't you think you should head back? It's getting late."

"I'll just sleep here." I raised an eye brow but said nothing more. Something really _was _bothering her.

"... I've got a new inflatable mattress so you can sleep on my bed tonight."

"I don't mind sleeping on the floor."

"Get lost, the air bed is comfier!" I snorted, leaving the living room before she could argue.

I checked my room and tidied the piles of papers and documents on my bed, before taking a shower. Before long, I was out and dried. Usually, I'd change into a pair of boxers but I thought since I had visitors, I might at least put on some shorts. Towel in hand, I walked back into the living room.

"Lu, the shower's free." When I didn't receive a reply, I looked over at her. Luann was splayed out of the same sofa, TV blasting over the sound of her light breathing. As I stepped closer, she still didn't open her eyes. Sighing, I bent down to lift her up and carried her to my bedroom.

"I hope you don't do this at every guy's house." I remarked under my breath, being careful not to wake her. The smell of alcohol tainted her breath as it brushed across my shoulder. Slowly, I lowered her onto the bed and pulled the sheets over her. She half-regained consciousness at this point, but was clearly too tired to resist as I laid her back and removed her jacket. Before I turned off the lights, I delved into my wardrobe and pulled out the female clothes which had remained there washed and ironed since the last time she'd stayed over and left them. For a second, I wondered where else she'd left her clothes... but quickly shunned the thought to the back of my head, folding the clothes and leaving them where she'd find them tomorrow.

"Night, Luann." I whispered on the small chance she was still awake. Then, I turned off the lights and closed the door.

…

**PETRA-**

I woke up pretty quickly, snapping off my alarm so as not to wake Levi. Looking across, he was still sound asleep. I smiled slightly- it was never good to wake a sleeping Levi. It would put him in a bad mood for the rest of the day. In the darkness, I watched his chest rise and fall under the sheets, his body routinely sleeping on his side and _only_ his side. At work, I'd hear stories of people complaining that their husbands took up the whole bed, but maybe I was lucky to have Levi. He'd never stray a single limb over to me and always slept facing away from me.

Or maybe I was unlucky.

It felt cold over this side. On my own.

I quickly vaporised those thoughts and slid my legs over the side of the bed, removing my night gown and sliding open my underwear drawer. I connected the straps of a lacy black bra and pulled it on. I put on matching underwear and made my way over to the dressing table on Levi's side of the room. I always put on my clothes last, as if I could somehow entice the sleeping Levi with my body. I knew it was vein, but Levi had never once made a comment on my appearance. He'd never once initiated spontaneous kisses or touched me. Again, I forced those thoughts away, convincing myself that these were good traits for a man to have. I didn't want cheesy one-liners telling me how beautiful I was. I definitely didn't want a man that only wanted me for sex.

_But once in a while, it'd be nice for him to show some interest in me. _I sighed. I put down the mascara brush and looked over my shoulder. He was still asleep. Reluctantly, I put on a shirt and decided it was time to make breakfast.

The smell of food must have awoken the sleeping beast because some minutes later whilst the pans were sizzling, he appeared in his boxers and blinked in the sudden light. I laughed to myself, marvelling at his uncharacteristically slow morning phase. Levi and 'clumsy' were not two words you'd put together unless they were connected with a negative, but anyone that had seen him in the mornings would think twice. He staggered across to the bathroom and I heard sounds of running water as he washed his face. When he walked back into the kitchen again and sat himself before the morning cup of tea I'd made him, he looked slightly more awake. I added a slight flounce to my walk and dished up his breakfast, making sure to lean forward as I handed it him. He barely looked up as he took the plate.

"Morning, darling!" I beamed brightly. He grunted back. For a second, Levi's hand paused over his cup of tea and his eyes glazed over. I raised a curious eyebrow as his eyes snapped to a cupboard in the corner. I sat opposite him with my own food, watching him silently. Then, he zoned back into the room again and continued to sip his tea. "What's up?"

"Thought I sensed dust." He muttered, glancing at the clock. I smiled happily and began to make casual conversation, to which he occasionally replied with one word, or simply made a noise that was suitable as a response.

"Oh and you know Senna? My college?" I continued. "She's getting married this year!"

"Which one's that?"

"The one who's my age with brown hair. She's been with him two years!" Levi snorted, as though disgusted by the idea. "How long have we been together now?" I sighed dreamily, tilting my head at him.

"Is that a test?" He asked. When I didn't respond, he exhaled slowly. "Three years this Saturday. I haven't forgotten." I giggled happily and he just smirked.

"What are we doing for it then?" I was giddy with excitement, which Levi had quickly picked up on and looked down at me like an overexcited puppy.

"I'll take you out some place."

"Really?!" I gasped, swinging my legs under the table. "Where?"

"You chose."

"It has to be a surprise! You chose!"

"How ridiculous. What if I chose somewhere you hate?"

"If you chose it, I'll love it."

"Mason's it is then."

"Except that." I pouted, disgusted with the idea of spending my anniversary in a pub. I continued grinning at him as he finished his breakfast. As he finished, I stood up and silkily strode over behind him. My heart beat quickly in my chest, but I decided to just go for it. Pushing away the plates before him to clear the way, I sat on the table facing him, bare legs draped over the side. He looked up at me, raising an eye brow. I assessed his expression, searching for a hint of interest in his eyes to spur me on. When I received nothing but his usual calm expression, I decided to press ahead. I couldn't stop now. I shifted my arms so that I was pushing out my chest and took one hand up to undo the buttons on my shirt. He watched me do so, moving not a single muscle in response. "Levi..." I whispered. "We've got some time before work..." He still watched me and I felt panic spark up in my chest. He wasn't interested. I wasn't attractive to him at all. This was so out of character; why was I doing this?

A flush of red lit up my cheeks and I abruptly stopped what I was doing. I snapped my legs together and began redoing the buttons again, disgusted at myself. I felt tears in the back of my eyes and lowered my gaze so he couldn't see them. Eventually, Levi moved. To my shock, he took my hands so that I stopped redoing the buttons. Once I looked up at him, frozen, he held one of my legs in his hands and slid his fingertips down my smooth skin. He ran his hands up and down my right leg, sending shivers of excitement through my body. The tears stopped forming in my eyes and I relaxed once more.

All of a sudden, he stopped. His eyes shot open wide and glazed over. For several seconds, he remained that way and I waited nervously.

"I... I've got training today. I've got to be in work early." He simply said, standing quickly and striding back into our room.

He left several minutes before I did, muttering a goodbye as I prepared my work bag. I smiled and waved him off, before bursting into tears.

…

**LUANN-**

An alarm I didn't recognise woke me, startling my body into movement with it's pulsating, loud beeps. It definitely wasn't _my_ alarm as mine played soft, calm songs. I hated being woken abruptly. My heart pounded as I frantically searched for the device in my half-asleep state, groggily sliding one finger across the screen and taking a moment to get my bearings. It didn't take me long to realise I was in Kurt's room, it's familiar smell, familiar white walls and familiar organisation calming me. I couldn't remember how I'd gotten into his bed and that sounded like a bad omen. Indeed, it would be with any other man, but Kurt seemed to have no attraction to me whatsoever. And even if he did, he had surprisingly strong morals. I was safe with Kurt.

I raised an eyebrow at the pile of clothes and a note left for me. He was so reliable that it made me queasy. He'd even set an alarm so that I got to work on time. I sometimes felt guilty at how I allowed him to pamper me, but reassured myself that it was his fault for being such a worrier. With anyone else, if they had cared for me as much as he did to every last detail, I would have insulted them and felt ridiculously uncomfortable.

He was different though. I didn't mind that he'd left me sticky labels all over the apartment, answering my every question even though I practically lived in his house more than my own.

_Use this toothbrush. It's new._

_Cereal is in this cupboard. Sausages in the fridge._

_If you don't have your spare key, mine is in the drawer next to my bed._

_Number 12 bus leaves at 8:00 and 8:15 and goes past your work. Don't drive in case you're still drunk._

_Bus money here. Pay me back whenever._

_Made you a packed lunch. Turn your nose up at it and you're barred from my house._

I sniffed as I collected the pieces of paper, folding each carefully and throwing them away. "What are you, my mother?" I said, scornfully. As I was about to head out, I read the last post-it: _You won't get this treatment again so sort your life out. _Harsh words, which were completely counteracted by the last sentence. _Text me when you get to work._

Kurt, you little worrier.

…

I made it to work safely - I know, surprise – and messaged him a sarcastic insult as I sat behind my desk and prepared the day's work before me. I had a pretty relaxed day ahead by the look of it. I received a reply almost instantly and opened up my phone again. It read: _Some people can't be helped. And shouldn't be._ I wasn't about to initiate a full-blown conversation with him, so I turned my phone on silent and began to start my computer. As I waited for the monitor to load, I cast my eyes over to Levi's desk. He was sat behind it, which was a surprise. I glanced at the clock, confirming that he was, in fact, early for once. His eyes were tired and frustrated. He kneaded his temples and sighed repeatedly. He usually looked worn out, but right now he seemed more depressed than ever.

It wasn't any of my business, but I'd been watching him for some time and it was clear that he was being chained down like an animal. He was restless and hated sitting down for too long. He'd see his phone illuminate next to him and turn it over so he couldn't see it. Higher ups would give him orders and with reluctance, he'd bite down his words and just get on with it. I'd never seen someone before look as caged; trapped; bitter and angry all the while. I wondered why he was even here, wondered what he was getting out of it and who could possibly force him to stay. If he hated life here so much, what was tying him down?

I waved the thoughts aside and went back to work.

**AN-**

**I promised myself I wouldn't catch up, yet I keep uploading chapters... oh dear. Also, I keep writing yet I have important exams- like REALLY important exams- pretty soon. Ha, hahaha, ha... haa~ *awkward laughter* **

**Okay, now we have got a little bit into the story- any guess as to what's going to happen next?;)**

**And to all new readers who haven't read HTMFIL, please let me know youre out there and if you're confused because I can explain some stuff then:) **


	4. Last Lone Arrow

**LAST LONE ARROW**

**LEVI-**

"I'll take you out some place." I had said, and now I was cursing myself. I knew what she'd want to do- there was no doubt in my mind what she was expecting. Dinner in a fancy restaurant, flowers on the table, dimmed lights, classical music and – quelle suprise! - a ring. A fancy diamond ring worth a bomb, presented to her on one knee. I was certain I could plan a perfect night for her in my head, but there were several problems with that:

a) my personality

Get real. I don't get down on one knee to tie shoe laces, never mind to propose. And in a public place? The thought makes me wretch. Even in private, such an act of dedication and commitment was counteractive to the way my brain worked. If I decided I wasn't ready to marry her, then the problem still lay with the whole restaurant set up. Then, in the evening, she'd want to do what couples do...

b) my feelings

I don't want to marry her. I don't want to tie myself down, even though I'm practically living the married life already. Having sex? There was nothing wrong with sex, obviously... but it felt wrong. We'd done it before and the whole time a pulsating throb of conscience somewhere inside me ruined the atmosphere. It felt like I was betraying somebody. Myself and my morals? Maybe. Her, for feeling more obligated to have sex than willing? Possibly. In the end, maybe I just wasn't the type of person for marriage.

Yet I wasn't willing to let her go, either.

c) That girl

I felt like the answers to my entire life of madness were by her side. If I spoke to her, I felt like I'd remember everything. Did I want to know? A part of me said no, but the rest of me, the side of me that sat behind this same desk everyday and fulfilled the dogmas of society, said fuck yes. It was the revolution I was searching for. Even if the memories – or whatever the hell they were – shattered my life and reconstructed it anew, I was completely fine with that. Go for it. Wreck me; tear me apart; destroy me. If you can.

So, I was back to the problem of Petra. I knew what she wanted, but was so repulsed by the idea that I couldn't bring myself to book the table. I drummed my fingers in aggravation, casually clicking my way through screens and opening emails. My fingers lazily scrolled across the keyboard, typing responses as my mind wandered. It flicked from Petra, to the girl. Petra, to the girl. 'Who was she?' 'Where could I find her again?' Followed by, 'How can I get out of this Saturday?'.

In no time at all, it was dinner and I picked at the lunch Petra had made for me whilst replying to personal texts and emails.

_One unread message- Shitty Glasses_

_Two unread messages- Petra Ral_

_One unread message- unknown_

_One unread email- cbay_

_One unread email- Shitty Glasses Email_

An email _and_ a text from Hanji? Jeez, she must be bored. The maniac rarely text during working hours because she was either studying, preparing what to study or dissecting something. I warned her never to text me when she had just been mauling dead creatures in case the dirt could transfer through satellites to my hands. I opened the text first:

_I've told Eren, my cousin about you. He said he'll text you._

Sure enough, the unknown message read- _this is Eren Jager, Hanji's cousin. Would you mind if we met up?_

Then, I read Petra's messages and replied with the usual shite to her unnecessary messages. Next came the email from Hanji, which consisted of links to restaurant offers, weekend hotels and other places that made me wretch labelled- _Thought you'd be having trouble, clean freak._

Sighing deeply, I closed the messages and lowered my phone to the desk. Just as I did so, a mug of coffee appeared beside me.

"What's bugging you?" Luann chimed.

"Lay off it." I complained, unwilling to even act polite.

"Do you need a shoulder massage to loosen your tense muscles?"

"Get lost."

"I'm good at massages."

"I don't care if you're Jesus. Piss. Off."

"You really are in a foul mood." She sniffed, dragging a seat next to me and leaning in.

"I don't get what part of that invites you closer?" I growled, delivering her my best scowl. She didn't flinch.

"Want me to do some of your work? I've nearly done mine."  
"I can cope."

"Colleagues should help each other out."

"Then would you mind helping me out and returning to your own fucking desk?" I spat bitterly. She paused, reading my expression carefully.

"You seem aggravated. Are you being forced into something?" She'd pretty much nailed it, but I wasn't about to give her that satisfaction. I ignored her and she continued. "Well, I don't know what it is but I'd say that the best thing to do would be to talk it out with them."

"Thanks for the advice." I remarked, drowning the words in pools of sarcasm.

"You're welcome." She beamed. I knew that she'd picked up on the sarcasm, but for whatever reason (possibly to irritate me) she continued regardless. She stood up and began to walk back to her chair. As she passed me, she stroked a hand gently over my back.

"Loosen up. You'll get wrinkles." Luann waved, disappearing behind her own computer.

She was a strange woman. She seemed like a total ditz on the outside, yet I knew she was incredibly intelligent and was thought of in the highest regard by her colleagues and bosses. Moreover, in conversations I overheard her have with others (especially females), she was cynical and had strong virtues. As soon as she spoke to me though, she dropped them all and decided to wind me up as quickly as possible. What was her problem?

The end of the day crawled closer and closer, until bang on five o'clock I turned off my computer and packed my bags before anyone could stop me. I was out of the door in minutes and took a different route to my usual amble home. Instead of going home, I had decided to release some tension at the gym (and avoid Petra for a few more hours). The vibration in my pocket came bang on time, and I quickly typed a vague response about going out. She sent another back almost instantly- _Okx. _

The lack of affection in that one text made me start a little. Usually, texts were flooded with 'darlings' and kisses... 'Ok' seemed a little _off_. Though, who could blame her after this morning. I crossed my way through the gym car park, dodging cars towards the entrance and inserting my card in the turnstile. With one swipe, I was in. I got changed in the men's room and stuffed my work bag into a locker. I retrieved my water bottle from the bag before I shut the door and filled it under the tap. Heading out into the crowded air of the 'Thursday After Work Gym Session', the vibe from the music soon spurted my muscles into action.

I warmed up on the treadmill, contemplating which muscles to concentrate on later. I eyed up the equipment in the weights section, noticing an unusual sight. I wasn't a sexist man, but it was rare to see a woman in the weights section on her own. Curiously, I looked her up and down. Black, shoulder length hair and dark eyes gave her an oriental appearance, coupled with a small but strong stature. She had muscles all right. Her biceps were bigger than most of the men's. Her grey crop top showed off her abs too and rightly so, because they were impressive work. She had her legs draped over one end of the bench and lent back off one end to do incline sit ups.

My eyes moved on and soon ten minutes had passed; I made my way over to the weights area. It was packed full of men in muscle tops and boys lifting weights with an incredible lack of technique. It was a wonder they hadn't put their backs out yet. I began on the lateral pull, adjusting the weight a few times before I really got into it. After a few sets of reps, I let go of the bar and took a moment to breathe.

"Are you using this?" A female voice asked from behind me. I looked around and the Asian from before wiped the sweat on her forehead with a towel, watching me.

"I was just finishing." I lied, standing up and deciding to move on.

"Thanks." I vaguely heard her say.

It wasn't long before I ran into her again. This time, as I headed over to the leg press I saw she was already using it. A gang of three men towered over her in their ridiculously baggy tops, each donned with an equally stupid hat, too. They were inside for god's sake. As I approached, I caught onto their words:

"Oi lass, what're you doin' in this section?"

"Get back into the salsa class."

"This is the men's section."

I raised an eyebrow, feeling a spark of irritation build up within me. My muscles were almost constantly sprung for a fight, and now they were pulsing with increased blood flow. Before I could speak, the girl swivelled to face them and gave them a glare that even sent a shiver down _my_ spine.

"Move out the way." I said from behind them. Their heads snapped around. "Are you done with this?" I asked her. She regarded me and slowly eased the scowl on her face.

"Just finishing." She stood. As I tried to pass through the men, one of them clutched his hand on my shoulder aggressively.

"Oi, oi." He growled. "It's obvious that we're using this next."

"What, it takes three of you to lift this?" I commented, looking up at them with a steely gaze. Their bravado faulted and I was positive that my own scowl could rival the girl's. Still, they didn't back down.

"Basic gym etiquette, man. We were here first."

"You said it yourself- women shouldn't be in this section, right? Then since you lot don't have a ball between you, I guess that means you should leave."

"And if you do have them..." The girl interrupted. "You'll want to keep them, right?" She was good, I'd give her that. In a split second, all three of them turned tail with a meagre sniff of annoyance. They wouldn't bother her again.

"Thanks." The girl said once they'd left. "It's good to know that not all men are dicks."

"Don't worry about it." I muttered, loading some more weight onto the machine.

**PETRA-**

_I'm going out. Be back later tonight._

This again. The tears were streaming down my cheeks before I knew it and I collapsed back onto the sofa in my own self-pity and despair. I buried my face into the sofa arm and sobbed, snivelling like a child. He didn't love me. I made his life miserable. Every day, he'd go to a job he hated- a job I'd forced him into. He'd dread coming home to me. He didn't love me at all. Yet, despite knowing this, I couldn't end it with him.

I was a horrible person.

I loved him so much. I loved waking up to his sleeping face, frown lines still apparent even when he was dreaming. I loved his clumsy morning phase where once he'd managed to knock an entire shelf down when he accidentally tripped and grabbed onto it to stable himself. I loved his strong personality, one that bowed to no one and rendered others speechless. I loved his childish side; he sometimes made immature jokes that people would miss because they were so out of character. I loved him.

And I wasn't ready to let go.

I picked myself up from the sofa and began to cook to force myself to suppress my emotions. It wasn't long before I heard the door open and jolted, spilling a pan of boiling hot water onto my hand. With a yelp of pain, I dropped the pan and its contents flooded out everywhere across the tiles. I sucked on my hand, wincing at the pain while the footsteps in the hallway grew louder.

"What happened?!" Levi asked, urgently. He span me around and saw my hand which was throbbing a vibrant, scorched red. With a tsk, he pulled me over to the sink and ran the cold tap, forcing my hand underneath. I squirmed and held in gasps of pain as the numbness crept along my skin. "Hold it under." He murmured softly, breath tickling my ear from where he stood behind me. I nodded, embarrassed. "You okay?" He asked. I nestled into his chest, enjoying the close proximity and the warmth of his skin. His smell was a little stronger than usual and I realised that he'd probably been to the gym... Maybe he hadn't been ignoring me. He did usually go to the gym after work.

Perhaps I had been too self-conscious, over thinking things.

Once he'd checked out the injury and bandaged it, Levi set about mopping the floor. He scrubbed and dried it to within an inch of its life until it gleamed brighter than new. Then, he came back over to where I sat on the sofa and dropped himself behind me.

"Does it hurt?" He gestured to my hand.

"No, thanks to you." I was lying- it hurt like hell. But, I'd be fine.

"Listen..." He began. Those words made my heart plummet. I felt my face pale as I predicted his next words, feeling a little sick. "I don't like romantic stuff so... what can we do this weekend?" _Breathe. He's still here with you. He won't leave you._

"Anniversaries are meant to be romantic." I pouted, allowing myself a small, teasing smile. "But if you really want to do something different, let's compromise." I paused to think. What would Levi enjoy? "There's a new English tea café that's opened up... want to go?" I knew he was hooked from around five words in. His eyes twinkled.

"Where?"

"I'll take you. It's expensive but it's supposed to be the real thing. Scones and cream, the lot."

"What's its hygiene rating?"

"I'll let you assess that." I giggled, snuggling into his side and tracing my fingers along his hand. He let me open and close his fingers, tickle his palm and knot my digits into his. "And then, for me, we'll spend the night at a posh hotel." I saw his brow furrow and he sniffed. After a moment, he sighed and decided to comply.

"Okay." He nodded, simply.

"And anyway..." I changed my tone into a quieter, more seductive intonation. "Have you been at the gym?" I positioned myself on my knees beside him and ran my mouth close enough to his neck to smell the sweat which had dried on him. It smelled like Levi- so much so that it drove me mad. Levi turned slightly to face me, eyes meeting mine.

"You're unusually provocative today." He said, voice huskily low. We closed the gap between us and exchanged a long, breathless kiss. About a minute later, we both parted lips to gasp for breath.

"Just say stop when you've had enough." I smiled, leaning in for round two.

**LENA-**

For once, I had nothing to do. I didn't need to baby sit today, so all that was left was to wait until it was time to pick Ema up again. I decided to go for a run and donned my trainers along with a white t-shirt and shorts. Pulling my ipod from where it was charging, I scrolled down to my favourite playlist and took my keys from the side. Locking the door behind me, I began my delightful warm up of making my way down 3 floors of stairs. This wasn't optional; it was because the lift was broken. By the end, I could feel my knees cracking in disgust but I was definitely warmed up. Now, I could begin strolling the wonderful world that was my home town.

Police sirens sang to me as I began to jog leisurely past walls artistically painted with the words 'fuck you', accompanied with a descriptive image of the well-replicated piece of art- the male anatomy. I drank in the air, coughing on the swirls of smoke circling towards the sky, and thought to myself-

What a wonderful world.

I intended to complete my usual circuit, but half an hour later, I found myself outside my friend's apartment. I felt heavy and tired, more than what was normal for a run. I wondered if it was due to lack of sleep. I came to a steady halt and paused the music on my ipod. I took my phone from a bag tied around my waist and dialled her number. In three tones, she picked up.

"Annie?"

"What's up?"  
"I'm outside your house. Are you at uni?"

"No, I'm studying."  
"Let me in?"

"I'm studying."

"I'll help."  
"What do you know about martial arts and its history?"

"There was a lot of martial arts in history. Let me in and I'll make you scones?" There was a pause...

"Okay. It's open."

I opened the front door and made my way into the lift of Annie's apartment- a lift that worked! Hallelujah. Opening the door into her vast, unshared apartment, I felt that familiar tinge of jealousy. I hadn't seen my father in a while but even if he was still around, he wouldn't be able to buy me my own rented apartment like Annie's had. We struggled on, barely making the bills while she watched TV on her screen the size of our walls. She was living the life I wanted, studying something she loved. I didn't often come to her apartment because of negative feelings like this. It made me hate my dad even more.

The girl herself hadn't even bothered to get up to greet me, so I navigated my way around the familiar layout of my friend's apartment to her room. She was sat at her desk, several text books laid out before her.

"Long time no seeee~" I cooed, scuttling behind her and hugging her. She continued writing and barely acknowledged my existence.

"I'll finish this paper whilst you make scones."

"Rodger that!" I mock saluted and headed back into her kitchen.

Now, I wasn't a good cook at all, but I had learnt a few things in my time as a café employee. Also, I often had to cook at home but putting a chicken in the oven didn't require much skill. Despite this, I was the master of scones. I gathered all the ingredients, occasionally disturbing Annie to find out their whereabouts, before starting to mix them. With practised ease, I completed the recipe and placed the scones in the oven. Annie arose from her room several minutes later and we sat on her high kitchen table, feet dangling from stools.

"How's your studying going?"

"All right... there's not long to go now. What about you?"

"Let's not talk about that." I groaned.

"You should look for a full time job and stop taking Ema to school. She'll be old enough to go alone soon."

"Mum's too worried." I sighed, knowing that I'd been saying the same thing to myself for weeks. Months, maybe.

The oven bleeped softly and I set the table in preparation, taking out the scones and filling them with jam and cream from the fridge. We both tucked in silently. Eventually, Annie looked up. I met her crystal blue eyes which gazed at me, curiously.

"What's the matter, then?" She asked. "It's rare for you to come without calling first. Something up?"

"Nothing, just visiting." I replied, feeling a ball form and harden in my throat so that I couldn't get any words out. Annie simply watched me patiently, as though waiting for me to say more. I felt my eyes begin to sting.

"Really?"

"Really." I nodded, looking away from her. Just speaking to her was opening the flood gates to my frustrations... I didn't want to bother her with my menial discussions. I tried to control my breathing, cursing myself. _Why are you crying, idiot?! _"Mrs Pembrook's dog died." I spilled out, pathetically bawling and stuffing my palms into my eyes to block the flood of tears which had begun to flow. Annie raised an eyebrow.

"And?"

"And Miss Hayes has moved in with her new boyfriend." I said, furiously rubbing at my eyes. What was I doing?! I hadn't realised I'd even been bothered by this. Stupid hormones!

"And so...?"

"I've lost two jobs in one day." I cursed, balling my hand so that my nails dug into my skin.

"Oh." Was all she said. I stood up and disappeared into her bathroom, washing my face. Once I had stop crying, I looked at myself in the mirror.

_Pathetic. You're pathetic. You scrape every pound; you work any job. What sort of a life do you lead? You're twenty, for god-sake and still leeching off your parents. Still babysitting. _

I took one more deep breath, then returned to my seat opposite Annie. She still said nothing, and I noticed in the time I'd been getting myself together, she'd helped herself to another scone.

"I'm a little stressed," I said. "don't mind me."

"Don't worry about it." Annie replied, licking cream from her thumb. "You wouldn't be human if you didn't get stressed from time to time."

"We're barely getting by as it is and now I've lost another fifteen quid of income a day."

"Find another job."  
"It's not that easy."

"Make it that easy." Annie shrugged. "Sell scones or something."

"You're the only one who eats my scones."

"I'm not paying for them if you're using my ingredients." She warned. "There are plenty of kids and dogs out there. They need looking after, too."

"... Thanks." I sighed, impressed by her rare moment of compassion in trying to console me.

"As long as you keep making me scones." She picked up the plates and took them to the sink. Before she disappeared back into her study again, she looked over her shoulder once more.

"Marry a rich man. That'll solve your problem."

"Oh yeah, because that's _so simple!_"

…

**AN:**

**Jeez, everyone's so depressed in this story. Levi hates work, Petra's has an unrequited love, Luann need to pay for her mother's treatment, Lena can't pay the bills and is forced to live a boring life...**

**Hey, at least Kurt's happy!**

**For now.**

**(Bwhahaha.) Am I a bigger troll than Isayama?**

**No. No one is a bigger troll than that man. Seriously, he killed Marco because he didn't know who he was. AND WHAT'S IN THE BASEMENT?!**

**A- I agree! People live such boring lives! Study, work, marry, kids, retire, die. People don't understand when I say I don't want kids or a husband... it'd be so much harder to travel the world if I was tied down like that.**

**And ouch, you really don't like Petra, haha! I've left some hints till now as to when the next Levi,Lena moment will be... have you spotted them? ;)**

**Foreverguest- thanks for the love! :D and yeah, I don't know why but I love Kurt. Possibly more than Lena (shush don't tell her!). He shall be more prominent in CKUT**

**MidMorningSong- OMG thanks for your last review on HTMFIL! It made my day- I love long reviews. Yes, there are a lot of loose ends in that story... I will tie a few up in this one via flash backs and drama (yey for drama), but the majority will be left for the reader's imagination. Or maybe another sequel (HAHA as if I'm so done after this one :L).**

**And to all my other reviewers- THANK YOOOU! I'm in the process of updating HTMFIL, checking grammar and such. If you were thinking of re-reading it, hold off for now until I'm done! I got a hell of a lot of abuse for my ending in HTMFIL, so I think you'll love the ending I have in store for CKUT (skips into the distance, laughing hysterically).**


	5. A Gruesome Enemy

**A Gruesome Enemy**

**LEVI-**

"_Here he is. The bastard himself." My own voice spat down at the man chained before me. His wrists were bound to the chair he was sat on, metal digging into his skin so hard that it left a raw, red mark all the way around. "Is this what you saw?"_

_The man didn't raise his head. His hair fell into his face, chin on chest, refusing to look up. "Look at me, bastard." I swore, roughly grabbing his chin and forcing it upwards. In the dank, dark room, the only sound was the dripping of water somewhere. It was freezing cold- I could feel the ice of the concrete radiating through the sole of my boot. My breath swirled before me in a hazy cloud. "I asked if this was what you saw? When you fuckin' beat your own sister, was this what you saw?" When he still didn't reply, I let go of his chin swiftly and belted him across the cheek with my fist. He grunted in pain, but still said nothing._

_I stalked around him like an vulture, absorbing the sight of blood stains cracking his shirt, dust and dirt shading his back. For the kick of it, I grabbed his hair as tightly as I could and yanked it downward so that his face glared up at the ceiling. He was gritting his teeth against the pain. _

"_Did you enjoy doing this to her as much as I'm enjoying doing it to you?" I whispered, lips so close to his ear that his hair scratched at my face. "The unfortunate thing is, my fun's over the moment you spill what you know...I'm under orders not to kill you if you help us get the information we want... understand?" After a second, I felt him pull back against my grip on his hair and I realised he was nodding. Caving so quickly? How pathetic._

"_Good." I smirked, releasing his hair. "Start talking when you're ready then."_

My eyes shot open in the darkness. I blinked, the memory of a nightmare soon escaping like water through a sieve. Taking one deep, shaky breath, I sat up. My stomach lurched and my hand shot up to my mouth.

"Levi?" Petra sat up beside me. "Are you okay?" I didn't reply, fearing that if I moved, I'd throw up. After I took a few seconds to breathe deeply, I swung my legs out of bed and made my way steadily to the bathroom. My face paled and I staggered over to the toilet, feeling the blood drain from my face making me feel light-headed. I could hear Petra's footsteps following after me as I leant forward.

I spent about five minutes, panting over the toilet seat, retching but not throwing up. Petra rubbed small circles in my back, asking me questions that I didn't want to answer. Eventually, the episode passed and I sat back on the floor, Petra shoving a glass into my hand. I allowed a drop of water onto my palette tentatively, then downed the rest of the glass.

"Are you okay now?" she asked. I nodded. "Did you eat something bad?"  
"No, I'll be fine... I need a shower." I stood up quickly, feeling filthy after being draped over the toilet for the last few minutes. Petra nodded and fetched me a towel as I began stripping. I entered the shower and heard her place a clean towel on the radiator rack for me. Through the curtain, I saw her shadow dither about.

"Do you want me to phone work and tell them you're ill?"

"I'm fine." I called, running my hands though my hair.

"If you're sure..." She murmured, eventually disappearing outside again. She popped her head back in for a second, nearly giving me a heart attack. "What do you want to eat? Are you feeling up to eating?"

"Just do the usual. I feel fine now."

"Okay." She replied, clearly unconvinced.

One long, relaxing shower later and I was feeling refreshed. Petra had definitely NOT done 'the usual' and I smelt a bowl of chicken soup awaiting me on the table. I frowned, but sat down to eat it anyway. She brought me over a large glass of water.

"Make sure you keep hydrated." She said, making me want to roll my eyes.

"I'm fine, I already said so."

She kept quiet and began getting ready for work. I finished eating and did the same, tightening my watch with one hand whilst kicking my shoes in front of me so that I could slip them on.

"I'm leaving." I called, not waiting for her reply before I shut the door.

Once I was out of her way, I spent the morning trying to recall my nightmare. It must have been bad to get me in that state. It was unusual as hell, too. What was stranger is that it wasn't the first time, either. I'd had many nightmares recently, increasing in severity. However, there was one constant factor with all of them- I couldn't remember a damn thing the next morning.

I decided not to think about it, swinging my bag onto my shoulder and beginning the long walk to work.

_Might as well text Hanji's cousin... _I thought, withdrawing my mobile from my pocket and unlocking it. With one hand, I awkwardly typed a reply.

_Are you free tonight?_

It was less than half a minute before my phone buzzed.

_Eren: Yes. What time?_

_Me: Half five ish. Where do you work?_

_Eren: I'm at college. I can meet you outside Kosta? Hanji said it was close to your work._

_Me: It is. See you there at half five._

_Eren: Thanks a lot for meeting with me. I thought I was crazy..._

I decided to ignore his last comment as I was unable to come up with a reply. He thought he was crazy? Well, we had something in common, then. Giants? 50M walls?! Of course, anyone would say I was crazy. Yet, if his world matched up with mine...

What did that mean?

I had so many burning questions, yet at the same time I felt like I didn't want to know. I wondered if he knew that girl. I wondered if he knew me- the me from another world. I couldn't remember a damn thing. All I knew was that I was living in a repeating nightmare, images of another dimension arising one after another, then fading just as fast. Sometimes, I'd completely zone out of reality and that was one of the reasons I'd stopped driving. Obviously, the first was because then I had no excuse to be late for work. The second was that I'd return home a hell of a lot faster, too. Then the third, was because of my near-miss earlier this year... Though, calling it a near-miss would be wrong. I don't know why people say that. It was a near-hit...

One that almost cost me my life.

_Clutch in, change gear, clutch out, accelerate. I repeated this until I was hitting 50 miles per hour, bang on the speed limit. There was not another soul on the road and at this time of night, you'd expect that. It was 21:00 in the winter and I was flying down an empty road leading me away from the countryside where I'd just spent the day helping Eld take photos as part of his job. It was pitch black and I was relying on my headlights and the odd street light scattered down the road. I came to a corner and allowed the car to slow a little, swerving around the sharp bend and accelerating off again._

_I sighed, knowing that I had to go into work again tomorrow morning. Early too, as it happened, because I had some sort of training that lasted all day. By the time I got home, it'd be time to go to bed. Then, in no time at all, it'd be time to drag myself to that hell hole once more. Five days a week. Every week. Every month. _

_And probably every year after that until the day I retired._

_Then. My body jolted, all the muscles in my arms and legs contracting at once in shock as an image flashed across my eyes. Suddenly, I was stood on the ground, looking up at something. Something gigantic. A trickle of drool ran off its chin as it grinned down at me, blood mingling with it to form a grotesque concoction. It chomped on something._

_A leg._

_A human leg._

_I was brought smashing back into reality- literally. Once I regained consciousness, I realised that I was at the side of the road. My car had careered off track and crashed into a tree, half of which was currently through my windscreen. I was ridiculously lucky that I was still alive, but at the time, I didn't know if I was ever going to make it home. I lifted my head from the steering wheel, feeling a trickle of warm liquid down my forehead and right shoulder. With a grunt of pain, my hand fumbled its way into my pocket and I called the first person I could think of._

"_Hanji..." I choked, ribs sore from being smacked into the steering wheel. For some reason, the air bag hadn't inflated. It didn't feel like anything was broken. _

"_Levi? What's up? Why do you sound husky? Are you seducing me?"_

"_I've crashed my car." With a stifled grunt, I sat back and inspected the damage._

"_WHAT?" A few branches through a smashed windscreen; a dented bonnet. It didn't look like I'd hit the tree too hard, thank god. In fact, the car was probably still working... If it was safe to drive with a shattered window._

"_The car still works. Can you use that big, pointless land rover of yours and tow me back?"_

"_Ah, yes! Where are you?"_

_I told her my rough location and lent my head down onto the steering wheel. I felt a little dizzy... Seconds later, I was awoken sharply by the sound of my phone ringing. Without checking the caller ID, I answered._

"_Hanji?"_

"_Levi! It's me! Are you okay?" Oh for fuck's sake. It wasn't Hanji- it was Petra._

"_Did that shitty...ah, did Hanji call you?"_

"_She said you'd crashed?! Are you okay?!"_

_Great, that was all I needed- her jumping down my throat. I tried to tell her it was only a small bump, but when I got to the apartment with a blood stained shirt (albeit a tiny smudge from a shard of glass) she went ballistic. I suppose the dried, cracking blood on my forehead didn't help either. She rushed me to A&amp;E and I didn't get a word in edgeways the whole way there. She didn't even give me time to be stubborn. When the doctor told her I was perfectly fine, she calmed down a little. A little._

I sighed at the memory. It was one of the few episodes I'd had of which I could remember the flash back. It was always giants with ridiculous expressions, grotesque faces drooling at their terrified human prey. Predators. They had the eyes of crazy predators that ate for the pleasure, not survival. It made me sick.

At the end of the day, I stood up to pack away my things. My hand paused, mid-air. _If I meet him today... Will I remember?_

_Do I want to remember?_

It turned out that the curiosity within me was stronger than fear, because at five minutes before our designated meeting time, I was hovering outside Kosta... I realised that I had no idea what this Eren guy looked like. I was simply waiting for someone college boy to turn up, asking if I knew Hanji. I repeatedly glanced up and down the street, then to my watch, then down the street again. Should I go inside?

"Levi?" Someone spoke, tentatively. I swirled in the direction of the voice and was surprised at what I saw. He had said he was in college, but he looked a lot older than I had imagined. With brown, wild hair parted in the centre of his forehead and eyes sharper than an eagle's, there was no doubt that it was Eren. I swallowed. I wasn't nervous; what was this feeling? As I watched the boy, without saying anything, I felt strange. He eyed me, expectantly.

"Ah, yeah... Eren? I mean, you're Eren?"

"Shall we go inside?" He asked. I nodded, following him into the building. He wore black, skinny jeans and large boots, coupled with what was probably marketed as a 'smart shirt', but the way he wore it screamed 'student'. It wasn't tucked in and his sleeves were messily rolled above his elbows. He wore no tie and had the uppermost buttons on his shirt undone. Placing his bag down on a table by the window, he ran one hand across his forehead and sat down.

We sat in silence, absorbed in the menus on the table until a woman came to take our orders. He ordered a hot chocolate with the full monty- whipped cream, marshmallows and chocolate powder. I simply ordered iced lemon water, knowing that if I ordered tea, there was no way it'd live up to my standards. Disappointment was the only reaction I'd ever experienced with café tea.

"This is awkward." Eren laughed, lightly. The instant he said that, I relaxed a little.

"We came to discuss our insanity. Of course it's awkward." I allowed myself a small smirk in response.

"Well, how should we start?" He asked.

"Just how much do you know?"

"...Well..." He glanced away and chewed on his lip for a second. "Do you really want to know everything?"

"That's why I'm here."

"I don't know everything, let's start with that. But, what I do know, it's like I've known it from birth. Things will remind me of the titan world. Ah, sorry, that's what I call it. The titan world." I nodded for him to continue and he did so. "I remember I had two friends, but I don't know their names. Then there are massive walls surrounding a city, which were broken. These giants who eat humans got inside. I remember fighting them... fighting as one of them, sometimes. It's confusing."

"Do you remember Hanji?"

"Hanji?!" His eyebrows shot up. "Was she in this world? I don't remember that." I shrugged.

"I don't know. I thought for a second, but maybe not." He watched me and I realised it was my turn to speak. "I know less than you, it seems. I have dreams- well, more like nightmares. And sometimes I blank out and have flashbacks."

"You weren't born with the memories?"

"No, I keep remembering more and more recently but at first, I knew nothing."

"Strange." He looked and me, like he wanted to say something but was holding back.

"What is it? Just say it."

"Ah, well..." He stammered. "Do you... remember me?"

I jolted. That feeling of foreboding... that anxiety from earlier... it solidified and I realised what it could be. Was it... familiarity? He watched me, nervously. I recognised his eyes. I couldn't remember where from but that feeling was definitely there- I knew this person.

"Do you remember me?" I fired the question straight back at him.

"I remember... Levi heichou." A dizziness engulfed me and I felt myself swaying. My forehead pulsated painfully and I stood quickly, chair clattering down behind me. _Heichou. Heichou. _"Hei- … Levi!" The boy called, but his voice became distant.

BANG.

**HANJI-**

I was on the phone to a desperate sounding Eren, who was panting incomprehensibly down the phone. "Hanji! He- he collapsed! What do I do? Hanji? Hanji! He just collapsed! He's unconscious!"

"Who is?" I asked, calmly. Getting him to speak slowly was going to be a pain.

"Levi!" My eyes shot open wide.

"You're with Levi?! He collapsed?" I heard Eren's voice get distant and muffled as he spoke to someone on the other side.

"- Levi, open your eyes... hear me?... sir... is he okay?... call an am-...-nce?"

"Eren, Eren talk to me."

"Hanji? Shall I call an ambulance?"  
"Is he breathing?" There was a pause.

"Yes."

"Has he hit his head?"

"No."

"Wait there. Keep checking for his breathing. I'm not far away anyway. Don't call an ambulance." It didn't sound serious. I knew Levi would slaughter me if I took him to hospital and got Petra worrying. I sped up slightly after hanging up the blue-tooth phone in my car, estimating how long it'd take to get to where he was. Once I arrived, Eren had laid Levi out of the floor and was surrounded by people asking questions. I pushed through and checked him over. No cuts, bruises, lumps, nothing. Still breathing. He'd just fainted. This was extremely rare for Levi, but he was known for overworking himself or abusing his body from time to time. It was highly likely that he'd simply not eaten or slept.

"Help me lift him, Eren." I said. "Don't worry, we'll take him home." I said to the surrounding people, including Kosta staff.

"Are you sure?" Someone asked, politely. "Do you need any help?"

"No, we're fine. Thanks for helping out."

We bundled Levi into the back of my land rover across the back seats, where he was already stirring as though he was waking up. Eren buckled up in the front and glanced back over his shoulder.

"What happened?" I asked, starting the engine and checking my blind spot.

"I started telling him about the titan world... and when I called him by what I used to call him, he went pale and collapsed." I took a moment to let the information sink in. I wasn't liking this 'alternate world'. It didn't sound like the type of memory I'd want to have from the sound of it. It intrigued me, nevertheless.

"I'm going to call Petra."

"Don't you dare..." A quiet voice from behind me growled, ominously. I ignored him and connected to Petra on my hands-free device. "Hanji, don't." I ignored him. As much as I knew how much of a pain in the backside Petra could be when she was worried, Levi could collapse again at any time. If it was this connection to an alternate world... if it was caused by these memories within him, it wasn't safe for him to be left alone. Petra needed to know. "Hanji!" He pleaded as the phone rang. I nearly hung up there and then from the tone of his voice. "She doesn't know about that world! She can't know! Don't tell her!"

He was begging me at this point. The dialling tone ceased and Petra answered.

"Ah, Petra. Levi collapsed. I think he's ill."

"PARDON?!"

…

**AN:**

So I've been trying to improve my grammar and I found out a common mistake people (including myself) make. You can't say, 'I felt nauseous'. Because something nauseous makes it disgusting to others. Therefore, if it was 'I felt nauseous', then you mean 'I felt like I was making others disgusted'. Dog shit is nauseating; you don't feel nauseous. The website I read it on explained it much better...

Also, to be anxious must involve fear, therefore you won't be anxious to meet your friends, because that would mean you were afraid of them. You'd be eager.

Then, moreover, the word jealousy is often misused. Envy is when you want something others have. Jealousy is different. For example, you are envious of your friend's good looks, but you're jealous when your crush is attracted to her because of those good looks. I'm sure a lot of you are writers too so I thought that I'd pass on the knowledge.

I need to be more careful with my grammar. I'm sure I make hundreds of mistakes every chapter, but I'm still learning! If you know of any other common mistakes, let me know! We don't learn grammar at school... just study Of Mice and Men... and find out that the mitochondria are the power houses of the cell.

Back to the story though. If anyone is out there who hasn't read HTMFIL (the first story), let me know because I'll start explaining more. Either in an AN, or in the actual story.

Wow, another long AN. I might reply to a few reviews in messenger instead of increasing the size of this thing...

Thanks for reading!


	6. We'll Spring High

**We'll Spring High**

I didn't tell Petra about the reason Levi had collapsed. Apparently, this fitted in well anyway because he'd been feeling sick in the morning. She put it down to illness and overworking, so I didn't need to fabricate a lie to cover up this other dimension. Now, Levi was laid out on their bed, surrounded by every cushion in the house and at least two bottles of water. She had even prepared a wet towel for his forehead as well as paracetamol, even though he didn't have a temperature. Levi was scowling at the ceiling.

"I'm thankful, but pissed off with you at the same time." He muttered once Petra had left to find the nearest Pharmacy.

"Stop looking for this alternate world, Levi." I said, bluntly. He blinked and glanced over. Whatever he was expecting from me, it definitely wasn't the serious tone I was using with him now. "From what I've gathered, Eren had always known about this world. His memories are stable. Yours, however, are not."

"It's not as simple as that." He adjusted the damp cloth on his forehead, then, with an irritated grunt, whipped it off and tossed it onto the beside table. "It's like a box where the lid is only half on. Occasionally, something will force its way out."

"I understand that, but trying to completely remove the lid is irrational and dangerous, as we've found out."

"Whatever." He curled his lip and from his irritated expression, I realised I wasn't going to get any further in this argument. Just then, Eren knocked gently on the door and peeked around.

"There's a woman at the door with a puppy...? She's asking for Petra."

**LEVI-**

A puppy? I didn't know of anyone Petra knew with a dog. Also, they would never have received prior permission to bring a dog into _this_ apartment. Not _my _apartment_._ I cast the sheets on top of me aside and Hanji didn't even bother to make me get back in bed. It wasn't like I was ill. I made my way over to the door, where a woman with blonde hair tied high into some complicated bun, adorned with plaits, greeted me with a dazzling smile.

"Is Petra here? She's expecting me." Expecting? Surely, Petra would have warned me if we had visitors. It was unlike her to invite anyone over anyway. I looked the woman up and down, and in turn, her eyes took in my appearance. I was probably not looking my best, considering the amount of creases there were in my shirt from lying down in it, added to the fact that I had wisps of hair falling into my eyes and could feel that it was stuck up slightly at the back. She made a wild guess- "Are you her boyfriend?" I nodded, to which she chewed her lip worriedly.

"Who're you?" My eyes landed on the dog cage in her hands, with a little, black puppy gnawing at the bars. It was ridiculously cute and the woman caught me staring at it.

"Ahh dear... She told me you'd be out at this time." I immediately scowled in suspicion until a familiar face appeared behind her, carrier bag in hand and a bead of sweat dripping from her chin where clearly she'd been running.

"Oh no!" Petra gasped. "I forgot! With all the mayhem, I forgot!"

"Petra! Have I ruined it?" The woman greeted her, whilst smiling apologetically. I was confused and I made sure that my expression showed it. Petra drew her eyebrows together and sighed.

"Happy anniversary!" Petra forced an exasperated smile, taking the cage from the hands of the woman gently and handing it to me.

Handing it to me?

A dog? She was giving me a dog? 'Happy anniversary'...

She was giving me a dog?!

My mouth hung open as she held the cage out to me and I laid eyes on the puppy inside. I vaguely heard the woman say, "I'll leave you two to get acquainted whilst I get his stuff." but I really wasn't listening. I grasped the cage from Petra and held it up to look inside, staring in awe at the little dog scrambling around. It furiously head butted and chewed the metal bars, teeth like needles. It made a small whine of frustration.

Shit.

It was cute.

Petra giggled as I lowered the cage and walked back inside, holding the box to my chest. She shut the door quietly and leant against the wall to watch. Damn that woman. She knew that dogs were like kryptonite to me. I set the box down in the middle of the carpeted floor and laid on my stomach so that I was gazing straight at it. The puppy shied away, scampering to the back of its cage before running back forward to continue chewing the bars. I poked one finger through the mesh, looking at its brown eyebrows and cheeks.

It nibbled my finger. I withstood the pain for as long as I dared, before withdrawing my finger.

"Do you like him?" Petra asked.

"We're having a dog?" I replied in tones that indicated quite the opposite.

"He's all yours." She smiled as I rolled over to meet her eyes. "I know you hate a dirty apartment... but I also know that you love dogs. So, as long as we can house train it, I thought you'd like him."

"What's his name?" I asked, still stunned. I fucking loved the adorable bundle of fluff already, but at the same time, I didn't think we could keep it. I heard it whine behind me again, struggling to get out.

"He doesn't have one."

"... We can't train it. We're both out all day."

"I've called a girl to walk it during the day and you've got a week long holiday coming up."

"I can't train it in a week."

"You don't have to. They're easy to train."  
"What type is it?"

"Doberman Pinscher." Internally, I wanted to open the cage. On the outside, I frowned at her. This wasn't a good idea, as much as the damn thing's face was persuading me otherwise. "It's a present. No returns."

"It's going to ruin the flat."

"Not if we train him."

"It'll leave dog hairs everywhere."

"Levi, just accept the damn thing." Petra chuckled as the door opened and the woman returned, arms full with bags. Hanji, who I hadn't even seen leave, returned with a dog bed in her arms. I thought- hard. The cogs in my brain clunked around and around until I came to a decision. "It will be fine, Levi. We can train it and I'm sure you'll exercise it a lot."

"Don't call him 'it'." I interrupted and all eyes in the room fell on me. "He's called Kola."

"I knew you'd like him." Petra smiled broadly as I went back to pushing my fingers through the bars of the cage.

**LUANN-**

"That was the last time I'll ever meet with you. Goodbye."

"Bitch! Don't you dare-" The line went dead as I hung up and returned my phone to my pocket. Another failed meeting. I'd been talking to the vile man for around three weeks, working my way into his head and endeavouring further into his perverted thoughts. In the end, however, he didn't have the connections I'd heard of. Apparently, he was the brother of the head of our company. I had thought if I got closer to him, I could strike the goal with his brother. I'd long since abandoned my morals, anyway. However, it turned out they shared the same surname and that was all. So I cut ties with him.

Which was turning out to be harder than I had imagined.

I was currently walking down the high-street after having strode out of the restaurant we had met in. I'd told him that I wanted to cease all communication with him, and had hoped that was that. Yet, there it was again. The vibration of an incoming phone call in my pocket letting me know that I was not yet off the hook. I'd also made the mistake of letting him pick me up from my house a few times and drive me to work, so I guessed that I'd have to sleep at Kurt's once more. The vibrating stopped, then restarted.

"Oh for god's sake." I grunted, answering the call. "What?!"

"Where are you?!" He demanded. "We're not done."

"We are."

"I'm driving to your house. We aren't done talking. Tell me why we're breaking up."  
"I'm not interested in you."  
"Then what about yesterday when you were all over me?"

"I'm bored."

"So quickly?" He scoffed. "What are you after?"

"I've found another man." I lied, reeling off another clichéd excuse to get him to hang up. He seemed to have no desire to do so.

"You're a fickle bitch. I'm looking for you. Where are you?"  
"I've told you!" I yelled, getting irritated. "This is the end! Get over yourself!"

"I swear to go- oh. Look who I've found." He laughed, bitterly. The phone line cut off and a car on the other side of the road turned quickly down the road in front of me. I stopped dead as it pulled up and the blasted man leapt out of his car. I span around, shoulders shaking a little. My legs wanted to run and I quickly strode in the opposite direction. My fingers fumbled on my phone and dialled a familiar number.

"I'm busy," came Kurt's voice down the line. "and no, you can't sleep here."

"Kurt, c-can you pick me up?" He seemed to spot the stutter in my voice and paused on the other end of the line.

"What's wrong?"

"Turn around, you bitch!" The man spat, suddenly behind me. I gasped in shock as he aggressively grabbed my arm and pulled me towards his car.

"Hey, Luann! What's going on?!" Kurt's panicked voice came from the tiny speaker pressed close to my ear.

"Kurt! I'm on the high street where McRonald's is!"

"I'm coming!" He replied and I heard a clatter of objects as he stumbled around his apartment.

"Is this your new man?!" Nails dug into my skin and I yelped, suddenly scared. I was regretting ever making contact with this man. He was disgusting. Violent. Scary. He snatched the phone from me and bellowed into the receiver. "Are you the slag's new man, ey?"

"I'm her original man and if you fuckin' touch her-" I struggled in his grip and he eventually let go.

"You played me, cow. I won't forgive you for that."

"Leave me alone!" I yelled, standing my ground.

"Gladly. I thought you were a decent lass." He scoffed, throwing my phone back at me. I floundered to grab it. "You're just another slag."

With that, he stormed back towards his car, slammed the door and drove off.

I breathed deeply, regaining the strength in my legs. I heard a muffled yelling and placed the receiver back to my ear.

"-I swear I'll rip your balls off one by-"

"-Kurt!" I interrupted. "He's gone, it's okay!"

"He's gone? Good. Are you okay? I'm on my way."

"Thanks but I can go home alone now."  
"Don't be stupid. You're staying at my house tonight."

"I can't; I've got training at work tomorrow."

"We'll order a Chinese."

"... Fine, come pick me up."

"At least _try_ to sound like you give a shit about manners."

"What was that about you being my original man?" I teased. I could imagine his face right now, burning red in embarrassment.

"I'm like your brother! We've been together for years!"

"You're more like a sister though."

"Thanks for adding to my masculinity complex." He sniffed.

"You're welcome. You did manage to sound like you had a hint of courage earlier though, swearing about balls and that. It was very unlike you."

"Like I said, I'm so grateful for your praise."

"A new Joan of Arc."

"Shut up. I'm a man, not a woman."

Later on, I snuggled into his sofa, a hot water bottle that he'd made for me clasped against my chest. I enjoyed the warmth spreading through my clothes to my bare skin. Kurt sighed for the hundredth time and circled the sofa once more.

"What?" I grunted at him. "You're like a vulture, stay still." He blew through his pursed lips once again and dropped onto the seat opposite me.

"You really need to stop meeting with guys."  
"I'll leave then." I said, pretending to stand. He rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean." Kurt chewed his fingernail and sighed again. I gritted my teeth- he was beginning to irritate me.

"Why d'you keep sighing?"

"Nothing."

"Then stop sighing."

We shared a further few minutes of silence whilst he fidgeted, before another exasperated grunt escaped his lips. Immediately, I sat up and glared at him, to which he raised his hands apologetically.

"Either tell me what's up, or get out of my face. I can't stand your fiddling."  
"This is my house. If you don't like it, get out yourself."

"You invited me. That's a rude thing to say to your guest."

"Luann." He complained. Clearly, he'd had enough of arguing for tonight.

"Okay, okay." I sniffed, shuffling back into the sofa to make myself comfy. A buzzing sound signalled the arrival of our food, and Kurt quickly left to get it.

Once I'd eaten, I felt myself begin to drift off to sleep. The warmth of the hot-water bottle (and now the blanket Kurt had just thrown me), coupled with the pleasure of a full stomach made my eyes heavy. It wasn't long until I was breathing softly into the cushion, succumbing slowly to a feeling of paralysis as the outer world left me. I vaguely felt a presence before me, and then I was lifted gently into the air. Without thinking much about it, I realised that Kurt must be carrying me to his bed so he would sleep on the air bed again. He jiggled me awkwardly as I guessed that he was moving the quilt, before laying me down and covering me. I felt myself waking up and paying more attention to my surroundings, but in an attempt to stay on the verge of sleep, I kept still.

"Good night, Luann." He whispered softly just before the click of the door sounded.

"Mmph..." I responded, half-heartedly.

…

_BUZZ BUZZ_

"Oh my goooodd..." I groaned, turning over to silence the alarm that Kurt had set again. I set it onto sleep and cuddled back into the sheets again. Just as I felt myself dozing off-

_BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ_

"What the hell?!" I complained, rubbing my eyes and sitting up. I read the screen labelled 'GET UP' in capital letters. It looked like he had set the alarm onto snooze, which was probably healthier for my career, but now I'd been woken up twice and I felt decidedly irritated to say the least. I wanted to crawl back into the comfy duvet that had a slight tinge of Kurt's smell to it, but instead I forced myself to roll over and pick up the first of what I assumed would be many post-it notes.

_This is the last time, idiot. Dinner in the fridge. Breakfast cereal in the cupboard. Spare key under the mat. _

Followed shortly by a list of a million other things he felt like reminding me of. I left the bedroom half dressed to get breakfast, but stopped dead in my tracks.

Before me, sprawled out on the floor unconscious, was Kurt. He had collapsed awkwardly near the sofa, with glittering shards of glass scattered around him where a vase had been knocked over. My heart leapt into my throat and I let out a startled yelp.

"K-Kurt!" Dashing to his side and turning him onto his back, I pressed my head against his chest. I heard a thud as his heart beat, then his chest rose to push against my cheek. "Kurt! Can you hear me?!" This had happened before. This had happened a few times, actually. Kurt had a habit of zoning out and sometimes, he'd collapse. My hands shook slightly as I tapped his shoulders, calling his name. No matter how many times I told him to go to the doctors, he'd always say there was no point. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong. "Kurt! Open your eyes! What do I do?! Kurt!"

"Nmpph..." He grunted, eyelids fluttering. I sat upright, hands tugging at my hair as he woke up. A sense of relief flooded through me.

"KURT! You need to go to the doctors about this!" I commanded, voice shaking despite how hard I tried to insert authority into my tones. He opened his eyes fully and looked at me, a look of shock dawning on his features.

"You..." He murmured. "You're alive..." He said. For a moment, he closed his eyes again like he was regaining his cognitions. Once he'd fully woken up, he sat up and rubbed the back of his head. "Ouch, I slept strange... my head hurts. Must have rolled off the sofa! Man, what a nightmare." He joked. When I didn't respond, he glanced at me. I hit him on the arm.

"You fucking..." I hit him again and he winced. "Go to the doctor."

"I was just asleep-!"  
"Don't lie to me, shit-head! You're fully clothed, for one!"

"Luann!"

"And what was that whole 'you're alive' thing?! Have you lost your fucking mind as well?!"

"Luann, calm down!"

"I didn't know what the fuck to do, shit-head!" I cursed again. "What are you going to do if I have a heart attack from the stress?!"

"Like I said, I just fell-"

"AHH!" I tore at my hair, shaking my head violently. "You irritate me so much!"

"I'm sorry!" He said, raising his hands in the air. "Sorry."

I grunted in reply, storming back into his room and shutting the door. "Fucking men!" I cursed once more, making sure he heard me.

**AN:**

**Dedicated to the fact that Isayama said that Levi likes dogs (supposedly). I need to put some more Guthrie in soon... I've gotten too obsessed with Kurt because he's a fucking night in shining (and slightly mum-like) armour!**

**MidMorningSong**

**Indeed, flashbacks! Hehe. Yes, Levi's memories scare him... I mean, imagine if you woke up one morning and remembered that 'oh yeah, I killed someone' or 'oh yeah, I forgot, these giants tried to eat me alive'... *shivers ***

**Allora22701**

**Sorry for pouring out my troubles into my characters (bows). But I will continue to make their lives hell, sorry;) Well, at least there's an ickle, cutsie puppy, no?!**

**And yes! Get through the stage of limbo! Get through it so that you can read the next chapter of SNK! If you're ever sad and you haven't watched SNK Abridged, I recommend you find it. I was in stitches and now I've watched it nine times.**

**Anyway, be happy!**

**Evayld Yamazaki-**

**Nope, it definitely doesn't suit Levi, does it? Such a boring life we live, eh? I'll spice it up for him :D**

**Indeed! SINGLES UNITE! (background sparkles)**

**OrangeWithAfro**

**No it certainly isn't bad from my perspective. Keep shipping them, haha! More Levi x Lena to come! Love you, too!**

**Nuts**

**I didn't do that because: **

**A) it's not really a LevixPetra story... I don't know if you read HTMFIL or if you're picking up on the spoilers I'm leaving, but without wanting to directly give it away, it will be a LevixOC story. The Petra moments add to the storyline:)**

**B) That would spoil it for people who read HTMFIL as I wanted them to be like WHAT PETRA AND LEVI ARE TOGETHER NOO**

**C) It would mislead Rivetra fans into reading this fanfic and they'd get very disappointed later on:)**

**So I understand what you mean, but later on maybe you'll see why I didn't put that:D**

**ForeverGuest**

**Yey for nice reviews! You made my day so I'm glad I made yours. Hope you like the latest chapter, too!**

**Phew, another long AN. Love you all for reviewing! Keep up the good work;)**


	7. Two Steel Blades

**Two Steel Blades**

**LENA-**

"Mrs Amistad has had a heart attack." Historia said. "She won't be coming in to work for a while."

My mouth gaped open and I felt my heart sink. That lovely old woman?! How sad! The owner of the small café that I worked was called Mrs Amistad and she lived alone above her workplace in a compact apartment. She thought of her employees as her children, devoting the upper most care and attention to us all. I had arrived at work five minutes before, wondering why I hadn't been greeted by the frail, old woman yet. Historia cast her eyes downwards to shake her head, sadly.

"Her grandson is taking over the business whilst she recovers with family."

"We need to get her something." I replied, coming up with a list of things she'd like in my head. She adored traditional, British things, which is probably why she set up a small tea shop, decorated with Union Flags and landscape paintings of the countryside. She often quoted Shakespeare and she had a mountain of old books by Charles Dickens and such. Everything that was typically British, she loved. She herself was born in Germany, however. Though, she had spent the majority of her childhood in England and often delighted in telling us about it over a small cup of Earl Grey tea.

"Of course. Ava has already started making a list."

I nodded, donning my uniform of a long sleeved black shirt and skirt, before tying the white apron around my waist and dropping a notebook into the front pouch. I swiftly knotted my hair up into a bun and gripped it into place.

"You're out front today." Ymir appeared from behind Christa and said. I nodded, relieved. After my disaster at the counter the other day, I needed a break from my horrendous counting skills. I would never have made a mathematician.

"Who with?" I asked.

"Ava."

I smiled as I placed my bag into the locker and slid my feet into a pair of tiny heels. Right on cue, Ava bounced through the door with a broad grin on her face.

"How about a pocket watch?!" She said excitedly. "A wind up pocket watch?"

"Sounds great!" Historia and I chorused. Ymir shrugged.

"Whatever's fine. She'd start wailing even if we gave her a pile of horse shit."

"Language, Ymir." Historia pouted at her. Ymir simply showed her teeth and pulled Historia to her side.

"You know what I mean. The old hag always says it's the thought that counts."

"She'd love anything but I think that a pocket watch is a great idea. Do you know anywhere that sells them?"

"I've been on the internet looking but wind-up ones are all quite expensive."

"I bet there'll be one in one of those independent stores at The Headway."

"I'll have a look while I'm on break." Ava nodded.

"You two better get out front." Ymir interrupted. "It's opening time in two minutes."

It reached twelve o'clock and the day had gone without a hitch. The shop hadn't been very busy yet, as it often wasn't in the mornings. Many of our regular visitors had asked to see Mrs Amistad, and then passed on their best wishes after we told them the news. Things started to go wrong from then onwards, as the grandson of the delightful Mrs Amistad entered the shop to introduce himself.

And he turned out to be quite an arse.

…

**LEVI-**

Petra linked her arm in mine as she directed me down the high-street. She rambled on about how over the moon she was with my gift to her (some ridiculously expensive necklace that Hanji had pointed out for me), and how excited she was about today's date. From her words, I gathered that she was most excited for the evening part of our date. Which was to be expected- she wasn't half as interested in tea as I was. For me, that was the part I was least looking forward to.

We'd left the dog in the hands of Hanji for today.

We'd probably return to find the dissected remains of a puppy, or she'd have conditioned a fear of underwear into it, for gods sake. I wasn't exactly at ease with this arrangement.

Petra loosened her grip on my arm and instead pulled me by the hand towards a square of shops before us. The shops stood side by side with occasional archways between shops that allowed you to walk inside the courtyard. She took me through one of these archways past an old-fashioned sweet shop, onwards to a café decorated with Union Jack buntings. Petra let got of my arm and held the door out for me.

"Cute, isn't it?!" She commented as I took in the outward appearance of the little, old fashioned store. Even the lamppost outside was fashioned to look old- a lantern atop a black, shiny pole. I smiled slightly and took a step forward to walk through the door.

"Aish!" Someone said as we banged shoulders. Just as I had started to walk into the shop, he had decided to try rushing past me. I looked up at the man, expecting him to apologise. He stopped and glanced over his shoulder at me. "Look where you're going." He huffed, continuing inside.

My eyes darkened several shades and I glared daggers at his back. Petra jolted and nervously made an attempt to calm me, encouraging me inside, but that was it now. He was on my Black List and I'd be in a bad mood for at least the next hour.

However, for her sake, I tried to push my irritation into the back of my mind as she showed me to a table. We sat down on the wooden chairs atop little Union Flag cushions. The shop's interior was bordering along the line of tacky but cute, with a comfy feel to it rather than a cheap one. My eyes involuntarily darted over to the man who'd waltzed straight up to the counter. I could hear his obnoxious voice from here, but I chose to ignore it.

"What do you think?" Petra beamed at me, blinking her eyes. After a second, I realised that she was wearing much more mascara today than usual. It coated her top and bottom lashes.

"Doesn't it hurt your eyes?" I asked. She chuckled a little.

"I meant about the shop."

"I haven't tasted the tea yet. It could be shit." I grunted, bluntly. Petra put a flustered finger over her lip and hushed me.

"Don't say that so loud! The staff will be offended."

"If it's shit, it's shit." I replied, opening the menu. My eyes drifted down the cursive print until I landed on what I was looking for. I showed Petra and she nodded. Being more of a coffee person, she was going to hate whatever they served her with. I felt the presence of a waitress behind me and Petra rose her eyes to look up.

"Are you ready to order?" A female voice asked, politely. I glanced up at her as she bent down next to us.

My words jammed in my mouth. Everything that I was about to say drained out of me onto the floor and I stared in shock. She looked up from her prepared notepad, wondering why I hadn't said anything and our eyes met. I found myself lost in those eyes.

"Ah, the Traditional Tea set for 2, please." Petra replied for me and the woman smiled at her, writing it down. I kept my gaze fixed on her without blinking. Without moving. Without breathing. Her chocolate brown eyes captured me and suddenly I felt chained to my seat. I couldn't move. I couldn't avert my gaze. She gave me a warm feeling inside- a warm, nostalgic sensation that I couldn't objectively explain. At the same time, my chest felt tight with dread.

It was that person again.

"Anything else?" She asked with that classic waitress smile.  
"Was that everything, Levi?" Petra asked. It took me a second to react, but I still kept my eyes on the girl. I felt like if I looked away for a second, she'd vanish.

"Uh, yeah... that's all." Curiously, the girl looked across at me. I read her name tag and gulped, and indescribable yearning sensation arising in my chest. _Lena. _She was just about to turn and leave but I stopped her quickly- "Ah, excuse me. Do I know you from somewhere?"

**LENA-**

"Do I know you from somewhere?" The man asked. I stopped abruptly and span around. For the first time, I took a good look at his face and raised a curious eyebrow. I didn't recognise him at all, but he was incredibly attractive. He was sat with another girl, which immediately put him off limits... unless they were work colleagues or something.

I scanned his eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking whilst simultaneously attempting to pinpoint his face to any past memories I had. Nothing came up. His dark, grey eyes bored into mine and a wave of tingles ran up my spine. He had a scary kind of look to him... well, to explain it better, it was more of an authoritative aura. He didn't look like he was about to bite my head off, but at the same time, I wouldn't want to say a bad word against him. He was short in stature and was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, with a casual-style deep blue suit jacket hung over the back of his chair. His jeans were tucked in at the bottom to a pair of large, black boots.

"I don't think so." I replied. His eyes lowered slightly, as though disappointed, but immediately afterwards he smiled politely and apologised for the mistake. I nodded and headed back to the kitchen. I could still feel his eyes on me as I walked away.

Once I'd passed on the order, I grabbed Ava by the arm.  
"I've just served a really, _really _attractive guy!" I whispered, loudly. Her eyes sparkled.

"Where?"

"Sat next to the window. I think he's got a girlfriend though." Ava peeked out behind the door and then rushed back to me, whistling.  
"Well, it might not be his girlfriend." She said.

"Of course it's his girlfriend. Look at that calibre of a man! He must work out. A guy like that is hard to find nowadays. Guthrie still plays computer games, for God's Sake." Ava giggled.

"Shame," Ava tutted. "He's not my type though."

"You don't have a type. Stay away from men, you innocent little lamb. I'll protect you from those demons." She giggled again and left to serve another customer. Once the tea set was ready, I hastily carried the tray back to their table, pasting on my best smile.

"Traditional Tea set for two!" I beamed, lowering the tray and removing the separate parts. I felt his eyes on me, following me. Had I really never met this person? His behaviour was saying different.

"Thank you." He muttered, helping me remove the tea set.

"You're welcome." I scuttled back to the kitchen to fetch the rest of the set, this time handing him plates and cutlery. "Here you go." The final time, I took the large tower of cakes and scones, placing it directly in the centre of the table. The girl made a pleased 'ooh' and clapped her hands together.

"Thanks a lot!" She smiled and I realised (with guilt) that I'd practically ignored her whilst serving. Not in a noticeable way... I hoped. Just as I was heading back towards the kitchen again, that arsehole (who, as of yet, I didn't know was an arsehole), stopped me. He looked irritated, but then again, he had done when he had introduced himself earlier.

"What the hell was that?" He spat at me and I jolted. I wasn't expecting to be told off in front of customers. I looked past him as if to indicate that others were present, but he pushed his shoulders back intimidatingly and continued scolding me. "It took you at least five minutes to serve one customer!" He scoffed. I decided to listen to his rant and play innocent, rather than fight back (which my instincts initially wanted to do). "When serving something like this, you can't take one thing out at a time!"

"We're short on staff, sir, and Ava was attending to another customer."

"Don't chat back to me!" He raised his voice and in such as small shop, his words reverberated right through to the kitchen. Ava poked her head around the door and widened her eyes. "There's plenty of other staff. You either serve the whole thing together, or you don't serve it at all. Do you understand?"  
"Yes sir. Sorry sir."

"And another thing." He continued, stepping closer and leaning over me. His height was forcing me back into my heels as I looked up at him, but I refused to back down. I held his hard, brown eyes with dignity, which I could tell he despised. "Your appearance is a sham. Your hair is falling out all over the place. A bun should be tight and neat. What are you going to do if your hair falls in the customer's drinks?"

"Sorry sir."

"Just because I'm a new manager here, that doesn't mean you can let standards slip. Or were my grandmother's standards always so low?" Something snapped inside me.  
"Pardon?" I asked, dangerously. I said it in such a way that it clearly said, 'never say that again', rather than its literal meaning.

"Don't chat back!" He scolded, raising a hand and pointing at me to emphasise his words.

"Oi," a new, low, thunderous voice chimed in from behind me, "don't you think you're taking this too far?" It said. The manager's eyes flickered behind me and I turned to see that the man from earlier had stood up from his seat. His stature was small, but incredibly threatening right now. I stepped back a little.

"Pardon?" The manager spat, indignantly.

"In front of your customers... aren't you the one with low standards?" He spoke again. In my head, I was secretly rooting for him. Externally, I looked between them to see what would happen. _Fight, fight, fight._

"Of course, sir." The manager swallowed his words bitterly and decided not to show himself up in front of the other people in the shop. All eyes were on us. "I'll take her elsewhere. Come on." He grabbed my arm and dragged me into the kitchen. I glanced back over my shoulder to the stranger that had helped me. He looked like he wanted to interfere again, but the girl with him laid one hand on his shoulder and he decided to let it go. I mouthed- _thank you, _smiling at him. His eyes softened and he smiled back, weakly. Then, I was pulled out of sight and the yelling continued.

I was going to hate this dick head.

From then on, the day didn't improve much. The interesting stranger had disappeared and the rest of the time, I was on edge, making sure I was doing everything perfectly. I just knew that if I was shouted at one more time, I'd go ballistic and get fired. I couldn't afford to be fired.

By the time my shift ended at four, I was exhausted. I walked with Ava to the bus stop, listening to her talk happily about random topics. She asked me how Kurt and Guthrie were, suggesting that we met up together soon. I made vague comments in return until the bus arrived and we both got on. I decided to check my phone once we'd both sat down, rummaging in my bag whilst Ava admired the new pocket watch we'd bought together on our break. I had a few messages.

_Unknown_

_Hello, it's me. We were on the phone yesterday. Can you dog sit for us next week? Thanks a lotxx_

I replied that I'd be happy to and sent her my available times and charges. Then, I opened the group chat with my friends:

_Steinster- look what I got_

_[image received]_

_ \- wot is it? tickets?_

_Steinster- as if you haven't heard of Breaking the Ice_

_Steinster- go back to your video games_

_ \- is it a new film?_

_Steinster- it's only the greatest rock band of this century_

_ \- ive not heard of them_

_Steinster- youve not heard of much_

_Luannisfabulous- Wow really?! Jealous!_

_Steinster- whats with your name haha_

_Luannisfabulous- Luann changed it and I don't know how to get it back_

_Steinster- thats dangerous_

_Steinster- change it quick before lena sees_

_Steinster- anyway youll all love me because I got us each a ticket_

_ \- I dont want one _

_simba- LET'S GOOOOO!_

_simba- And Kurt, change it NOW._

_ \- I'll come_

_Steinster- guth I can read you like one of those magazines you hide under your bed_

_simba- … Let's leave it at that._

I smiled to myself and put my phone back in my bag. I took the pocket watch from Ava and examined it.

"It really is beautiful. I wouldn't mind one." I commented, turning it in my fingers without touching the glass front.

"I hope she'll like it."

"I'm sure she will."

We descended back into a comfortable silence again and my thoughts drifted away to the man from earlier. He was interesting, to say the least. A man who helps a woman in need. I smiled to myself. He could still be the world's biggest player, though. You never know- the attractive ones always have personality issues.

**AN: I thought my computer had died oh my lord I was so stressed. It came up that it had a profile corruption and I was just- AHHH MY FANFICSSSSS! Salvaged it though. For now.**

**So. Lena and Levi finally met! Are you happy now?! But this short and fleeting encounter... it won't change anything, will it?**

**Nuts- **

**That'd be like a love square omg so complicated... I like it. But no, she's single. And you'll have to wait and see how they get together. Maybe they never will. Maybe Lena will be abducted by aliens and the story will end as a sci-fi tragedy. Who knows (well, obviously I do but my lips are sealed).**

**TrueMadHatter- Thank yoooou! Thanks for the compliment! **

**Don't forget to review;)**


	8. Our Wings

**PETRA-**

I wriggled uncomfortably in the passenger seat of Levi's jet black Audi, casting him glances surreptitiously as he focussed on the road. There were a few underlying reasons why I felt uncomfortable. The first was the fact that I was wearing underwear that was a little... daring. I'd moved away from my usual granny pants for tonight only- it was pretty clear why. The second was that ever since the café, Levi had been in a daze and had barely noticed me. His eyes were glazed over and when he did speak, he'd pause as though he'd forgotten what he was saying. I wanted today to be the day where his eyes were on me and only me; I wanted his full attention, which was incredibly hard to obtain usually. The third reason was the side of me I hated surfacing into my conscience; jealousy. I suspected him, and that made my stomach twist. I couldn't shake from my mind how he'd looked at the waitress earlier. It was a bit unusual for Levi to give another human a second glance- scratch that, it was down right rare. He never spared a thought for anyone unless they gave him reason to, but this girl had captured his gaze right until the moment we left and even now, he seemed out of it. He'd even helped her where usually it was his motto to not get involved in other people's business.

Maybe he was thinking about her now.

I shook my head viciously, hating myself for the thoughts I was having. I wasn't a jealous type of person. Levi and I had been dating now for a while; he was a loyal man. I shouldn't doubt him. I decided to ask him a few questions to try and shake the suspicions from my brain.

"You said you recognised that girl from earlier. Have you figured out where yet?" I smiled and he blinked in surprise as I broke his chain of thoughts. I watched his arm reach out near my leg to change gear, his masculine hand draped over the top and smoothly clicked it into place. I was being overly aware of him, of his every movement. He had the hands of a pianist. My own fingernails were probably dirtier than his. Probably because I didn't scrub them to death every morning and evening.

"It's probably nothing. Maybe a training course from a while back."

Liar.

My own thoughts shocked me and I briskly continued talking to drown out the voice in my head. "You helped her out. That was unusual for you."

"Not really." He sniffed, briefly taking his hand off the wheel to scratch his cheek.

"And you watched her quite a bit, I noticed." At this point, Levi glanced at me, frowning. He clicked that something was up and hesitantly opened his mouth to respond.

"Are you..." He thought better of it and closed his mouth again, keeping his eyes on the road. It seemed he wasn't going to finish that sentence.

"Jealous?" I finished it for him. "I suppose I am." His eyes widened a little. I thought back to the last time we had argued... it was months ago now. Our last major argument was over something ridiculous and I hadn't spoken to him for a full day, even though it was a weekend and we were both in the house. If I recalled, it was because I had invited my parents round for dinner without telling him and then shouted at him for being antisocial and too blunt around them. He had sworn around them, for god's sake! My parents had brought me up like a nun- if they knew I was dating a guy like Levi, they'd kidnap me, lock me in a cellar and throw salt at me! Levi had then gone on to shout back, complaining that I'd invited them to _his_ apartment without his permission and then complained when he'd acted himself. His exact words were, "If my personality is such a problem then you can always take your damn hair grips that you leave everywhere and fuck off!". After he had said that, it was clear that he regretted it, but I made a pact with myself to pout for the rest of the day.

"I guess I am jealous." I continued, feeling the box of bitterness I'd pushed away begin to open. "Jealous that you barely looked at me in that café because your eyes were all over that other woman. Even now, you're not talking to me."

"Wha-" He snorted and then forced his mouth shut, trying not to start an argument.

"I know that you don't like anniversaries, but I thought you'd try for me."

"What the fuck am I doing right now?" He growled through gritted teeth. "I'm driving you to a fucking expensive hotel that _you_ chose so we can fucking spend the night together? Is that not enough?" My mouth gaped open.

"You make it out like you don't want to spend time with me?" I muttered quietly, daring him to shout back. He forced his lips closed and I knew that look- he wasn't going to say a word. He wasn't an argumentative type, especially over mundane or emotional things like this. So, he'd always zip his lips closed and refused to reply to my yelling. "So you don't?" He didn't reply.

I was fuming and on the verge of tears at the same time. I swallowed and folded my arms, looking out of the window. I hated when he was like this. I hated when _I _was like this. Part of me wanted to apologise and cuddle up to him, to keep up the façade I'd constructed and carry on regardless. Another part of me wanted to force him to stop the car and drag an apology out of him. I wanted him to know how much I was hurting.

How much I'd been hurting for the last three years.

I did neither. In the end, he continued driving with a sour expression, and I furiously and silently scrubbed at my eyes, not looking in his direction. I felt him occasionally glance over at me, but neither of us initiated an apology. Or even a conversation. I knew deep down that I'd be the first one to throw in the towel and say sorry- I always was. I noticed that his driving had become slightly more aggressive and rushed, and he grunted at every little thing. This was different to last time. This time it felt like I'd crossed a line I couldn't return from. I'd accused him of eyeing up another woman; no amount of apologising was going to heal that scar on our relationship.

Already I was beginning to feel a growing sense of regret in the pit of my stomach.

We arrived at the hotel and Levi stormed out of the car ahead of me, not waiting for me as he strode up to the counter. By the time I'd caught up, he'd sorted the booking and got the key. He was already heading back for the bags. I turned mid-step to follow, but he sensed me and muttered over his shoulder-

"I'll get yours." I paused and sighed. Even when he was angry, he was a gentleman. It reminded me of the first few weeks of our relationship when he'd been on egg-shells, muttering polite responses and opening doors for me as if he didn't know how to relax. He thought I'd leave him if I knew how much of a grumpy, unsociable arse he was. He didn't know how to act in a relationship and it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. Eventually, I'd confronted him and told him to relax. He'd dropped a few of his tendencies but a lot still remained.

I waited for him to return and he did so, one large bag in each arm as though my over-packed luggage weighed less than a handbag. I followed him up the stairs, which again made me giggle against my will. Never the lift. Always the stairs.

He was such a creature of habit.

"Which floor are we on?" I asked, timidly. I was surprised that he had heard me. Or maybe he had just guessed.

"3rd." He replied, heaving the bags up yet another flight of stairs.

It was the first time we'd spoken in about half an hour. Even such a small, menial exchange made me nervous. We reached the third floor and he set down the bags in front of a door to unlock it. Once he'd fumbled with the key, we shuffled inside.

I tried to numb down my feeling of awe. He'd definitely chosen a beautiful place. Pristine white walls with features and accessories in a bronze-gold. Everything was perfectly positioned and looked elegant. The huge room was a combination of a living room, bedroom and kitchen, with a small door leading off to what I expected was a bathroom. The entire expanse flashed 'expensive' at me. My eyes were practically sparkling at the huge, comfy looking bed positioned in the centre of the room. When I put down my bag and heard a glug, I beamed- it was a water bed. I was pissed but at the same time, I wanted to hug him.

Swallowing my grin, I turned to face him. He was watching me with a peculiar expression, and when I caught his eyes he looked away. He dragged his eyes back to meet mine and sighed heavily.

"Petra..." He began.  
"I'm sorry." I interrupted. "I got jealous. I hate that side of me. I'm a bit moody recently and it just came out... I'm sorry." He regarded me, eyes roaming from my pupils down to my toes, then back up again.

"I didn't realise you thought that way; it's my fault for not being sensitive."

"Let's just say it's a draw and leave it at that." I forced a smile. He nodded. The silence that ensued was uncomfortable as he kept his eyes on me.

"You're not okay with it, are you?"

"I'm fine."

"I genuinely was only watching that woman out of curiosity. I thought I knew her."

"I know."

"I wouldn't ever cheat on you." He affirmed again. I knew he wouldn't. I knew what type of a man he was.

"I know." I said again, trying to assert more confidence into my words. He huffed again and ran a hand through his bangs.

"Anyway." He shrugged it off and unzipped his bag. He delved inside and pulled out a bottle in each hand. "You up for a drink?" He asked.

"The hotel has room service." I laughed. "Why did you pack alcohol?"

"Hell am I paying those prices." He grunted, placing the bottles on the dark, coffee brown table and rifling through the cupboards to find some wine glasses. I giggled at him.

Truly a creature of habit.

**HANJI-**

"And so I decided to look at it under a TEM microscope, you know, to see it. But the problem is that requires a dead sample and I need to see it alive. Which leaves me an issue because-"

"Hanji." Erwin stopped me mid-rant. My mouth gaped open like a goldfish until I looked at him and slowly shut it. "What's bothering you?" Erwin sipped his coffee in the university library café and bored into me with his laser-like eyes. I sighed.

"Nothing gets past you, does it?" He just smiled in response. Again, I let out a breath and considered how to word what I was going to say. I'd been stalling for the last half an hour, but I guess I'd have to come out with it now. "It's about Levi."

"Hm?" One eyebrow raised at me.

"Ahh, how do I put it..." I mused, scratching my chin. "There's a lot of problems."

"I've noticed a few myself." He interjected.

"I don't think him and Petra can last much longer the way their relationship is now. He still won't open up to her and she's getting impatient. She doesn't seem confident in herself and Levi's personality doesn't help that.

"I see."

"Then there's something else... He claims there's another dimension that he's lived in. With giant human carnivores and walls."

"Hm?"

"And that'd be fine and he'd just be considered a little crazy if it weren't for how it affects him... It's deeper than just thoughts."

"How so?"

"He's fainted a few times and you know Levi- he could have had a bloody heart attack and not told anyone."

"Indeed."

"What do we do?" I finally concluded. He'd taken the thing about another world pretty well, and I was wondering if Levi had told him already.

"His relationship with Petra is something he needs to sort out by himself."

"I knew you'd say that." I grunted, leaning back in my seat. "The problem is, he _won't _solve it."

"Then he'll have to learn." Erwin shrugged. "My advice is to not get involved, Hanji. And on the case of the other world..." He paused, taking a moment to ponder. "If it progresses any worse, we'll have to intervene." I frowned.

"So you're saying do nothing?"

"Yes, in essence."  
"Erwwiiiin!" I complained. I didn't have to talk to him to have known what he'd say. Him and Levi shared similar values and revolved their thought processes around morals like 'don't get involved if it's nothing to do with you' and 'leave them to sort it themselves'. Maybe it was because they were men.

"Hanji, Levi wouldn't let you interfere even if you wanted to." He responded, finishing his coffee and standing up to leave. "If you'd excuse me, I have work to return to."

"Oi, oi!" I pouted. "You haven't heard me out about my experiment!"

"Tell me next time." He waved a hand, absent mindedly.

"That was the most important part." I huffed.

**EREN-**

"Mikasa!" I complained, eyeing up the weights she'd gathered. "If I lift that, I'll injure my back."

"Ah, sorry." She mumbled, taking a few off. I sighed and bent down to help her. She was definitely a rarity. There were at least five other girls in the gym at that moment, and not a single one of them were in the weights section. On top of that, out of the eleven or so other men in the weights section right now, only three of them would be able to match what she was lifting. The gym was pretty empty at this time of day- Mikasa and I had two free periods in a row so we often came here to train. Though, I hated training with her. It was much more fun to train with Armin and he literally could not lift the empty bar.

"What are we up to?" I asked. We'd been working up in sets of three different exercises in a pyramid.

"5 of each."

"Got it." I nodded, bending over the bar and gripping the metal lightly. I bent my knees a few times to prepare, then tightened my grip, simultaneously lifting the bar with my legs. I flipped it under and hung there, before pressing up. Once my arms had reached full extension, I curled the bar back under and down to the floor, preparing for the second one. By the fifth, my arms were burning. Next, I moved onto the press ups which we'd inserted as a 'break', but Mikasa had earlier claimed that normal press ups were going to be too much of a break and we wouldn't work hard enough. I was too proud and cocky to back down either. So now, much to my regret, we were doing scorpion press ups with one leg curled in the air. I finished that exercise and moved onto the last one- five dead rows. At the fourth, I thought the bar was going to slip from my fingertips as I didn't have the grip to hold on. I completed the last set and dropped the bar hastily, shaking out my arms.

Mikasa was next as I took a rest, and she commenced the clean and press with ease. I could tell she wanted to make the press ups even harder from the way she closed her hands inwards to work her triceps, but she knew I wouldn't be able to keep up. She was holding herself back.

This was why I hated training with her.

I didn't say anything and just cursed internally, taking a glance at my petty biceps in the mirror across the gym wall. My own sister had bigger muscles than I did- how embarrassing. Logic told me that she was also stronger than 90% of the others in the gym, but it still aggravated me that I was always being compared to this monster of a girl. Once she'd done, it was my turn to complete six. I knew I'd hit my limit by 9, but I couldn't stand finishing on an odd number, so I pushed on through to the tenth.

"Eren, don't push yourself. You'll strain a muscle." Mikasa had been biting her tongue until now, but finally interjected as I barely pushed my way through a clean and press. On the way down, my grip twisted and I nearly dropped the bar. I was determined to finish though, and brought the bar back up ready to press again. I pushed up with all my might, but suddenly I felt a sharp pain jolt through my arm. My hand instinctively let go of the bar, which was in mid-air. As I drew back away from under the bar without thinking, Mikasa's lightning fast reactions had her catching the bar before it could hit me or the ground. Despite how good her reflexes were, I saw in that split second that the bar had hit her wrist. She didn't successfully catch the bar, but at least she had slowed the velocity of its decent. It crashed onto the mat with a muffled 'thud'. She drew her hand away quickly.

"Show me." I demanded, regaining my cognitions. She hid her wrist with her palm, until I snatched her arm and glared at her to let go. Slowly, she did. There was a red mark, but nothing more. It was probably too soon for a bruise. "Can you move it?" I asked. She nodded, blushing slightly and attempting to rotate her wrist. She visibly winced, despite the amount of effort she put into hiding it. "Stop." I whistled air in past my teeth. "We'll stop here today." She didn't argue.

I marched into the men's room to change and get my bag without saying any more. Whilst in there, I bumped into a man I'd not seen in a long time... and there was a reason for that. He seemed just as shocked as me, and just as irritated.

"Jager." He nodded.  
"Long time no see, Jean." I responded half-heartedly, turning my back on him to open my locker. When I turned back around, he was changing his shirt and I took a brief moment to grin to myself. I might not be stronger than Mikasa, but I had better abs than this bastard. He caught me looking and frowned. I ignored him and whipped off my own shirt whilst he was still looking. _Yeah, take a look at this, bastard._

"Mikasa still beating you in martial arts?" He remarked casually. I gritted my teeth, irked, whilst hastily putting on my clothes.

"Still have an unrequited love?" I cut back and revelled in how his back straightened a little. We still knew exactly how to get on each other's nerves, it seemed.

"She was working out the other day with an older guy." He said, unexpectedly. I span around with my bag in hand. Once he knew he'd caught my attention, he continued. "Scary guy with the figure of an athlete."

"She only works out with me. Are you sure it wasn't me?"  
"Get out." He sneered. "I'm more likely to mistake Armin for you."

"She doesn't talk to anyone else, you know what she's like."

"I know, surprised me too. They were talking over by one of the machines."

"It could have been Reiner, he comes here sometimes."

"No, black hair."

"Berthold?"

"Berthold moved away years ago. No, he was short."

"Short?" I mused, zipping up my bag whilst pondering who it could have been. She'd not told me about this so it was unlikely to be someone we hadn't seen in a while. I was pretty sure I knew everyone she did though...

"I was going to go and say hi, but that guy was lifting more than _Mikasa._" Jean shuddered, lifting a foot onto a bench to tie his laces. I had to admit, that shocked me.

"Well, nice seeing you." I said with the most monotony I could muster, before grabbing my stuff and leaving. Mikasa was waiting for me by the door, hands buried out of my sight in her pockets. I rolled my eyes, planning on checking her injury properly once we got home.

Once we'd got on the bus, I posed the question on my mind. "I saw Jean." I began. She looked up, surprised.

"How is he?"

"A nob." I replied, dismissively. "But it seems he saw you a few days ago with another guy. I couldn't figure out who he was describing." Mikasa looked up to the grey ceiling, thinking.

"I only come here with you." She replied.  
"I know, that's what I said." I remembered his description of the guy. "Short, black hair, kinda scary looking? Lifts more than you?" Mikasa tilted her head, black hair drifting to one side. Then, her eyes lit up.

"Ah!" She seemed to realise what I was talking about. "I don't know him." She shook her head. "Three guys started jeering at me and he told them to get lost." I huffed at my sister's lack of self-awareness.

"So he was hitting on you." Mikasa didn't usually frown at me, but she did so now.

"No, he was helping me out."

"Guys usually only help girls out to get attention. It's a sad fact of life."

"Eren," She began. "Seriously, it wasn't like that."

"I hope not. But just be aware. You're strong, but you're still a girl." I commented. I immediately regretted it, knowing that I had stepped over the line. She hated being underestimated for her gender. Moreover, I knew better than anyone that women could be better than men in any sport- Mikasa was living proof, after all. I was just annoyed that she'd been approached by a group of idiots whilst I wasn't there, and someone else had had to intervene. "So, did you get his name?" I changed the subject, a spark of mischief glinting in my eye. "He lifts more than you so I bet you're interested." Mikasa pouted like a child and a red tinge lit up her cheeks.

"I'm not interested. For some reason, that pipsqueak pisses me off."

"Hey, hey. I thought you just said he helped you?"

We chatted for the entirety of the return journey until we reached our house, where I forced her to sit still whilst I bandaged her wrist. It was now black and blue, bruised like she'd been doodling with a paint brush right from her thumb to her wrist bone. I commanded her to sit still whilst I made dinner and she sat obediently studying at the kitchen table. Later, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

_I'm coming over tonight!_ I read from the drop down screen and sighed heavily. I opened the rest of Hanji's message. _Make enough food for me!_

"Hanji's coming over." I called through to Mikasa, putting my phone back into my pocket.

"That's rare, what does she want?"

"I have a pretty good idea." I groaned internally. That woman- once she'd caught onto something she liked, she was not about to let go. I would bet money on her coming over for the purpose of interrogating me about this new world. "_Now_ she takes an interest." I rolled my eyes.

**AN:**

**We're on chapter eight already? Wow. **

**The third floor is one floor higher in English compared to American, isn't it? Haha, oh the wonders of the English language. We have 'ground floor', then one two etc. Americans just have one two three, am I wrong? It makes much more sense.**

**But change to Celsius instead of Fahrenheit, jeez.**

**And I found out that Guthrie's messenger name doesn't appear online, so it's just a blank space. Why didn't you tell me? I bet you were all so confused. I'll edit that from now on. It was g. eisenberg. I think it deletes that when I don't put a space between the full stop and e.**

**I completed this chapter instead of revising for important exams #cries#, so be grateful. Also, review with Spanish vocab so I pretend it was worth it haha. I got too into writing though. I even started a few oneshots omg why now. And in this story I've been adding more of the original characters, waaaaay.**

**Thanks for reviewing!**


	9. Spiral of Foolishness

_Starting the Fire_

_**How the Mighty (Fall in Love)- Year 845**_

"Here, your rations." The soldier towered over the girl's petty form, handing her half a loaf of bread on his rounds. She didn't reply, curled up into a ball against the large stone building, refusing to let the outside world in. Her hair was matted with what the soldier disgustingly discovered to be blood and strands of hair fell into her face, dampened with filth. She clearly hadn't washed in days. He began to ask her where her family was, but thought better of it. She was in an evacuee camp and no one had yet come to comfort her. On top of that, he had watched her sobbing to herself for the last two days, and now she still squatted in the same spot, not eating or drinking. No one had come to her. They probably wouldn't, either.

"Hey." He said, louder, hitting her across the shoulder with the bread until her eyes gently rose above her folded arms. She looked up at him through dead pupils, and he wished he hadn't disturbed her. A sick feeling arose in his stomach and burned his throat. She had skeleton thin features, skin stretched across jagged cheek bones to the point where it was paper thin. The poor child had dried, purple lips and an expression of permanent despair like a corps with a heartbeat. It wasn't hard to guess her story.

In the end, he tossed the bread into her lap and continued on his way. She would probably die soon- all the better to help the food scarcity issue. She had no life left to her anyway, by the look of it.

Many others passed the girl during the rest of the day, but she remained alone until finally the sun melted into the horizon and a palette of colours oozed across the sky.

"Hey," Someone tapped her shoulder gently and she arose from her semi-consciousness. "Hey, you should eat that." A young boy with dazzling turquoise eyes danced into the girl's hazy vision, gesturing to the bread in her lap. Another shadow hovered behind him.

"Leave her, Eren. She's going to die here anyway."

"Mikasa!" He chided back. "It looks like she's lost her parents." The girl, Mikasa, opened her mouth as if to say more, but quickly pressed her lips together.

"Oi," The boy began again, tapping the girl forcefully. She slowly seemed to regain her thoughts and cocked her head to the side, quizzically. "There's some bread on your lap." With a look of bewilderment, the girl lowered her gaze slightly until her eyes locked onto the loaf on her lap. Tentatively, she lifted it in her trembling fingertips. As though a light had clicked on in her head, she buried her face into the first meal she'd had in days, wolfing the desert-dry substance through a throat parched from liquid. She ate so quickly that she began to choke, and the boy helped her calm down again. "Not so fast. Savour it.

"T-t-thank you." She muttered, wiping her lips in the hope of scavenging crumbs.

"Are you alone?" Another boy came into her vision and as she looked up, she began to see again properly for the first time. The golden sky sparkled into her conscious and she gazed at the small, blonde boy who knelt before her. She nodded in reply. After a second, she retraced her thoughts and shook her head quickly.

"My brother! My dad!" She spoke, forcing the words out past an unused tongue.

"Do you know where they are?"

"No." She muttered, downheartedly.

"Search for them, then." The other boy commanded, harshly. "Don't sit here alone like you've got nothing left- find them." He stood tall and proud, casting his eyes upwards. "We're going to join the scouting legion." She looked up at them in awe, as the two children beside him also stood. They were younger than her, yet here they were- looking up at a sky she couldn't even begin to fathom.

"Let's go, Eren." The girl said quietly, gesturing for them to move on. He nodded slightly, turning back to give his parting words to the girl.

"The scouting legion can do anything. It's full of the heroes of humanity! I want to be one of them." With a last, large grin, he said, "You find your family, and I'll become a hero. That's a promise, 'kay?"

_You'd do it even if you didn't promise. _She thought, testing her weight on legs she'd barely moved in days. Her muscle had wasted away. _But then again, so would I. And I'll tell you what..._

"I'll do both!" She shouted, voice hoarse. It echoed in the yard. He turned around, full moon eyes glinting in the sunlight. "I'll become a hero, too! _And_ I'll find my family!"

"Is that so?!" He chuckled. "Then I look forward to meeting you again!"

…

_First Encounters- Changes like the Seasons_

**How the Mighty Fall (in Love)- Year 846**

**KURT-**

I could recall the first time I had met Lena. She was nothing like she was now, but as I learned more about her, I could understand why. She came into the legion like an underfed lion, trusting nobody and indiscriminately hostile to everyone. She was fierce. You couldn't start a conversation with her at all. She was weak and skinny, her face gaunt and depressed. But slowly, steadily, she grew warmer. She ate, slept and trained. She grew talkative. Even though I had never met her before in my life, I felt like we had regained the _original_ Lena. She was getting over her trauma and regaining the light she had lost.

_I was forcing my back straighter than a ruler, and it felt like my spine was about to snap in two. A cold bubble of sweat ran down the inside of my shirt. Shardis strode in front of us, glowering at us one by one. He had yet to come to me. I listened intently to the mistakes others made in the hopes that I could avoid doing the same, but to be honest I wasn't finding much of a pattern. He seemed to be yelling at whoever he deemed to look like they needed a kick in the face. Or, more accurately, everyone._

"_What about you, you worthless wimp?" He came to the girl next to me and stopped an inch from her face, spitting (most likely on purpose) onto her skin. She glared right back and him. My mouth fell open, slightly. How was she so confident? Her eyes were darkened; depressed. She had sharp cheekbones like she rarely ate enough to keep her standing on two feet; her eyes were clouded with lack of sleep. She was a mess._

"_Lena Hertz from Shiganshina." She replied, her tone indicating that she wasn't about to start an argument with him. She looked too tired to even stand, never mind shout back. _

"_What's with that half-assed response?! Don't you have a voice?!" Shardis bellowed into her face. She pursed her lips shut. Shardis stepped back to view her expression, trying to gauge if she was committing insubordination or was about to collapse of hunger. I was wondering the same. Eventually, he made a decision (whatever it was). "Look at you with your flimsy arms. You trying to become a model or something?! How do you expect to fight when you look like a doll?! Sort it out, soldier. Or you'll be the first to fall."_

_She kept her eyes forward as he moved on to me. I gulped and tried to put on a face of a soldier, rather than the wreck of nerves I currently was. Shardis glared at me, forcing me into my shoes. Just as he was about to hurl a mountain of abuse at me, a commotion occurred behind me. Shardis looked over my shoulder and sighed heavily. As much as my blood burned inside me to turn around, I kept focussed to the front._

"_Someone pick her up." He grunted. I could hear that nobody had moved for fear of punishment. Shardis breathed out heavily through his nostrils and gestured sharply to me. "Pick her up, cadet." Hastily, I turned around to see one of the females collapsed on the floor. I knelt beside her without even checking she was conscious, lifting her into my arms. Jesus, she was heavy. I glanced at Shardis and he gestured vaguely back to the barracks where I knew there was a small infirmary room. I hastily staggered away, glad for the excuse not to face the shit-scary Shardis._

_I kicked the door to the infirmary open with my foot and laid the girl on one of the beds. I noticed she was waking up, eyes fluttering beneath their lids. I glanced around the infirmary, but it was completely empty. Sighing heavily, I leaned over the girl and tapped her shoulders lightly. Her eyes opened._

"_You feinted in front of Shardis." I said as she regained her thoughts and absorbed her surroundings. "That takes guts."_

"_I hadn't eaten this morning." She murmured, sitting up. She ran a hand through long, brown hair that was far too pristine for a soldier. "I was too nervous."_

"_I know what you mean. Wait here, I'll go get something for you." I said and she nodded, gratefully. Just as my hand hovered over the door handle, she stopped me._

"_What's your name?"_

"_Kurt." I replied. "You?"_

"_Luann." She said. "Thank you, Kurt."_

Lena wasn't the only person who had changed.

…

_Final Encounters_

_I hold your hand, trying to send my feeling to you._

_Feel my yearning._

_Let my emotions electrocute your nerves into life._

_That's your cue to return._

_I will wait until you open your eyes once more._

_I'll bear the weight of time._

_It's futile and hopeless and depressing, I know._

_I'm well aware; it's fine._

_Frost descends around us by the roaring flames._

_I touch your skin; it's cold._

_You know I don't like games. This time, I won't play-_

_I wasn't told when it began._

_I've never asked for much, always making my own way._

_I'm asking now- I'm begging._

_Take my left arm, my right and my leg, let me pay_

_To bring you back downstream._

_To me._

…

**The Chemicals Keeping Us Together- 4 Years Ago**

_First Encounters- Opposites Attract_

**LEVI-**

I don't know why I'm sat here, staid on the outside but cursing on the inside. I allowed my legs to swing freely from the stool, kicking the high table in front of me. Erwin scratched chalk onto his cue and leant forward to take a meticulously calculated shot. It was too bad his physical skill didn't match the theory in his head, but it wasn't far off and had the desired impact on my winning streak. He stood up, flashing a ghost of a smirk at me. I rolled my eyes and hopped from the stool to take my shot.

"What time's Hanji arriving?" I asked, circling the snooker table like a vulture, scanning for my next move. I spotted a good shot, immediately checking to see if Erwin had left any nasty traps for me. He met my suspicious gaze and his lip twitched. I nearly decided to go with my second best bet, but thought he'd have considered that too. I couldn't win with this tactical genius.

"She's coming with some friends soon. They will be here any minute." Erwin commented as I took the shot. He raised an eyebrow. "Interesting."

"Great, more science geeks." I snorted, disapprovingly. If they were anything like her, I'd be out of here in two minutes. "And don't make comments like that. You won't put me off." He didn't reply, and I took a seat again as he scoured the table for his next shot. I swallowed a few mouthsful of the pint in my hand, observing him carefully.

A plethora of sounds erupted as a dreadful noise, namely Hanji laughing, screeched into the room. Someone had obviously told some sort of hilarious sciency joke which had alerted the whole street to Hanji's presence. I rolled my eyes- she was my best friend, but so, so, so fractious. She exploded into life when she saw me and I had to take arm with a cue stick before she could get close enough to hug me. She nicely avoided seppuku by wooden stick, but she didn't manage to get close enough to touch me. Pouting profusely, Hanji turned to Erwin.

"I told you to have him drunk by the time we got here! He's still sober!"

"If he was drunk, it wouldn't be a fair match." Erwin shrugged, finally knocking another ball into a socket.

"I'd still beat you."

"As it stands, I can't argue with that." He said.

"Hanji mentioned that you are the undefeated pool champion." Another voice chimed in, laughing like the tinkling of one of those garden decorations my mother had liked to string up everywhere.

"Snooker, not pool." I cut in, glancing behind Hanji to see her friend.

"Ah, this is Petra." Hanji smiled, gesturing to the ginger haired woman standing nervously at the other end of the table. "We met through friends and I'm treating her to dinner tonight because of a favour she did for me."

"Good evening." Erwin nodded, smiling graciously. I simply nodded in her vague direction.

"This is Erwin. We go to the same university so I see him a lot. Looks scary, but he isn't. And this is Levi. He's an implacable, frank and a seemingly antisocial guy, but he's not a bad person."

"Oi." I frowned.

"He's kind of like a domestic cat. Hostile to strangers but if you give him time and cuddle him, he warms up to you."

"Since when?" I snorted in disgust.

"I haven't reached that part of him yet." Hanji said and the woman laughed gently. "And this is Petra Ral. She's really nice and a delicate flower so Levi- watch your filthy mouth." I didn't give a witty retort, ignoring her in favour of the turn of events which had occurred on the snooker table.

"You conniving..." I cursed under my breath, finally walking straight into Erwin's trap. I had known it was there, but I had only just figured it out. No mind, however. I was confident that I could still win. Now that he knew the rules inside and out, he was becoming a formidable opponent. I'd have to start thinking more intelligently.

I sank back onto the wooden stool again, taking another swig of alcohol and feeling it ooze into my bloodstream. Petra came and sat next to me, smiling politely as she sat down. Hanji went to the bar to order some more drinks.

"So, what's the difference between pool and snooker?" She asked. I shrugged and used the pint glass to provide a barrier between us. It wasn't that I didn't like her, I just hated casual conversation. I decided to answer her, eventually.

"I've only ever played snooker."

"Oh, how did you pick it up?"

"My uncle taught me."

"Was he good?" She said. I shrugged again. Really, this type of thing wasn't my forte. She soon picked up on my lack of conversational skills and took to talking widely to herself, about herself, about Hanji and everything else under the sun. I interjected occasionally with remarks such as, "is that so?" and "ahhh". Eventually, Hanji returned with her hands full. The conversation soon switched as she took over, and I soon zoned out. I took another shot.

Later into the night, myself and Erwin were on our third game. I had won the first two, but demanded another game after Hanji had taken a shot out of boredom on Erwin's turn, totally wrecking his chances of success. I was barely able to concentrate on the game at this stage in the night, alcohol changing my thoughts from the game, distracting them elsewhere... such as to the pair of eyes following my movements. Not in a stalker-ish way. More of in what some people would call a 'flattering' way. Petra would watch me out of the corner of her eye, blushing whenever I made eye contact. She frequently attempted conversation whenever I came back to the stool between turns. As she became more intoxicated herself, her eyes motions were becoming much less demure. She was almost blatantly staring now, swaying gently where she sat and giggling to Hanji.

I lent over the table to take a difficult shot, feet barely scraping the floor as I positioned myself like a sniper across the table. Hanji made a comment at the obscurity of my snooker skills, and I shot back that 'it obviously worked'. At the second before I took the shot, however, a drunk 'whisper' sounded across to me.

"Does he know how attractive that is?" Petra hissed into Hanji's ear, attempting to be discrete. My eyebrow twitched in interest. So she _was_ watching me.

"You're into him?!" Hanji gasped back, just as loudly. I took the shot and retreated away from the table to observe my work. The ball thunked across the table, setting off a domino effect of manoeuvres until it finally came to a halt. Three balls potted- not bad. Erwin sighed heavily and grinned at me.

"Good shot, Levi." He said.

The hushed giggling from across the room continued throughout our final game. I listened, tuning in my ears to their conversation. _He's so hot... Look at those muscles though!.. Has he got a girlfriend?... Really?! I'd pick him up in a second!... I'm sure he's not that bad._ I was so distracted that Erwin managed to get ahead of me and in the end, he won.

"Something on your mind?" Erwin grinned at me, triumphantly. I snorted in reply.

"Well, I've got to head home. Work in the morning." Petra stood. I let my eyes wander across her face, then down her neck, along her collar bone, down her chest, to her hips, her bum, her thighs... The alcohol thundered through my veins.

"Levi, you two live nearby. You could share a taxi." Hanji suggested. I nodded and Petra visibly blushed again.

"Thanks." Petra mumbled. She retrieved her mobile from her bag. "I'll call one now!"

I can't remember how it happened, but one taxi ride later and I was in her house. More specifically, in her bed. With her. My mouth was all over her bare skin. I slid my tongue through her mouth and smoothed my hands down her waist. She kissed me right back, removing her own clothes in anticipation. I forced myself onto her, not giving an inch of manoeuvrability as I tackled her tongue into submission. I felt her smile through the kiss, which I soon smothered with my mouth. It'd been a while since I'd done this, and the alcohol sure wasn't letting her escape. She didn't seem shy though, encouraging me with moans in all the right places.

That was how it started.

**AN:**

**This is getting less and less PG... There won't be any actual M rated content though. Even though things are getting closer to it, ahah. This is a flashback chapter to fill in some gaps. I'm doing it now because I didn't want to make you all wait for a chapter, but I didn't have time to sit down and write for long periods of time. I'll get back to the plot once exams are over, otherwise it'll end up crap and bitty. **

**Guest- The Merriam Dictionary is an American dictionary, as far as I know. I use the Oxford English Dictionary as far as possible. And I beta my own stuff when I get time, such as I'm currently re-writing HTMFIL :) It's not that reliable, but I spend a lot of time learning from my mistakes so I enjoy it:)**

**Fro- Hopefully the story pace will pick up soon! There's a major event on its way but if I rush it, it will be completely spoiled! So hang on. We'll get there! It's also really weird that you say I spend too much time describing stuff... I always consider my lack of description my downfall and so spend a lot of time trying to lengthen dialogue etc because my instinct is to have long amounts of speech and no description. Hmm. I'll try and focus on more action instead? Thanks for the criticism! I'll work on it!**

**A- you really don't like Petra, haha :L**

**OrangeWithAfro- gracias, haha. Don't worry, I use google translate for everything.**

**GajevyNalu4life- # takes cookie #**

**I can't remember who else I have replied to so I'll leave it there. Thanks a lot for reading! I read your reviews more than once, eheh~ I like to listen to what you think when you read my writing because my thought process seems to be completely different.**

**Keep reviewing!**


	10. Dancing Through Azure

**LENA-**

The dog grinned up at me mischievously as though it was proud of the steaming … ugh... delight it had left for me on the kitchen floor. I was dog sitting for someone and they had decided not to inform me that my visitor was a barely out of the womb ruffian with nipping teeth and tearing claws. My fingers were torn to shreds from wrestling with it, little red dints littering my fingers where it had enclosed its jaws around my digits. Mum and my sister were at Grandma's house, luckily, staying over for her birthday. This meant I had time to clean up this... mess... before they returned tomorrow.

I set to work scrubbing whilst glaring at the bastard puppy tearing up our carpets. I wasn't a dog trainer. Seriously, when the owners came back I was going to rant. Firstly, train your puppy if you're going to leave it with someone. Secondly, if you haven't, give them a WARNING. I was going to charge them for every fucking scratch on our sofa and I wasn't going to be cheap. The stupid woman had barely given me any instructions, either. She had dropped the bastard thing off in a cage and given me a bag, then left. I barely had time to remember its damn name- Pepsi or something equally as daft. It was about as sweet as diet coke was healthy. I was thankful that Mike was good with dogs. Well, Mike was good with everyone. I'd introduced the dogs slowly and planned to lock Mike my room if need be. However, Mike had given one sniff to the puppy and searched for a quieter spot to sleep. The puppy had leapt like a kangaroo for a while, before settling on tearing up the bin in the kitchen.

My patience was wearing thin. Oh, so thin.

I tossed my phone from hand to hand, contemplating phoning the bastard owners up now and demanding they get back from whatever hotel they were at to pick up their ball of mayhem. I looked at the broken dishwasher... and took a deep breath.

"Right, you scoundrel." I began. "How about we get your trained?" The puppy glanced at me curiously, then decided to continue ripping up the plastic bag. "Do you know what Spartan training is like? No? Well, you're about to find out you little shit."

…

**LEVI-**

I sipped on the glass in my hand, tasting the sharp tang of fruit and alcohol mingle in my mouth. I'd probably exceeded the social unit guidelines for the current atmosphere- I didn't think 'absolutely wasted' suited a 'romantic night for two'. I'd be out of it on the floor in an hour. Well, actually, I was doing pretty fine. It was my plan to be out of it soon and I was doing my damnest to overcome my disease of an ability to hold my liquor ridiculously well. So far, a few slips of the hand were the only indication that I was intoxicated. That and Petra was looking rather attractive right now for once.

Oh, and my uncontrollable sharp tongue it seemed.

I sighed and laid down the glass gently, turning to face Petra in an attempt to make conversation. She was flicking through a rack of CDs with one hand, wine glass in the other.

"Thanks for the puppy." I said, meekly. _Come on, Levi. What type of a conversation starter was that? _"Uh, it was thoughtful of you."

"No problem!" She smiled from ear to ear. I winced as she tipped the wine glass by accident and the red liquid nearly splashed out onto the floor. "I knew you'd like it."

"I wonder if Hanji has trained him to meow yet."

"Hanji?" Petra frowned.

"Hanji?" I frowned back, confusion apparent on my features.

"The dog's not with Hanji. I asked her, but Hanji said she's going to see her cousin tonight."

"... Then," I began, feeling a sense of dread well up inside of me. "Where's Kola?"

"I paid someone my friend recommended to look after it."

"Do I know them? Do _you_ know them?!"

"No, but he's safe."

"Bloody hell, Petra." I cursed, running a hand through my hair. "He's a puppy! He'll be terrified!"

"He'll be fine, Levi!" Petra huffed. She turned away from me and downed the rest of her glass.

"Have you got their number?" I refused to back down to her act. She was trying to pout in order to make me feel bad. No way, not this time.

"Levi, he'll be fine!"

"Give me the number!" I stood up, frustration causing a headache to spark in my head. Or it might have been the alcohol. "Give me the number, please." I added, trying to calm myself. With an exasperated sigh and an expression that clearly showed that she wasn't happy with me, Petra slammed her phone down on the table. I picked it up and scrolled through her contacts until I found 'Dog Sitter'. Dialling the number, I lifted the phone to my ear and tapped my finger impatiently. Ringing a stranger whilst tipsy was possibly not the greatest idea I'd ever had, but I thanked my strong liver that I'd probably be able to hold a meaningful conversation for a while.

"Hello?" A voice chimed down the phone. I stopped. There was something about that voice.

"Hello, I'm Levi. Sorry to bother you but are you sitting a dog right now?"

"Ah... yes? Why, do you know the owner?" I recognised it.

"Yeah, sorry. I am the owner. My girlfriend dropped him off today."

"Oh I see. The bas- ah, Pepsi is yours. What's the matter?" I felt like correcting her on the name, but a more pressing matter was occurring. The drilling in my chest. The swirling in my abdomen. I felt like I was about to spill my guts on the carpet and suddenly regretted the last glass I'd drunk. Blood was searing through my veins, making my fingertips pulse against the phone. Petra looked across to me, an ounce of concern ebbing onto her features. She raised an eyebrow at me as I caught her eyes.

"Ahh... no, what I … Is he okay?" I took a deep breath. "I didn't realise she'd left him with a stranger... sorry for causing you trouble."

"I was wondering what the owners would be like to leave something so young in care." The woman huffed, clearly irritated. "I'm glad at least one of you has sense. If you commit to buy a dog, you look after it properly, okay?!"

"I know, I know." I sank back into my seat and tried to calm my breathing. I definitely recognised this voice and the frustration of not knowing was driving me crazy. The voice on the other side paused.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. What time did she say we'd be picking him up?"

"Your girlfriend said tomorrow evening."  
"Make it tomorrow morning, if that's okay. I'll pay you extra for the trouble."

"No no no!" She protested. "I couldn't take more than what I charge."

"I insist."

"I won't take it."

"Then..." An idea arose into my drunken mind. "Let me take you out for a drink or something. I can't let this slide. I'm sure if he tore up our sofa, he'll have shredded yours." There was a pause that could only mean yes, the dog _had_ wrecked her house.

"... Fine. If your girlfriend is okay with that, I'll take you up on the offer."

"Great, I'll see you tomorrow." I murmured, hanging up just as the world began to spin. I felt my head loll against the table as the room faded out.

_The aching in my chest wouldn't go away. Her face wouldn't leave me. I felt her cold skin on my finger tips, ran my eyes down her grey pallor. My mind tricked me with a painter's palette of colours and sensations. The fawn of her hair, the alabaster of her skin, the spice of her eyes, the punch of her lips, the lavender of her scent, her Arctic anger and her butter smile... the brown of her hair, the grey of her skin, the dead of her eyes, the stone of her lips, the stench of her smell, her empty anger and her blank smile. She had left me. She had really left me._

_My breath hitched painfully and I clasped at my chest. This hurt. This hurt like hell. I squeezed my eyes shut and forced a shaky breath through tired lungs. Biting my lip to the point of pain, I tried to blink the water from my eyes so that I could see the pile of dust before me. I touched her ashes, as though hoping to feel her life reignite somehow. Nothing. Nothing. They crumbled through my finger tips and left a stain of grey across my nails. I gasped another breath and cursed. I cursed over and over. I swore. My head felt heavy and dropped like a stone into my soiled hands. Tears streamed from my eyes and my breath staggered, shoulders shaking and a pathetic moan sobbing through twisted lips._

_I felt like the pain would never leave me. I felt like it was tearing a hole in my stomach. I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted to erase it._

I woke up with a pain my chest and burning cheeks. After several seconds of shock, my breath hitched and I realised I was crying. Really crying. I felt like I'd lost everything and an irremovable weight pressed down on my shoulders. I sat up quickly, rubbing furiously at my eyes and trying to calm my erratic breaths. For some reason, I felt awful. I knew I was mourning instantly, but I couldn't remember a damn thing. I woke up knowing that I'd dreamt something horrid, but couldn't recall anything. Suddenly, something moved out of the corner of my eye.

Petra was sat up in bed, staring at me with stunned eyes. I looked away from her and chewed my lip, trying to stop the flow of tears. I felt like someone had booted me in the intestines repeatedly, and my heart rate wouldn't slow down.

"L-Levi?!" She gasped, utterly dumb-founded. She wasn't the only one.

"It's nothing." I said, hastily, standing suddenly and staggering towards the shower. Before she could stop me, I enclosed myself in the bathroom and locked the door.

"Levi?! What's up? Please, say something! Tell me what happened!"

"It's nothing, leave it!" I said, gathering myself together.

"LEVI!" She was behind the door now, furiously trying to open it.

"I'm taking a shower." I said. I jumped as she banged her fist against the bathroom door, cursing.

"Levi I swear, get out of that goddamn room NOW." I knew I was going to have to explain something and my brain racked though a million and one options. The truth? Get lost. There was no way I was telling her about my madness. Then...

"Petra, I..." I began, hearing her calm down when she sensed the change in atmosphere. "I had a dream about my mother."

She was silent. At first, I thought she was still angry. Then I realised that instead, she was listening. She was listening to what I had to say without interrupting.

"I don't know why but I was beside her ashes and it just..." A half lie. I _had_ dreamt about someone's death, but it hadn't been my mothers. I'd have to apologise to mum's grave later. Petra finally sighed.

"Tell me these things." She said, softly. "We're boyfriend and girlfriend, right? I want to know about you. Is this why you've been acting strange recently?" I didn't say anything, fingers hovering over the lock. "Levi... can you tell me about your mother?"

…

**HANJI-**

"Hanji, don't talk while you're eating." Eren chided me, pulling a face. I stopped ranting and pouted.

"I need to talk to your dad though, Eren!"

"He's not going to be home until late!"

"Exactly! So I'm telling you!"

"Just come back later!" He stabbed at the meat on his plate viciously. "I don't understand all your sciency talk."

"You used to love it." I said, reminiscent of the times where Eren used to ask me about my research into animals with bright, eager eyes.

"That was one time, Hanji. I learnt my lesson."

"But there's so many more lessons to learn!" He just sighed at me, exasperated. I glanced up at Mikasa, who was chewing silently, and wondered if I should begin asking questions now. I didn't know if I should speak of such a thing in front of her. I had no idea how much she knew.

"So, what did you really come here for?" Eren asked, placing his knife and fork together in the centre of his plate and leaning back to make eye contact. I nibbled the end of my fork and glanced once more to Mikasa. "Mikasa knows."

"Oh, well that makes things much easier." I said. "Tell me everything. WAIT!" I jolted up and out of my chair, scrambling for my bag to retrieve my notebook. Once I'd sat down again, Eren tapped his finger in irritation.

"You never cared before." He said, bitterly.

"It's not that I didn't care, it's just mental illnesses are not my forte." I shrugged. Eren's mouth hung open.

"Ah great, thanks." When I didn't reply, leaning forward eagerly for him to begin speaking, he rolled his eyes and began to talk.

"Like I said before, I don't remember everything. I just know that this world existed. "I had two friends and we lived in a city surrounded by walls- huge walls. Designed to keep something out... and to keep us in. At some point, they were broken and these... things... these titans began to come inside the walls. They can be anything from 5 metres to 50 metres, and they eat humans. I've had nightmares about them over and over, a smiling face chewing on limbs like they're some sort of treat.

"I remember fighting them, too. Being a soldier. But it's strange... I have memories of a titan, sometimes. I remember being the one standing 10 metres tall and looking down on humans like ants."

"What about Levi?" I probed, scribbling furiously.

"He was a soldier, too. When I met him, here I mean, I remember thinking 'wow'. I had so much respect for him even though I'd never met him. I also know that I used to call him 'heichou'. When I met him in this world, I said it without thinking. Levi-heichou." He repeated, as though testing the words on his tongue. "Levi said he remembered you, too." I stopped writing and looked up. "He didn't say much and he said it wasn't for certain, but he felt like you were from this world too."

"If that's so," I began, finger trailing down my chin, "Why don't I remember anything?"

"There's something else I remembered the other day." Eren said, glancing across to Mikasa who was sat there silently, absorbing the information. "Ackerman." Mikasa looked up sharply, making eye contact with Eren.

"That's Mikasa's real surname, right?"  
"Yeah. I don't know what it is about it. I had a dream. From what I gather, the Ackerman's were the ones who knew the truth."  
"About the giants?"

"Yeah," Eren nodded. "But I feel like they have a link to this world, too."

"You mean, the Ackerman's know the truth about the link between the other world and this one?"

"That's what it felt like. I could just be making stuff up now, you know, since I have _mental health _problems." I side stepped the jibe he'd directed and me and switched the conversation.

"Some sort of key to the mystery lock." I pondered, clicking the button on top of my pen repeatedly. "Ah, I have another question."

"Hm?"

"Levi seems to remember some girl, from the little he's told me. If you remember any girl with a connection to Levi, I want to know."

"I barely recall him, never mind his friends. I'll let you know if I remember something though."

"Well, now that's sorted!" I stood and stretched, excitement welling up inside me. "I didn't finish telling you about cytochrome c, did I?"

…

**LUCA-**

The sky was a dull colour today. Outside of the window, I could only see a slither of sky through the towering skyscrapers but what I could see of it was disappointing. Grey, grey grey. There weren't even shades of grey to imagine shapes and sculpture unicorns out of. It was simply a blanket of bleak, never ending cloud. I turned my attention back to the sea of people before me, looking up into the audience of foreign faces examining me piece for piece. I could read their minds as they attempted to decode mine, breaking down my features into piles of stereotypes to categorise me into one of two zones- money, or no money?

_He's got a strong accent. Must be a country boy. He won't know anything about business._

_He's wearing an expensive suit and looks confident. _

_I hear he's working for his dad. Must be the heir to some small company._

_He keeps looking out of the window! How unprofessional._

The video stopped playing, though half of the audience wouldn't have noticed either way. They had their scribes to note down the details, whilst the entrepreneurs themselves simply judged the quality of my performance on this joke of a stage. I launched back into my speech, spewing out facts and statistics, occasionally making solid eye contact with a member of the audience. My father always told me to try and control my accent as best I could to give a better impression to the audience- that was one command from my father that I would refuse to obey. Stubborn and irrational as it was, my accent was staying.

Once I had finished, they clapped obligingly and I bowed my head to them in polite acknowledgement. The least interested in my proposals fired out of the room like bullets from a machine gun, whilst a few hovered around. I shook some people's hands and thanked them for coming until one man directly approached me, intent in his eyes. I raised an eyebrow and greeted him.

"Good morning, Mr. Hertz." He beamed at me. "That was a splendid presentation. You made the statistical analysis of facts seem like poetry!" He laughed and I returned the favour, half-heartedly.

"My thanks."

"Now, I have a proposal for you." The man was practically bounding from foot to foot. He was one of those overly enthusiastic and irritatingly happy folks. "I am the owner of a business and I would like my workers to present a proposal I have, but their social skills... Well, at least one of their social skills... are not up to standard, I'm afraid. I would be happy to pay you a reasonable sum of money to teach them the art of the board room. I hear that you have a degree in that sort of thing?"

"Yes I do. I'll be happy t'get back to ya on the matter. You have my business card from earlier, yes?"

"Brilliant. I'll send you an email."

"Thanks."

Perfect. I hated teaching, but dad would probably drag me into this somehow. Speaking of whom-

"Son?"

"Yeah, I've just finished. Before you asked, it went fine."

"Good, I expected so."

"No one had spoken t'me about takin' up the offer. I suppose some'll need time to think it over."

"Yes, probably. What time are you going to be home?"

"I have to go back to the office to finish some work. It'll be this afternoon, why?"

"It's your grandma's birthday. Want to go round?"

I thought about it. Lena and mother would probably be there...

"I've got too much to do. I'll ring her later."

"Alright. See you tonight."

"Bye."

**AN:**

**I'M HEEEEEREE! SORRY FOR THE WAIT!**

**Exams are not over but I only have three left. Free tiiiiiiimmmee! I've had a bit of writer's block because of the massive gap since I've been writing, but I know where I'm going. I need to do a bit more planning and I should be back on track. Btw, I've been dropping storyline hints like mad... I wonder how many of you will spot them hehe~.**

**Arisu Winters- He was talking about Lena changing from being fierce and hostile, then it moved onto talking about Luann feinting on the first day of training and he implies that she has also changed. Hope that clears it up for up!**

**Shivziii- Not quite but not far off ;) Kurt is the type who would ship them, haha!**

**MzAkumaGore- Yup! There's a few more links to the song in there, too. And some more to come! It's like one massive songfic... (don't report me for that haha)**

**Allora22701- I love you for reviewing all the time – gives biscuit of gratitude - **


	11. Hatching

**PETRA-**

"Levi, will you tell me about your mother?" I asked. This was it, I felt. This was what was separating myself and Levi. If I could learn about him now, about his past, I could overcome this gateway in our path. He didn't answer and I began to push him further, feeling him slipping away from me. "Levi, you know I'm here."

"Petra..." He sighed. "Now's not the time."

"You're wrong, Levi. There's never been a better time."

"I'm taking a shower. We'll talk later."

"Levi-!" I yelled but was cut off by the sound of the shower running. I yelled again, but I knew it was futile. As long as the sound of rushing water was echoing through the bathroom, he couldn't hear me.

Or, he could pretend so.

I paced the room, circling like a vulture in anticipation for him. With a huge sigh, I realised that he would take his time, and decided to get changed and start packing. I began to put on a dress from inside my suitcase on the floor (which Levi had subconsciously moved into a corner and closed so that he couldn't see my mess of unfolded items), always listening for the sound of the water stopping. I sometimes wondered if I was imagining the faint sound of water and rushed out to check.

He usually showered for three minutes. Today, he showered for fifteen.

The instant the water stopped I was tapping my foot outside the door. He could probably sense my presence- a dense mass of worrying and irritated space. The door opened and he glanced around the corner, wearily. He spotted me and diverted his eyes away quickly.

"Levi." I said, sternly. He ground his jaw and ran a towel over his face.

"I'm going to pick the dog up."

"Levi!" I said, louder. My face flushed and I felt a lump stick in my throat. Oh no, I was NOT going to cry. "Do NOT leave this hotel." I commanded, though there was little strength in my voice.

"I'm going to pick the dog up, I'll see you at home."

"And you're going to take another girl out for a drink?" I reminded him of his promise to the stranger last night. Oh boy had it made me bitter. I vaguely remembered her face- young, quite attractive and slim. Also, she was familiar, somehow. At the time, I hadn't stopped long enough to ponder about that.

"_You _left the dog in her house which is probably ripped to shreds." He said, malice lining his words. That startled me. He rarely rose his voice to me, never mind giving me attitude. "It's the least I can do as an apology. Or am I going to fuck her? Because apparently you think I'm after every woman going." He spoke the last part quietly, before turning his back on me and moving over to the wardrobe to fish out some clothes to wear, a towel tied around his waist. My mouth dropped open and the tears brimming behind my eyes finally spilled over.

"I only want to know about your mother!"

"I said I don't want to talk!" He glared across at me. His eyes softened slightly at my face when he made eye contact and he couldn't help but look away again. He swiftly got dressed and neither of us exchanged a word. I rubbed at my eyes with a tissue I had retrieved from my bag. "I'll see you at the apartment." He began to walk out.

"Levi!" My voice cracked and tears spilled from my eyes again. He thought of something and fiddled in his pocket for something. He drew out a few notes and placed them on the table before he left.

"Taxi money." He opened the door, bag slung over his shoulder. "I'll see you later, Petra."

And he left.

**LEVI-**

I knocked on the door gently, then paused, irritated at myself. I'd knocked too lightly. Would she have heard? If I knocked again now, would she think I was rude? I heard movement from the other side of the apartment door and my questions were answered. The door rattled as she clicked a key in at the other side, then the handle slid downwards. The door opened.

"Ah!" We both gaped at each other, realisation hitting us simultaneously.

"You're..." I began.

"That's why I recognised your voice!" She beamed broadly. "Thank you for that, by the way."

"I didn't really do anything."  
"It's a small world, right?"

The waitress from the café gestured me to wait for a second whilst she retrieved the dog. I watched her go, eyes wandering across her fawn coloured hair that had been twisted up into a knot. I forced all the nightmares sitting in the corner of my mind out of my head- _for once, Levi, relax._

I wasn't used to this 'socialising' thing.

She returned a second later with the dog scrambling within its cage, gnawing at the bars. "How long ago did you get him?" She asked, casually. Casual conversation. I hated casual conversation. Come on, Levi. You're supposed to answer. Act normally.

"Yesterday." I replied. _Fuck, Levi. Are we really using one word replies?_ "Yeah, yesterday." _Oh bloody hell._

"Yesterday?!" She looked horrified. "No wonder he was a little! -ah..." She stopped herself mid-sentence, but I could predict the rest of what she was going to say. I had realised in our short time knowing each other that this girl had a foul mouth and wasn't the politest stranger that I'd ever come into contact with. She wasn't rude either, though. "He's very cute." She corrected herself.

"Sorry, again. My, uh, friend bought him for me. I didn't realise that she'd sent him to a stranger either."  
"Well at least one of you has some sense."

"Do you know of any cafés that let dogs in?" I asked. She raised an eyebrow at my question.  
"Yeah, a few. Why?"

"I'm taking you out for a drink, right?"

"Now?!"

"If you're busy- "

"No, no, it's fine. A café? So you're taking me out for tea, not a Jaeger bomb." She laughed, handing over the cage to me and searching the floor for her shoes. She found the pair she was looking for and began to slip them on. I averted my eyes, suddenly feeling self-conscious. I felt like this was the first time I'd broken eye contact with her since she'd opened the door. Had I been staring at her? Did she think I was a freak?

Shit, why did I even care? She'd been making me uncharacteristically nervous for some time now.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and took it out for a second to look at it. The screen was black. I thought back to the last tine I had charged it and sighed. She looked up at me.

"What's up?"

"Phone's dead."

"Do you need to use it?"

"No, not really."

"I've got mine if you need to text someone."

"It's fine, I don't know anyone's number off by heart anyway."

"Not even your mum's?" She joked. I paused, wondering how I should respond, but my pause was more than enough to give her the hint. "Ah... Is your...?"

"My mother died years ago, seriously don't let it bother you." I said, turning away and beckoning her after me. She suddenly became pensively silent and I heard her locking the door. She followed me down the apartment stairs.

"Sorry about the lift being broken." She finally interrupted the silence.

"Hm?" I raised an eyebrow and looked over my shoulder. "Oh, I didn't realise anyway."

"I've got the knees of an eighty year old thanks to this stupid apartment."

"I don't like lifts; it doesn't bother me."

"Really?! How old are you?"

"Twenty eight. I've never liked them." She skipped a few steps until she was walking down them beside me.

"Twenty eight?! You're unexpectedly old!" She exclaimed, gaping at me. I laughed.

"And you're unexpectedly blunt!"

"Ah, sorry." She smiled apologetically. "People have said that before. I don't mean to be rude."

"Blunt honesty isn't always a bad thing." I shrugged.

"So what's your secret?" She asked, leaning towards me as we neared the bottom of the final flight of stairs. "Do you use lotions or something? Plastic surgery?" I curled my lip in disgust and she laughed aloud. I felt like the awkwardness from earlier dissipate into nothing. There was a certain familiarity she had that put me at ease. Even when I had met Petra, we'd been all airs and graces. White lies and masks, as they say.

"There's no secret." I replied. "Anyway, where are we going?"

"Have you got a car?"

"It's outside."

"Get in and head back towards town. I'll direct you from there."

"Are you all right with getting in a stranger's car?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"I may have the knees of an eighty year old, but I've got the moves of a praying mantis. Besides, I have your phone number and address, plus your face on our apartment's CCTV. You'd be a fool to try anything." I nodded, slightly impressed.

"Fair enough. Lead the way."

…

We sat down in a cosy, little café, the dog in his cage by my feet. He had calmed considerably and now slept in the corner.

"I just realised that I don't know your name." She smiled. "I'm Lena."

"Levi." I nodded in reply, scanning my eyes down the menu at the drinks. I drew my eyebrows together looking at the tea... I wanted tea... but there was a ninety nine percent chance that they wouldn't be able to brew it to my satisfaction. I'd have to stick with something else.

"Something catch your fancy?" She raised an eyebrow, noticing how captivated I had become, imagining each drink and weighing up how 'in the mood' I was for each particular item. I was very particular about this type of thing.

"I like tea..." I sighed, deeply. "But they never make it right." Lena giggled and I cocked my head curiously. "What?"

"You're sat here practically sweating, trying to chose from the menu... Never pictured you the type."

"What type am I then?" I asked, slightly teasingly. I tried to keep a straight face, but cracked into a grin at her expression.

"Lay off it." She chided. "Anyway, what's your job? You know two of mine."

"You say two as though there are more? I just work for a company at a desk. Nothing of interest."

"Hmm, so what's the dream job then?"

"I don't have one."

"Don't tell me you don't have ambitions." She scowled. "You're twenty eight, not ninety."

"I work for money; that's it."

"Do you get to do what you want on weekends then?"

"Well..." I genuinely thought about that. The answer was a straight no, since I always had extra work to do at the weekend, courses to go on or a girlfriend to placate. "Not really."

"So you earn money, but you don't enjoy yourself. What good is that?"

"I didn't realise I signed up for life coaching sessions." I sniffed.

"We'll change the subject if you want." She shrugged and I couldn't help but watch her hair tumble down over her exposed neck, slowly unravelling itself from her bun.

"Well, are you enjoying yourself?" I turned the tables on her and she visibly started, clearly not expecting this. Her face dropped.

"I guess I'm not the best person to get career advice from. I work as a dog sitter, a dog walker, I work in a café, I work in a pub when they need me and I sometimes baby sit."

"I'm surprised you have time to be sat here wasting time with me."

"I don't study or have a full time job, so those things fill up my free time."

"Don't you have a dream job?"

"Oi," She laughed, folding her arms. "You've got a sharper tongue than I do!... I'd love to study and get a full time job, but unfortunately my mum works and I have to manage my life around my younger sister."

"Hmm?" This new information started colouring the front cover of the mystery that was Lena. I started to understand her a little more, and began to notice some of the plot twists in her life. One thing I could not fathom though, was myself around her. If I wasn't feeling dizzy or sick from one of my episodes, I was nervous. She didn't seem to recognise me in the same way I knew her. Then again, I didn't know anything about her, so it was ridiculous to say I knew her.

Then why did I feel like I knew her better than anybody else?"

We each ordered our drinks, and I noticed that she chose the cheapest item on the menu, second only to water.

"What's wrong with water?" I mused and she stopped fiddling with her hair to glance at me.

"Eh?"

"You chose the cheapest thing on the menu except water. Do I look poor to you?"

"It's called manners. If you like, I could order the double chocolate sundae. I feel like clogging up my arteries a bit."

"It comes with strawberries." I noted. "One of your five a day."

"That'll make two, along with the chocolate orange I ate earlier. Half way there."

I just laughed, feeling the stress from this morning completely evaporate from my pores. Each breath I took ventilated my lungs and drove the toxins from my system. I would be disappointed when this day drew to a close. I'd also be sober, for once.

**PETRA-**

What was the word? I couldn't catch it on my tongue. Ahh, what was it? Well, it didn't matter now.

My stomach lurched and I staggered forwards, nearly slipping on the tiles. I rushed to the toilet and threw up my organs into the water, holding my hair back. I felt my consciousness slip and my head lolled forward. I slipped down the side of the toilet onto the floor.

This hurt more than I expected.

One more? Would that make it quicker?

I don't want to throw up again.

What was that word? Something like useless. Not incompetent, but similar.

I sat up quickly and scampered for the toilet again, hands flailing to weakly grab the seat. My head danced and I couldn't make out the shape of the bathroom any more. This was it. This was as far as I went. Next thing I knew, I was flat out on the floor again, shuddering breaths and trying to prevent my body from twitching. My spine convulsed and then I lay still again.

Had I text someone? I was sure I had. I wouldn't want Levi to find me in this state. Though, what did it matter anyway?

Ahh, that was it. I remembered the word.

Worthless.

**LEVI-**

Lena's phone began to ring and she paused to remove it from her pocket. She glanced at the screen, then answered with an apologetic glance towards me.

"What's up?" She said. "Hey, hey, calm down!" Immediately, her voice was tense and the atmosphere changed. I raised a curious eyebrow but her entire focus was on the person talking in her ear now. "Yeah I did look after their dog. Why?... Her boyfriend's phone number?" I was listening now. I sat up and she made eye contact firmly with me, eyes slightly widened. "He's sat here now... Alright alright, two seconds." She handed the device to me and I raised a questioning eyebrow at her. She shrugged.

"Hello?" I answered. A panicked voice sounded down the line.

"You're Levi, right? Petra just sent me a really weird message and now she's not answering her phone. I'm outside your apartment now and I need a key, please Levi-"

"Oi, oi," I interrupted. "Calm down, what's wrong?"

"She sent me a strange message. Levi, I think... I think-" My stomach dropped. "Please, just get over here. Do you have a spare key?"  
"No, I'm on my way." I stood sharply and began to run for the door. Lena followed swiftly and picked up the dog cage. "What did she send you?"

"S-something like she had an argument with you, but I didn't answer I've only just read them! Then she sent something weird Levi hurry, please!" The person on the other end of the line was in tears now. "She sent a message apologising and telling me to tell you she's sorry!"

"And she's not answering?"

"I've been hammering on your door and she won't answer. Has she gone out?"

"I have no idea."

"Did she seem fine when you last saw her?" The person asked and I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. Red rimmed eyes from crying, utter despair on her features- fine? Was she _heck_ fine. But I'd left her anyway. I'd left her alone. I suddenly wondered if she'd been ringing me. I wouldn't know, since my phone battery was dead.

"Break it open." I commanded.

"I'm trying! I don't want to damage the lock!" I could hear the woman frantically pounding the door. "Petra!" She called. "Petra, can you hear me?!"

As I got into the drivers seat and started the engine, Lena wordlessly sank into the passenger seat and took the phone from my hand. She placed the caller on loudspeaker and began speaking calmly down the phone.

"Have you called anyone else?"

"You are the last person I have tried. I've tried everyone I know, and no one knows where she is. I know she was in her apartment because she was texting me a while ago talking about the dog and mentioned she was unpacking at home."

"Have you called an ambulance?"

"I... What if I'm just overreacting I don't know..." The woman mumbled, clearly disorientated.

"Call an ambulance. Best case scenario, you're overreacting. Worst case..." She left a meaningful pause and the person on the other end of the phone hurriedly hung up.

We drove in silence and my mind was racing. Petra, Petra, Petra... I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

Sorry is a conscience that comes too late.

**AN-**

**Things are getting hotter in here.**


	12. Crawling On the Ground Without Dignity

**KURT-**

"Go steady with that." I chided as Luann raised the bottle to her lips again.

"Stop whining, it isn't like I have work tomorrow."

"Yeah but you're in my house. I don't want you throwing up everywhere." She sniffed disdainfully at me and swirled the bottle, watching the television absent mindedly. I turned my attention back to my laptop and continued preparing the presentation for work. I noticed Luann look over to me, before glancing away again. She did this three more times before I deliberately snapped my eyes up to make eye contact. She started, but then settled into a frown.

"What's the issue?"

"Drink with me."

"I'm working."

"Do it tomorrow."

"I have tomorrow's work to do tomorrow."

"Jesus why are you so obsessed with work all the time?" Luann leaned over the back of the sofa and pouted at me. I mentally counted how many drinks she'd had and realised there was a very good chance she was tipsy by now. Great.

"I want to get paid." I countered. "Get back to watching that trash on the TV."

"You haven't drank with me in aaages."

"You'll have to wait a little longer." I ran a hand through my hair in exasperation but she decided then to get up off the sofa and head over to the kitchen table where I was working.

"We used to do everything together. We used to sleep together when we were little. When we were in college, we used to drink together all the time." She pushed the laptop lid down (to which I swallowed my rage) and sat on the stool next to me.

"We got married in the garden too, but neither of us are suggesting to do that again."

"We did!" She gasped, remembering and clasping her hands over her nose.

"And your mum said the things at the 'alter', or tree stump as it was." I smirked. Luann smiled back broadly- the biggest grin I'd seen from her for a while – but it soon vanished from her face. Her eyes darkened and she rested her forehead on the table beside me.

"She did." She mumbled. My eyes softened, watching her. I gently stroked her hair, being careful not to pull.

"She'll be absolutely fine." I said, quietly. Luann nodded a little, but kept her face on the table. "What's bugging you?" It was careful work getting Luann to open up- like picking a lock. One wrong move and you could set off all the alarms. She shook her head slightly. From the amount of time I'd spent with her, I knew what that meant. It meant there _was_ something and she knew she couldn't simply pass it off saying "it's nothing" but she wasn't going to speak about it either. The shake of the head was not a direct answer to any of my questions; it allowed her to respond without giving anything of herself away.

I sighed lightly, continuing to stroke her hair comfortingly as the demon drink drove her deeper into her own thoughts. She didn't cry, nor did she say a word. She sat there beside me unmoving until I finally persuaded her to go to bed.

Once she was safely asleep, I returned to my laptop and began to scroll through emails. I replied to the important ones and saved others for later. It was giving me a headache looking at all the work I had to do. I scanned my eyes across yet another email, before pausing. I re-read the whole thing now that it had properly caught my attention.

_Kurt,_

_I was wondering if you got the invitation since I hadn't heard from you at all. I have attached the invitation to this email. Reply back as soon as you know if you can make it!_

_Hope you and the family are all doing well! I've heard your parents are abroad. Next time they come over here, let us know and we will visit some time._

_Lots of love,_

_Klara Ackerman (soon to be Klara Rutter)xx_

I opened the attachment and read the wedding invitation. Klara, my cousin, clearly had no idea that I didn't live at home with my parent's any more. The invitation was probably on the huge pile of letters my parents would leave on my desk ready for when I came to visit. They were ridiculously tight and refused to send the letters back in the post to my actual address and insisted I wasted petrol to come and get them if they were 'so important'. I quickly typed a reply after checking my availability for the date, before composing a text message of complaint to my mum.

_Klara is having a wedding next month. She sent an invitation to my home address. I wonder why I didn't receive it until now. _

She replied a little later on with:

_Less of the cheek, lazy bones. Is she marrying that suspicious looking man? You'll need a new suit x_

I said: _Don't call him suspicious, it's rude. I wear a suit every day, I don't need a new one. Are you going to the wedding? Do you fly back on Friday? How is the weather? I looked at the forecast and it said it was stormy over there._

To which mum replied: _You need a new one. Your others don't fit you properly. And yes x_

I rolled my eyes and massaged my temples with one hand. Talking to my mum through text was painful. I asked a hundred questions and she would reply with simply- yes. On top of that, I didn't need a new suit but there was a strong chance I was going to get dragged out shopping (along with dad) anyway.

I checked the time and decided to go to bed myself.

"Great," I grunted. "Another night on the air bed."

…

**LENA-**

Levi led the way to his apartment, sprinting down the streets until he reached the building and barged inside. He skidded to a halt as I abruptly stopped behind him. He eyed the lift, then the staircase.

"I'll take the lift and you take the staircase." I made the decision for him and hastily pressed the button.

"Floor five, door 58." He didn't wait to deliberate any further, charging up the stairs. It was clear at that speed he'd be there before the lift even arrived. It turned out that it was a good decision for him to take the stairs, as the lift stopped off at three other floors before making its way to me. I calmed nerves I didn't even know I was feeling by poking my fingers through the dog cage and stroking Pepsi. He watched me with black, beady eyes before nibbling on my finger. "Aish, you bastard." I cursed.

Eventually, the lift doors opened and I exited onto the fifth floor, searching for the correct door. It wasn't hard to spot. It was the only open door on the corridor and I could hear clattering from inside. I jogged down the corridor, keeping the cage relatively still. Once inside, I lowered the cage onto the floor and hesitantly looked around. My friend, who had called me and recommended my services to the owner of Pepsi, was on her knees outside what appeared to be the bathroom. She was breathing rapidly with a mobile pressed to her ear. I noticed tears running down her cheeks.

The woman stuttered unintelligible words down the line and wheezed shaky breaths. I slowly made my way over to where she was and looked into the room before her. At first, I spotted Levi stood eerily still. His shoulders rose and fell sharply with his fast breathing. I followed his gaze and immediately my eyes swelled as they absorbed the scene before me.

The woman who had delivered the dog to me, Levi's girlfriend, was laid on the floor. Laid still. Laid as pale and still as the dead. Only a second afterwards, Levi collapsed to his knees and began to tap her shoulder gently.

"Petra?" He whispered, voice cracking. "Petra." He called again, louder. I snapped into action and removed the phone from the woman's hand, giving her a small hug of comfort. I stepped away from the bathroom.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hello, who is this? I need you to check if the woman is breathing."

"I'm a friend. I have just arrived here." I looked over to Levi, but he seemed in no state to be answering questions. Instead, I walked into the room and bent down beside the woman. I put the phone on loudspeaker and leant forward to check if the woman was breathing.

After several seconds, I felt a weak rush of air tickle my cheek and saw her chest rise. I quickly picked up the phone again.

"She's breathing. Weakly."

"Good. I need you to keep checking and let me know. Have a look around and tell me what you see." I scanned my eyes around the room. Shower, sink, open cupboard... My eyes stopped on the cupboard and I glanced inside. Standing to my feet, I spotted several packets of tablets in the sink and a glass half filled with water.

"Tablets. I think it was tablets."

"Can you find the packet?"

"Ibuprofen."

"Can you count how many of the tablets are left or how many have been used?" Once again I lowered the phone and fumbled with the packets, counting each sheet for how many had been opened.

"... twelve... sixteen... seventeen. Seventeen." I confirmed, checking for more packets on the floor.

"Can you check if she's breathing once more?" The operator asked. I did so, moving past Levi who was still trying to wake her up.

"She's breathing."

"How old is she?

"Levi," I snapped him out of his daze and he focussed on me. "Age?"

"Ah... twenty six." He said.

"Weight?" I repeated from the operator. He paused.

"About... 55kg."

I relayed other information back and forth to the operator as Levi pleaded with her to wake up. The other woman was sobbing on the floor outside of the bathroom until I directed her to wait downstairs for the paramedics to show them to the correct room. When eventually they came, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and felt my legs collapse from under me. The next thing I knew, we were in the back of an ambulance on the way to the hospital. I laid a hand on Levi's back, rubbing comforting circles between his shoulder blades.

He never once rose his head.

…

**LEVI-**

"_\- Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome back. Our next guest claims his wife has been repeatedly going out seeing other men and doesn't come home most nights a week-"_

"There was supposed to be a big rugby match today, wasn't there? One of my friends, Guthrie, really likes rugby. He wouldn't shut up about it." Lena chatted nervously.

"_\- His wife is now pregnant, but he can't trust her word that the baby is his. Today, our DNA and lie detector tests will decide if Jamie will break up with his wife for good, or stay together and learn to trust her.-"_

"I wonder if we can change channels..." She glanced across the waiting room and picked up some torn magazines to look beneath them. "I'm not watching this trash."

"_\- So you've admitted that you've cheated once before? And you're still willing to be married to this woman?!_

_It wasn't cheating. I never slept with the guy._

_Oh so that's makes it okay, does it? Your husband has no faith in you and that's not your fault?-"_

"I hate this kind of show. How depressing. Why do people like watching it? They basically take a few waste of space people from their council flats and watch them perform on a stage."

A child ran past with his mother quickly following behind, yelling at the misbehaving sod to stand still.

"_\- I still love her. I just want to know the truth.-"_

"They probably get paid more for the most dramatic performance. I wonder-"

"LENA!" I snapped. Most of the room jumped in their seats and turned to see what was going on. I took a deep, shuddering breath and muttered under my breath- "Shut up. Please." She froze, then slowly turned back to face directly forwards and played with her fingernails. She didn't speak another word.

I told her to go home several times, but she would just shake her head stubbornly. She didn't speak any more to me, and I half missed the background noise now that the television had been turned off at some point and Lena was no longer trying to fill the silence between us. Once she got up to go to the toilet, and another time she left, returning with two cups of hot chocolate. Handing one to me wordlessly, I nodded in thanks. I noticed her eyes occasionally flicker in my direction, where they'd hover for a while before entertaining themselves elsewhere. She picked up a magazine and began to fill in a sudoku, while the room we were sat in began to empty of people.

A while later, I realised that I had fallen asleep. My eyes felt heavy and I slowly opened them and tried to regain my bearings. With a start, I noticed that I was leant against something soft and sat up to inspect the object, which turned out to be Lena's shoulder. Her own eyes were steadily shutting. I lifted myself from her shoulder and she blinked quickly.

"Morning." She muttered. "Or, more like, bad morning. I would never call waking up at 1am a good morning."

"Is that the time?" I yawned, stretching my back out until it clicked. It certainly felt like that time. My entire body felt like iron. My joints were rusty and unused and it took more effort than it should just to stand up and get some blood to my legs. "Why is it so damn busy?" I cursed, noticing the flood of people hurrying down corridors.

"People still do stupid things at stupid o'clock." She replied. After my pause, she hastily continued in case I had thought she was referring to Petra's incident as 'stupid'. "I once had to go to hospital with my friend at 3am. We were having a party at her house and she decided, drunk, to cut pizza with the sharpest, biggest knife in the house. She screamed the entire way there, thinking that she was going to lose her thumb. It was fine though." I half-smiled to show that I was listening, and she continued. "And then one time I had to stay in hospital overnight because I fell off a horse. Well, actually, the vicious bastard kicked me off."

"It hadn't been trained properly." I muttered, then froze. I had said that without thinking... but that felt somehow... real? A memory?

"Levi Ackerman?" Someone called. I sat up sharply and scrambled to my feet.

"I'm here." I replied, striding to the doctor's side.

…

**PETRA-**

I opened my eyes and found myself in a hospital bed. I didn't work. I was still here. I don't want to be here. I sat up, heart racing, chest aching, organs in a mess of pain and soreness, scrambling for the wires attached to me with weak hands. In a flash, a pair of hands stopped me.

"Petra." He said. I stopped moving and looked up into his eyes. His worn out eyes. His exhausted, heavy, dark eyes. "Petra." He said again, voice cracking. "Is this my fault?" He grasped my hands in his and sighed deeply, resting his face into my shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He repeated over and over.

"Levi." I choked out the words. "Let's break up."

**AN:**

**Sorry that it's late. And short. I kind of went on holiday. Sorry, hehe...**

**Anyway. A few revelations in this chapter! Hopefully it has changed your mind entirely about what type of a story this is... I had a lot of people telling me to reduce the amount of LevixPetra stuff, but it's essential in the whole background to this story... You can tell anyway that they ain't happy.**

**Until next time! Thanks for reviewing and reading!**


	13. What Are Your Wings For?

He sat rigidly and stared at me, eyes wide. I had never seen him like this before, and a part of me never wanted to let him go. I wanted him to stay like this, beside me, forever.

The expression on his face, however, brought me crashing into reality- we had to break up. This was killing him as much as it was killing me. I loved him so much that I felt like I'd never be able to move on. I loved him so much... that I knew he didn't love me. Not really. He liked me enough to not want to hurt me and to be content with staying beside me. Yet now, looking into his worn out eyes and feeling my consciousness slip away, I realised that it was only me holding onto this relationship. I was holding on so tightly that the bones in my fingers were breaking and I was scraping my nails so hard into his skin that it drew blood. I was hurting myself by holding on, and it was hurting him to watch me.

This had to end.

"I'm breaking up with you. I want you to leave here now and stay away from me for a while."

"Petra, what are you saying?"

"I promise I won't do anything like this again... but I can't stay with you any longer." He paused, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish as he tried to find a response.

"... Take a few days, Petra. Think it over and give yourself time to calm down-"

"Levi, I've been thinking it over for months." I said, voice cracking. "I'll be fine, so just leave." He drew away from me and stood up. His expression was not as I expected. It was empty, eyes blank and down cast.

"Will you promise me that this is what you want?" He began, slowly. I could tell that he was taking time to chose his words.

"I promise."

"And you'll look after yourself?"

"I will."

"And you'll text me if you need me?"

"Of course."

"... and you definitely think this is the only way?"

"I do." The whole time we had been together, I had been dreaming of saying those words.

But not like that.

…

_I walk along a darkened path,_

_Green ivy climbing up the walls._

_With you in my heart, I carry on_

_With a heart so heavy, it falls._

_There's one in my heart and two in my head_

_and a kaleidoscope of shades of green._

…

**GUTHRIE-**

I lifted my foot from the ground to inspect the furry thing I had just stepped upon. The cat grumpily got to its feet and waddled away in search of another, more comfortable spot to catch some zds.

"She'll have forgotten." I said to Kurt, replacing my foot on the floor before another cat managed to swipe the spot beneath my chair. "We did plan this a while back."

"I messaged her about it twice last night, and I've none stop called her from about an hour ago. She hasn't replied to any of them. If she's gone out to work, I swear-"

"I'll try calling her. She told us she booked the day off with all her jobs. She'll have just forgotten, you know what she's like." I rummaged in my rucksack for my mobile and began to unlock the device with a few swipes of one finger.

"We've had this day planned for ages." Kurt complained, furiously chewing on the breakfast he had ordered from the café, which was pretty much stone cold from all the complaining he'd done instead of eating. "It's a nice day, too. I don't get many days off. And if we don't set off soon, it won't be worth the travel time."

I didn't reply, waiting for my phone to dial. Just as I thought that she wasn't going to pick up, the dialling tone stopped.  
"Lena?"

"Oh, Guthrie, hey. What's up?"

"What do you mean, what's up?!" Kurt overheard and shouted so that the microphone would pick him up. It was a good job the café was empty at this time in the day.

"You've really forgotten." I sighed. Lena paused, and then I heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Ah..." She mumbled, guiltily.  
"Where are you?" I let a little smile spread over my face.

"You'll have to go without me..." Her voice seemed... different. "I'm really sorry, but I'm in the hospital right now."

"What? Why?" A small gram of panic filled my system at the mention of the word, 'hospital'.

"It's not me... A friend of mine, he... Uh..." Kurt raised an eyebrow at me. I just shrugged, waiting for Lena to explain. "Well, he's not really a friend and I've only just met him but his... ahh, I really can't tell you. Sorry."

"So you can't come?"

"No, I'm really sorry. Oh, Levi!" She called. The commotion on the other side of the line told me someone else had just arrived. Her voice became slightly muffled. "Is she?... Thank god. Want me to go to your house and fetch you some clothes to stay over?.. You're not staying? Oh, hang on. Guthrie?"

"Still here."

"Go without me. I'm really sorry. We'll have to go out another time. See you!"

"Bye-" I replied, but the line was already dead. "She sounds busy."

"Too busy for us?" Kurt huffed.

"She's in the hospital." I explained.

"Why?" Kurt immediately shot back.

"I don't really know. She said something about her friend... It sounds like she's okay."

Kurt simply pouted. I began to pack away my phone and stood to leave.

"Hey hey, where are you going?"

"Home?"

"I've got a full day off now. Let's do something at least, or I'll drive myself mad with marking."

"Like what?"

"Come over to mine. I'll kick your backside on Mario Kart."  
"You still own that game?!" I laughed.

"Luann likes it." He shrugged. I raised a knowing eyebrow at him, which he instantly dismissed.

"How often is that girl at your house?" I teased.

"Too often. And before you say anything, she comes to mine every time she gets depressed over some other guy. I'm like the gay best friend."

"You're only in the friend zone because you never try and move out of it."

"The last thing she needs is _another_ guy after her. And you can't talk- make your move on Lena!" I felt my cheeks warm uncomfortably.

"I try..." I muttered.

"You're so weak." Kurt laughed. "All you brains went to your muscles."

"She seems distant recently. I never know what she's up to any more."

"Stalker?"

"No, seriously. She rarely messages us any more."

"Probably all your whining about her jobs."

"Probably." I sighed, resigning myself to the knowledge that Lena was becoming extremely irritated with me recently. She couldn't mention her jobs before I sprang onto her back about working in that pub. What was I supposed to do though? I'd been in that pub a fair few times... and it'd be kind to say that the atmosphere was rowdy. It'd be the truth to say it was down right mayhem- a dangerous place to work. I was trying to help her, but she was stubbornly refusing my every word.

We stood to leave, Kurt reluctantly lifting a cat from his lap and placing it on the floor. He rubbed off some of the hairs from his shirt and waved to the waiter at the counter before he left. The journey to Kurt's house always seemed to last forever, because it was sod's law that we'd hit every traffic light and get caught in every line of congestion on the way. Every time.

It left me to ponder over Lena. How do you get the attention of someone who you've always been a background character to? I was Friend A of a romance novel. The poor guy with a crush on the protagonist. The trouble is, every time I tried to get close to her, I'd feel guilty. I'd feel like I was misusing her trust in me. I'd once mentioned this to Kurt, and all he'd done is huff over the fact that I was putting her happiness before my own. The sad thing was, we were both in the same position. He'd never voiced his thoughts, but I could tell from the way he looked at her. It wasn't the cliched romantic, lustful stare. It was a glance here, a sigh there, and a whole lot of worrying on her behalf that he wouldn't voice. He was her silent protector, but he wouldn't involve himself in anything she didn't want him to know about. I didn't get what he saw in the damn girl. She was nasty, stubborn and thought that everyone she encountered was a piece on a chess board that she could play. She'd probably be casting _me_ seductive glances if my pay check was twice what it was.

But then, my work friend that I often complained to had asked what _I_ saw in _Lena_. Oblivious, impatient and hardly 'womanly'. I asked him to define 'womanly', and he gesticulated around the chest until I hit him.

"Well, a woman depends on you now and again. A woman asks for your wallet to buy a new dress. She'll cry on your shoulder. Your lass just ignores you. Plus, she looks like she could take on a bull."

"She's not half as strong as she likes to think." I commented. "But don't tell her I said that."

"Have you ever even argued with her?"  
"No, why?" I had raised a curious eyebrow. He had asked like it wasn't something to be proud of- which I was.

"My ex girlfriend once said that not arguing with someone is as good as saying you're 'just friends'. Best friends argue. Husbands and wives argue. Those colleagues you only see twice a week are the ones you simply ignore if they say something you disagree with. It's hard to explain, but I kind of get what she meant."

"How am I getting romance advice from your _ex_-girlfriend?" I grumbled. He shrugged.

"At least I've got an ex-girlfriend."

"Ring Lena again and ask if she wants to come over later." Kurt interrupted my thoughts.

"She seemed busy."

"Just ring her." I gave him a look, which he ignored stubbornly. I cursed him under my breath, but began to dial her number anyway. She answered almost immediately.

"What's up?"

"Uh, we're going over to Kurt's house. Do you want to come over later?" There was a pause on the other end, then I heard her mutter to someone. A moment later, she replied.

"I've got a few things to do... I'll call you later."

"Okay." I replied, meekly. Kurt glanced across and sighed theatrically when I put my phone away.

"You see, this is why you're single." He grunted.

"Practice what you preach."

**LEVI-**

Lena pushed the phone back into her pocket, until it rang for the third time and she cursed dramatically.

"Guthrie!" She swore, until she read the screen. "Ema?... Christ! It's that time?!... Can't mum take you?..." She sighed, irritatedly. "I'm coming. I'll write you a note for your teacher."

"What's up?" I asked casually once she had removed the phone from her ear.

"I need to take my sister to school."

"Want me to pick her up now?" I offered. She deliberated, clearly not wanting to trouble me. I decided to make the decision for her. "Look, we'll pick her up now, go to school, back to mine and you can pick up your stuff. Then, I'll drive you home."

"But-"

"Listen, that's the easiest way. Unless you want her to teleport there."

"... Okay. Thanks a lot."

She directed me to their house, which turned out not to be a house at all. It was an apartment block, like mine... which reminded me. One of us was going to have to move out now. I cut short my thoughts and pulled up opposite the apartments. She got out and told me to wait, while I drummed my fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. I wasn't annoyed at her, I just wanted to get home and drown out the thoughts whirring around my head. It was giving me a headache to drive. A few minutes later, she exited the building again dragging a young girl behind her. The girl had the same fluffy-textured light brown hair, except it was much longer and wilder. She was frowning angrily, but this soon switched to a look of surprise when she locked eye contact with me. I couldn't hear her from across the street, but I saw her lips clearly ask 'who's he?'. To which, Lena waved her hand in the air vaguely and muttered something back.

"Sorry about the trouble..." Lena apologised again as she swung herself into the front seat and immediately turned to check that the girl was applying her seat belt. "This is my sister, Ema."

"I'm Levi." I grunted, feeling obliged to introduce myself after the look of weariness that she gave me. I saw her nod through the rear-view mirror. I checked the road was clear and pulled back into the flow of traffic.

"Are you taking me to that pet shop again?" Ema almost whispered to Lena.

"I've got loads to do today." She replied immediately.

"Liar." Ema said. I glanced across at Lena, who was biting her tongue with a face that looked like she had swallowed a lemon.

"I have a lot to do. We will have to go another day." She said as calmly as she could manage. It appeared that the sisters didn't get on too well.

"I know that you booked today off work." I tried to distract myself with the road to ignore their family 'discussion', but that was a little difficult given the situation.

"I've barely slept all night, Ema. Things have happened."

"You won't sleep _all _day. Plus, you stay up all night most nights."

"For work."

"Same thing." Ema grumbled. "You're still awake."

"You don't need to go today."

"But I want to. They've got puppies there."

"Ema. I said no." Lena's tone was becoming sharper and the both of them were past the stage of faking politeness.

"You always say no!" The girl rose her voice, exaggerated by the fact that we had stopped at traffic lights.

"Because I'm ff- I'm busy!" There was a swarm of words in her mouth that she wanted to release, but she was biting back as much as she could. "EMA. We'll talk later!" Lena growled ferociously, now rubbing her right shoulder uncomfortably. I followed her hand with my gaze, watching the familiar action take place and suddenly feeling like the world had slowed down. Lena gave her final set of directions to me and I moved the car towards the school entrance, trying to keep my eyes off her. Still, I couldn't place this feeling. Lena was a very new and very random jigsaw piece that had appeared before me. I couldn't find where she fit into the puzzle, but I knew that she belonged somewhere. She was _someone _to me. I just hadn't got a fucking clue _what._

The little girl was out of the car before I'd fully stopped and she slammed the door. Lena opened her own door and yelled after her about manners. My eyes followed her collar bone, watched it dip and curve across her chest. I moved my eyes up to something else that fascinated me as I tried to read her body for clues to myself- until we locked eye contact. I started, but did not look away, waiting for her to respond.

"Sorry about her..." She said, writhing under my stare. Her eyes darted about, always returning to rest on mine but unable to hold contact for long. I finally looked away and shrugged.  
"Let's go back to mine for your bag."

For whatever reason, I returned to a house full of people who swarmed me as soon as I stepped through the door. Petra and Lena's useless friend from earlier was still there, sobbing her story to a sympathetic herd of women encircling her.

"Are you her husband?" One woman came up to me from the herd and grasped my shoulders. "Is she okay?"

"She'll... be okay." I responded, hoping my words were true at least.

"Why aren't you with her?" The woman from earlier asked. "Did you come to get her things?"

"No, I-"

"A lot has happened." Lena interrupted me. "We've got the number for the ward she's in so once we've given you all contact details, Levi probably wants some time alone."

"What happened though? Was it really...?" A woman I half-recognised as our neighbour asked. I swallowed past a lump in my throat and dodged my way through the people to the sofa. I spotted Kola inside the cage, completely abandoned in the confusion.

"What would make her want to do that?" Another voice asked. The room echoed with questions until the room began to spin and my ears ached.

"She seemed fine!"

"I only saw her yesterday."

"She mentioned that her and the boyfriend were going through a rough stage..."

"He doesn't seem very friendly."

"Actually, he doesn't seem very mournful. What's he doing home already when something like this has happened?"

"ENOUGH!" Lena yelled over them. "GET OUT, PLEASE!" She commanded, physically removing people from the room and following them out. The door closed and I heard her offer them the hospital details. More questions persisted, but it was slightly quieter now. My head settled. I let Kola outside of his cage and dropped some biscuits into his bowl. A moment later, Lena returned.

"Thank you." I said, softly. She blushed a little.

"It's nothing."

"Sit down for a while." I offered. "I need to sort your payment out and you're probably tired."

"Ah, thanks. Sorry for intruding."

"Tea?"

"... Have you got hot chocolate?" She smirked, hopefully. I snorted and began to make her a drink. Once it was done, I handed it to her where she sat on the sofa.

"I'll be two minutes." I said, walking into the bedroom.

Before picking up my wallet, I plugged in my phone and it restarted. Whilst I waited for it to turn on, I counted out the notes on my bed. It was no more than a second later when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Finally, Levi!" I realised with a pang of irritation that it was my boss. "Where are you?"

"I'm sorry but there's been an emergency. I can't get into work today."

"Really? What's happened? Why have you only just answered?"  
"I've been at the hospital all night and my phone was dead. I've just got home to charge it."

"The hospital? Are you okay?" Oh, spare me your fake worries.

"Yeah, I'm fine... My girlfriend... ah... She's in hospital..."

"Really? Well, just keep me informed. I hope she recovers quickly."

"Sorry about that." I said again, before hanging up.

Another row of notifications flooded the screen of my phone and I made the mistake of opening the menu...

_12 unread messages from Petra Ral_

There were others too, but my attention was drawn immediately to those. My fingers had tapped open one message before I had chance to think about whether I really wanted to see the content of those messages. I could read the most recent message as the screen loaded... and that was all I wanted to read.

_You could have done more. I could have done less. Levi, I don't want saving._

I threw my phone onto the bed with more violent intentions than the 'dmph' indicated. My head was a mess. I was bursting with anger and sorrow and self contempt. I slid onto the floor and rested my head in my hands, drawing my knees close to my chest. I stayed like that for a minute, until I remembered Lena outside and staggered to my feet, hazily. Grabbing the money, I opened the bedroom door and walked back over to her. As I approached, I noticed that she was slumped into her hand, which rested on the arm of the sofa. Still relatively sat upright, she had dozed off.

I began to tiptoe to her and coughed experimentally. She didn't respond. She was definitely asleep. I wasn't surprised- I was dead on my feet, too. I set the money on the table next to her drink and carefully slid her arm from under her face so that she leaned on the sofa arm. Being careful not to wake her, I lifted her feet up onto the sofa so that she was laid across it. She breathed deeper, almost sighing in her sleep, before settling again. After finding her bag and placing it where she could see it, I headed to my own room to sleep.

Though, sleep was a peaceful term to describe the hours of nightmares that awaited me.

_He fell, cool air brushing his cheeks and dark hair, though it did nothing to cool his burning heart. It pounded in his chest- the pound of battle drums. The vibrations trembled through him and shocked every one of his nerves into life. Gas burst out and he swooped down again, diving in a parabolic curve into empty space. He didn't like this- not one bit. He was on edge._

_Shadows flashed across his face as a blast of sunlight forced it's way through the treetops that struggled out of the darkness. He raised his head to the sky, trying to find it behind the fog of leaves that hung dense just above him. Something about the air choked him. Usually, the best air he had ever breathed lay just beyond the walls humanity had enclosed themselves within. Now, something was catching in the back of his throat and making him gag._

_Death._

_He'd smelt it before- tasted it, even. He had become inure to it's rancid stench, it's overwhelming ability to scrape down the back of the throat and swirl in the stomach to make the body heave. It had taken awhile, but he was used to it... For the most part._

_But here, the stench was different and growing closer with every push forward._

_A body._

_The man's eyes snapped towards the figure hung upside down, lifelessly. He recognised that figure. With a jolt, he changed directions and darted over. As he got closer, the sickness grew. Gunther. His neck had been slashed. Not by a titan. By a sword, he was sure. Gunther. The man was hung upside down by his own weapons, a look of shock still present on his face. Eyes darkening, the man continued on his way._

_There was no time for grief._

_The image of his comrade mercilessly strung from the trees had still not wiped itself from his retinas, but he carried on relentlessly, thinking of the rest of the human race who were still fighting-_

_Another one._

_Oh God. Another one. Eld... or what was left of him. The grass beneath his corps was stained a rusty red, weighed down with clumps of tissue and skin torn from it's original place. Blood still dribbled from where his body had been severed in half. Bone could be seen protruding from within the crimson mess. His spine jutted out, splintered and shattered; its usual whiteness had been dyed red. An organ, probably the liver, had slid out onto the grass and laid there like a piece of meat in a butchers._

_The man kept on going, swallowing back the sickness that threatened to erupt from inside him. It didn't take long before his retinas were scratched eternally with another image- Oluo. Another one dead. The man drove onwards again, eyes widened and burning with dehydration as he resisted closing his eyes. If he closed his eyes, he'd see it again. Please, he thought, let me get there in time for-_

_Petra. Crushed against the bark of a tree with such force that the tree itself had cracked and her blood mingled with tree sap. Her eyes looked up at him for the last time, though she wouldn't have known it. She was pale. So very pale. The ruby stain across her face was made so much more apparent, so much more memorable, by her complexion. Dead. Hair pushed back from her face to reveal lifeless eyes... Eyes he would take with him to the grave._

_**The reunion without words.**_

**AN:**

**I don't usually explain my intentions but for once, you can read on if you want!**

**Extract from HTMFIL there, signifying the consistencies between the two stories even though they're set in completely different times. In the original SNK, Petra died and Levi feels he shares part of the blame. The same has occurred here, except she was saved. This is just a hint, but there are more cross links between the story that I hope you will pick up on ;) There's always a twist though. **

**Sorry about the wait! I need to start planning out the next phase because I had this part planned, and then a part later, but nothing in the middle... so I was typing slow and got behind... And now I've reached the point of spontaneous writing which is okay temporarily, but eventually I need to lead into my next plot or I'll end up going off a tanget.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	14. Isn't the Sky too Narrow for You?

I was shocked back into consciousness with a jump by the fire alarm sounding. My eyes flashed open and I sat up, head swaying with a throbbing pain appearing instantaneously in my forehead. As I made my way to the door, I heard the sound of panicked swearing and the flapping of air.

I opened the door to a woman jumping up and down under the fire alarm, furiously wafting a towel under the sensor and cursing at it. I closed my eyes for a second and breathed deeply. The scene had barely changed when I opened my eyes. I sighed heavily and dragged a chair across the room towards the alarm. The woman, who I eventually recognised to be Lena, stopped swearing and began apologising. I opened the fire alarm and popped out the batteries onto the floor. Looking at down at the woman, I gave her a look of irritation.

"S-sorry..." She said. "I woke up and thought I'd make you a thank you meal and then leave, but..." My gaze followed hers across to the microwave where smoke was leaking out from.

"What the hell did you do?"

"I don't even know..." She mumbled. Sighing once more, I tutted at her and began to fling open all the windows.

"What time is it?" I muttered, flopping onto the sofa with an _umph_.

"Just gone two o'clock. I'll be on my way now, sorry again."

"How are you going to get home?" I asked.

"I'll catch the bus."

"Do you know if there's a bus from my apartment to yours?"

"... No." She admitted. "I'll head to the bus station and then-"  
"I'll drive you. What time does your sister need picking up?"

"Half three." She responded immediately, before charging into a list of pleasantries and polite declinations to my offer which I had not yet voiced. I subsequently ignored them all. "Stay here until 3 o'clock then I'll take both of you back."

"But-!"

"Take a shower." I added, getting up to fetch her a towel. "You can use Petra's stuff." I surprised myself that I managed to say that sentence without a break in my voice or a stutter.  
"Levi seriously-"

"Here," I thrust the sand coloured towel beneath her nose. Strangely, she was avoiding my eyes. Well, she was avoiding looking at me altogether. I raised a curious eyebrow, until I realised that I wasn't wearing a shirt. I had taken it off to sleep in. Fortunately, I was wearing trousers. Yes, partially undone, but still covering the necessary parts. I tossed the towel at her face so that she had no choice to catch it. Then I grabbed some fresh clothes of mine, pushing her into the bathroom and throwing the stuff in after her.

"Levi!" She whined in complaint as I shut the door.

"It's my clothes, not Petra's..." I said. She didn't ask why and I would bet that she could guess. "Shout me if you need anything." Thinking about it, it sounded slightly strange to say that I'd just forced a woman to stay at my house, pushed her into my shower and insisted on driving her home. Especially when I'd known her a matter of days.

It didn't feel like that, though.

**LENA-**

I was astonished at the amount of trust I had in Levi. I'd even nearly forgotten to lock the bathroom door. Now, letting the hot water splash onto my face, I was feeling considerably relaxed. Even when I had stayed at Guthrie's house, I had been on full alert. If a man so much as walked by my side on the path for more than five paces, I was scoping out my escape routes. Though I wasn't feeling relaxed earlier. It was probably my fault for waking him suddenly with the fire alarm, but it was likely to have been a bigger shock for me when I saw the guy wearing nothing but trousers. It wasn't the first time I'd seen a guy topless- I wasn't a primary school kid. I'd seen Guthrie and Kurt countless times in such a condition and thought of it no more than something to poke fun at. Kurt was as flat as an ironing board, which he had countered with saying 'does that make two of us then?'.

The problem was, I didn't see Levi in the same way as I saw Kurt and Guthrie, or even those Calvin Klein models in magazines. Levi was different. I probably had a _tiny little _thing for him, but I'd have to smother that spark pretty quickly since he had a girlfriend. But it was only a little crush. Just a little one...

_I'm naked in his house. I'm **naked** in his **fucking** house._

Water ran down my back and I scrubbed my hair with my fingernails. I felt filthy. It wasn't like me to go more than 12 hours without a shower, but after everything that had happened, I hadn't had time. I looked around for some sort of soap or shower gel... The side was lined with bottles, some decorated in pink with flowers and names such as 'Beautifying Blackcurrant' and 'Soothing Strawberries', the others were in black or blue bottles named 'shower gel'. Clearly gender differences there. Unless Levi used the soothing strawberry formulas. The thought made me chuckle.

I picked up one of the black bottles, because using Petra's stuff made me feel... on edge. I was in her house with her boyfriend using her stuff... The thought didn't sit well with me. So I used as little liquid as possible and showered with Levi's shampoo and shower gel instead. A few minutes later, I stepped out onto the bath mat feeling content and refreshed. I dried off and slipped on Levi's blue dress shirt. I couldn't help but notice the scent of washing powder with a hint of his own smell lingering on the fabric. It was a pleasant smell. I places a small dry towel around my shoulders so that I didn't dampen the shirt with my wet hair, before pulling on the pair of trousers Levi had left for me. The shirt had been a nice fit, since Levi was barely taller than myself, but the trousers were a little large all round. _Maybe I should just put back on my own clothes..._

I picked up my shirt and sniffed it gingerly... Maybe not. Once I was dressed and had rubbed my hair dry as much as possible, I left the bathroom...

To find Levi fast asleep on the sofa.

_**How the Mighty Fall (in Love)- Year 851**_

"Good," Levi let go of Luca's hair. "Start talking when you're ready then."

Levi stalked around to the front of Luca and dragged another chair before him to sit on. Luca moaned slightly and spat out blood from his mouth to allow him to speak. He swallowed.

"The scouting legion are preparing a rebellion against the King." Luca started to tell his story, loathing himself more with every word. However, he wasn't about to stop talking. He'd been submitted to this torture for days on end, possibly weeks. He'd tell them _almost _everything he knew in hopes that they'd let him go. That was his plan anyway. It was that or more hours of Levi taking his anger out on him. "We, the Military Police, know that. Do you have any idea how much havoc that would cause?!"

"What Erwin decides to do is up to him." Levi simply shrugged. "You know I'm not interested in that." Luca paused, wondering where to go next.

"I don't understand why though."

"There's no need for you to. Keep talking. Tell me about your father."

"He was a farmer and a good man."

"Cut the crap and get to the good shit." Levi immediately snapped. This guy was able to wind him up far too easily, but then again, since _that day_ Levi had been irritated almost constantly. There was something inside him, chewing away at his organs and grating on his mind. Every day he felt weaker. Every day he felt less like himself.

"My father was into researching the Wall Cult and Titans. He worked for your bastard of a commander." Levi's eyebrows rose sharply. Finally, some good information. "Then a few days before the wall broke, he up and left quickly. He said he had discovered something vital. Once I joined the MP, I was immediately put on the special forces unit when they discovered who my father was. My mission was to capture him. My motivation... Well, I'm sure Lena told you." The name stung Levi in the chest. He didn't let his face show it.

"She told me that you'd been blackmailed. They told you that they were holding your mother and sister captive until you found him."

"Exactly. They said it was assurance that I wouldn't betray them and tell their secrets, and that Mum and Ema were living safely somewhere inside the walls."

"Except they weren't."  
"Even so, I would have stayed in the MP. They're stopping a war that the legion are trying to stir up. Your organisation is ruining the peace in our walls!"

"I'm not here for political arguments." Levi strode forward and bent down inches away from Luca's face. "What happened next?" Luca paused, biting back information. Levi noticed this, and an aura of threat burned around him.

"We never found him. My bosses suspect that the scouting legion have him, and all the evidence points that way. That's why we infiltrated your squad."

"Is that so..." Levi muttered, eyebrows raised. He knew where he had to go next. "Well, I feel like I should spare you a piece of information for your hard work." Luca narrowed his eyes. "Your sister... She died in action on the last expedition." Levi stayed only long enough to view his expression, before he left. The pain on Luca's face resonated anger within him- this guy had been a part of torturing his own sister, had no qualms in abandoning her, and then showed an expression like that. An expression that reverberated a shiver down Levi's spine.

Because he recognised Luca's face as his own.

He locked the prison door closed and began the long walk up to Erwin's office from the basement. He had questions. He passed Eren's room cell and paused... An idea throbbed in the back of his head. If the scouting legion really did have Lena's dad... then where would he be? Levi knew the rest of this corridor was lined with prison cells, but had never ventured any further in. He knew that the entire facility was dotted with skilled guardsmen. Why _skilled_?, he suddenly thought. Why were there always skilled soldiers along the corridor which usually only contained Eren and a few low-class criminals awaiting tribunal elsewhere? Levi remembered the time when Petra and Erd were removed form his squad for a day to serve their turn on guards duty. Shouldn't this be a rookie job? None of them posed a threat, and the guards never served outside the cells anyway. They were always placed at the doorways in the centre of the corridor.

They weren't keeping an eye on prisoners at all. They weren't stopping anyone from getting out...

They were stopping people form getting in.

_**The Chemicals Keeping Us Together- Present Day**_

**LENA-**

I'd stacked a whole packet of cheese crackers on Levi's body before I deemed it time to wake him up. The temptation had been too great, seeing him lying there so innocently. On top of that, I'd kind of become used to his presence. Before, I felt like I was in a stranger's home but that sort of cautiousness was wearing away. It was 14:47 and I was bored of piling crackers onto his nose and feet.

I leant forward towards his ear and began to blow. Instantly, Levi twitched, then woke up in surprise. He twisted his head sharply away from the unpleasant sensation of cool air down his ear, causing the crackers to scatter all over the sofa. He looked around, dazed, until he caught my eyes. He paused for a long time, staring into my eyes. I suddenly regretted the closeness of our faces, as his staring triggered my face into full on blush mode. His eyes roamed down to his feet, where there were piles of crackers slowly slipping. Then, he looked towards the floor where there was a scattering of crackers that had fell.

"Did you just..." He began, eyebrows furrowing first in confusion, then in disgust.

"I got bored," I said, defensively.

"And you thought you'd wreck my house?"

"It's not wrecked..." I pouted, feeling a sense of guilt bubble inside me.

"There's crackers everywhere. If just _one _of them is trodden into my carpet, I swear-" _CRUNCH. _Pepsi looked up at us and I could have sworn he looked guilty as hell. He then continued to nibble on the cracker, watching the both of us with eyes that said 'don't shout at me please'. My eyes probably said exactly the same as I looked at Levi's seething expression. He sat up gingerly and ran a hand through his black hair, exasperated. "Help me tidy up. Just so you know, I HATE mess."

"Message received loud and clear." I said in a small voice, beginning to pick up the crackers. Levi crouched next to me and a few times, our hands touched by accident. I refrained from speaking in case I put my foot in it, so to speak. After a few minutes, he sighed.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to snap."  
"Sorry..." I muttered in reply. Levi put down the crumbs he was holding onto the table beside us and looked at me.

"Lena-" He began, but stopped. He sniffed the air like a cat who'd caught the scent of catnip. His eyes flickered over to me again and he leaned forward, sniffing the air delicately. My muscles froze as he came towards my neck and breathed in. His breath tickled my neck.

"Are you wearing my shower gel?"

"Y-yes!" I stuttered as he leant back in for another sniff.

"I can't smell it when I wear it... I didn't realise it smelt this good."

My mouth became drier than the crackers in my hand, my eyes wider than the damn dog's. He was _so _close. I could feel his hair on my shoulders. He drew back slightly so that he could meet my eyes, and I could have sworn his pupils dilated. His mouth opened a little, tongue sweeping across his lips. Without thinking, a daring part of me flared up inside. I leant forward towards him, testing my luck. The gap between our faces shrank and he didn't move away. I kept my eyes trained on his, trying to read his expression. His deep brown, almost black eyes weren't giving out any messages. He was reading me, like I was reading him. My own eyes weren't far from closing at this point as my vision separated into two. I closed the gap between Levi and I, two strangers joined together by chance. Coincidence.

My lips locked on his, and his hands immediately knotted their way into my wet hair. It wasn't a passionate kiss. It wasn't hot and powerful. It was tentative and nervous. Neither of us really knew what we were doing or even if we _should _be doing it. But we were anyway. I took a breath and deepened the kiss, shuffling closer towards him. Still, he didn't back away. He let out a gasp and I decided- _fuck it. _

Unfortunately, this thought came at exactly the same time that he decided _oh shit_, and he pulled away quickly. Moments before he stood to his feet and turned away from me, I could see the hurt in his eyes. And I realised that I'd just kissed a guy whose girlfriend had tried to kill herself last night.

Tears began to run down my hot cheeks before I realised it and I grabbed my stuff in a hurry. I ran to the door, yanking on my shoes as quick as I could.

"I'm sorry." I cried, blinking away the tears so that I could see. "I'm- god, I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry, and not about the crackers, well I am, but I mean- I'm so fucking sorry."

And I left the door, taking with me a million more regrets.

**KURT-**

"I'm telling you, you do the division first which makes the answer 33."  
"You just do them in order!" Guthrie said, stubbornly. He pointed to each individual sum as though that would change my mind or somehow make his way of thinking clearer.

"Guth, I'm a _teacher_!"

"Trainee." He reminded me. "All the more you should know! 0 + 6, minus 4, divided by 2-"  
"But BIDMASS! You do the multiplication and division first!" I interrupted. I was tiring of this argument quickly.

"Bid-what?" He frowned.

"Trust me, Guth. I got top marks. You got an E."  
"E for effort."

"E for 'I spent more time pounding rocks than doing maths'."

"I know I'm right. I've never heard of this Big-mass thing and engineers are good at mathsy stuff."

"Fine, let's call Lena and see who's right."

"We're not calling Lena. Not again. I'll call one of my friends."  
"Your friends are all engineers too!" I cried, ready to rag my hair out at this stage. "You don't have a brain cell between you!"

"Not all of my friends are from work. And it takes brains to be an engineer." He reached forward for my phone on the table in front of us. "I'll google it."

"How do you know my password?"  
"Lena told me it."  
"How does she know?"

"She guessed."  
"How?" I demanded, jaw hanging open. That girl could be ridiculously smart at times.

"No idea." He had google up now and began typing in the sum. A second before he pressed 'ok', my phone froze in his hand as an incoming call appeared on the screen.

Incoming call from Luann.

Guthrie gave me eyes that said 'really?', before passing me the phone. I answered, standing to move away from Guthrie.

"Luann?"

"Kurt, I need a lift. Please." I immediately made my way for my jacket, grabbing it on my way out. Her voice was trembling a little, and though she usually asked me for lifts places, she almost never said 'please'. That sent warning bells off in my head.

"Where to? Are you okay?" I signed to Guthrie that I was leaving and mouthed 'I'll call you later'. He raised his hands in exasperation, whispering back 'what am I supposed to do?!'. I ignored him. I had other things to think about.

"I'm fine. I got a call from my mum's carer..."

"I got it. Where are you?"

"At home."

"I'll be there soon."


	15. The Twins Freedom and Death

_**How the Mighty Fall (in Love)- Year 851**_

"You seem distracted." Hanji commented as the rest of Levi's Special Operations Squad, or what remained of them, walked ahead. She tried to catch Levi's eyes, but he wouldn't look up from the floor and his scowl hadn't eased from his face in days.

"It's nothing." He replied. Hanji cast him a sneer that showed she didn't believe that at all. Levi sighed heavily, like there was a tonne of bricks weighing him down into the floor. "It is something, as you well know, but I'm not dragging you into this."

"I've been involved in all the most dangerous expeditions in this damn legion. Most of the time, I'm the one creating all these mad theories that make us charge head first into disaster. What makes this occasion any different?" Levi considered it. In a way, this information was both personal and top secret. Erwin hadn't told anyone, it seemed- not even Levi. He trusted Erwin's decision to do that, and no amount of personal bias was going to change what he thought. The reason he was going to continue burrowing into this mystery was because he felt he owed _her _something. He would unravel the conspiracies she never learned and find her father, dead or alive or somewhere in between. By no means would this cause him to befriend and save her father, but he'd resolve her past. That was something she had joined the scouting legion to do, and died because of his mistakes.

"On another note," Hanji began after the long silence. "There's another matter we should discuss. A matter of cadet well-being." Levi raised his eyes to hers, then glanced in the direction she was looking. His eyes landed on the back of a cadet, Kurt Jung. There wasn't anything obviously wrong with him at the moment, but Levi had noticed the same as Hanji. However, Levi had skimmed over what he knew for favour of thinking about other things. He knew that Kurt was suffering a huge amount of pain right now. He was a talkative and optimistic person, but after losing most of his best friends, he now walked alone. Eren often passed comments at him to initiate a friendship, though he never received much of a response. Who could blame him? Levi didn't know the depth of his problems, but he had seen the list of those lost in each expedition. First, it had been the death of a girl named Ava. Then Kurt had lost Lena, Guthrie and Luann, the people he was closest to form his intake. The people he had shared blood, sweat and tears with. Levi, having not gone through training, couldn't know what sort of bond they shared. Although, he could pretty much guess after what it felt like to lose his friends from the underground.

Kurt had remained at HQ on the expedition where his friends had died, which probably made everything much more painful to bear. Levi's eyes narrowed down to his ankle, still spotting a slight limp from where he'd been injured on their rescue of Lena. Kurt had claimed he was okay to walk on it now, but Levi feared different. He didn't mention it though. After losing so many of his friends, Levi could understand that he wouldn't want to stay locked up in that massive, gloomy castle any longer. He wasn't going to force him to stay there, especially since they weren't doing anything physically demanding right now.

Speaking of the mission, Levi's eyes glinted with alertness once more and he scoured the area. He caught Mikasa staring out into the distance with narrowed eyes and immediately his senses heightened. They were only on a normal patrol, which the special forces didn't usually get involved in. Erwin had given this job to them whilst other troops recovered from the expedition. For Mikasa to be that tense, he sensed something was wrong.

"What's wrong, Mikasa?" He asked, passing the reins of his horse to Hanji and heading over to her at the front of their squad.

"I smell fire." She muttered. Levi looked out in the same direction and felt the wind speed up, waving his hair into his eyes. He took a deep breath and faintly caught the taste of ash on his tongue. And something else. The air was hot.

"You're right. Do you have a visual?" By now, the rest of the squad had stopped and begun sniffing the air in confusion. Levi felt Mikasa shake her head beside him as the both tuned in on the horizon. Levi spotted it first. "Beyond that small group of trees at 2o'clock."

"I see it." She nodded.

Levi considered what to do. They were only a small group and were exhausted from the recent expedition. However, once his eyes met with Hanji's bright, calculating eyes, he knew they had to get closer. He consulted the map for the first time in his position of leadership, matching the town name on the map to the direction of the fire.

"It could just be a normal fire, but stay alert."  
"Yes sir."

They approached the area on horseback and the chill down Levi's spine began to worsen as time crept by. The town was still miles away and they couldn't make out anything but a curl of smoke behind a group of trees. He decided to swoop around to the left as a squad, which lengthened their journey but allowed them to see behind the trees instead of having to charge through blindly. The town seemed to reside directly behind the wood. The air heated up significantly, and sweat began to bead on Levi's forehead as though they were approaching a blazing fire. Steam and smoke billowed up into the sky, dying it black.

Eventually the first row of houses came into view, seemingly wrecked from the inside out by some kind of explosion. There were stones and shards everywhere and not a single residence had been spared.

"Titans..." Mikasa whispered under her breath. Levi shot his gaze towards Hanji. It seemed they both had the same thought, because she was giving him the same look back.

"Exploded." Levi commented.

"From the inside out." She finished.

"Just like with Connie's village. We're going in. On your guards everyone."

"Yes sir!"

**KURT-**

"Well it seems that the panic is over." I sighed, trying to lighten the mood. Luann nodded, but said nothing. "Are you sure you don't want to stay over there?"

"Then I'd have to pay for a hotel and I'm already struggling to keep her in there." She realised that her words had been a little too sharp and quickly changed the conversation. "Thanks for the lift."  
"You're welcome, but try to stay in character. It's creepy."

"Shut up."  
"That's better. Do you want dropping off at home?"

"No, I'm coming over to yours."  
"Guthrie and Lena are over." Luann pulled a face.

"When are they leaving?"

"Well, Lena just got there. Guthrie text me. Come over. You and her need to make friends anyway."

"We really don't." She scoffed.

"Why don't you two get on?" In reply, she merely scoffed like the answer was obvious. "Well, fine. You can just sit and sulk."

And that was pretty much what she did.

Lena was clearly not happy when Luann entered my apartment just behind me. She pulled a hideous face and then ignored us both. Luann similarly said nothing, but decided to grab a can of beer from my fridge, open it, then sit down in front of the television which was paused on Mario Kart. She picked up the remote and flicked it back onto the TV channel, to which Lena glared at her from across the room.

"I didn't want to play anyway." She muttered under her breath, throwing the now redundant remote back into its box.

They sat in an uncomfortable silence, all on separate furniture and all concentrating on the same tiny screen. I had no idea what was on, but it didn't seem very interesting. Still, they stared at it without blinking. I sighed, rolling my eyes and ruffling my hair with one hand.

All of a sudden, a wave of sickness passed over me and I felt the blood drain from my face. I staggered a little, trying to balance myself. I couldn't concentrate on anything, the whole world spinning in and out of focus whilst images flooded my head in a painful burst of colour and emotion. The images flowed through my head so quickly that they seemed like dreams. I could feel their raw emotions pounding my heart, but I couldn't remember anything at all once they had passed. I felt myself collide with the kitchen side and Luann looked across. I grasped the stool under the side board, only to feel it slip past my hand as I fell onto the floor. My head felt heavy and I struggled to keep it upright like a newborn, but in a second I felt someone's hands on me offering support.

"Kurt," Guthrie's calm voice floated into my head. "Are you okay? That's it, lie down, lie down..." He guided me onto the floor and something soft cushioned my head from the floor. My legs were lifted into the air and rested onto something. "Kurt? Can you talk to me?" Guthrie asked again. There were shadows swarming on both sides, surrounding me, blocking out the light.

"_You're Kurt Jung, right?"_

"_Y-yes, sir." Someone with dull eyes stood over me. She didn't say anything as the mechanical hands of time clanked onwards. We were locked in a silent conversation, both unwilling to speak first._

"I've lost them all." I muttered, weakly. "All of them."

"All of what? Kurt, have you eaten today?"

"I ate with him in the café."

"_W-which?" _

"_Guthrie Eisenberg and Lena Hertz... have fulfilled their duties and died serving humanity."_

"He's done this before." A slightly panicked voice joined the confusion outside of my head.

"Luann." I called out to her. "Luann, where are you?"

"Here, you idiot. Right here." She replied, curtly. Her words soothed me. I felt the images fade away into the deepest depths of my mind again where they were replaced by darkness. She was here. She was speaking to me. She was alive.

And then my old self seemed to return, in part, as I realised with terror that something was wrong. There was something disturbingly wrong with me.

**HANJI-**

My mind hadn't stopped buzzing with possibilities since my conversation with Eren and Mikasa. I found, with surprise, that I hadn't touched my phone in days since I'd been bubbling with theories and propositions. My internet hadn't had a break for a second but now I knew where I was going with this. I had a list of all the local 'Ackerman's, ready to contact them about unusual memories and experiences. I wasn't usually into the paranormal, psychological side of science but my excitement for this had simply built and built.

I prepared the list beside me and picked up my mobile for the first time in a while. Something caught my attention on the screen before I began dialling, and I found that Levi had called me a few times. This was rare, and so I decided to ring him back before I began my research.

"Hanji?" A depressed murmur answered within two rings.

"What's up? You rang?"

"Ahh..." There was a pause and it didn't take me long to figure out that Levi was probably drunk. I checked my watch. 5Pm and he was _drinking_? That was against Levi's style. "Petra's gone, Hanji. She's gone."

"Ah... Did you break up?"

"She tried to kill herself, Hanji. Hanji, I drove her to that. Hanji..."

"Levi, where are you?"

"At home. I don't need consoling. Stay where, stay... stay put."

"No, I was thinking you should stay at my house. We'll get Erwin over too."

"Erwin? I've not seen the bastard in ages..."

"Catch up time then, don't you think? Oh, and I'm onto something about your 'other world'."

"... Like what?" He sobered up pretty quickly.

"I'll let you know when you get here. Pack your stuff for an over night stay. I'll call you later."

I hung up on Levi, feeling a twinge in the pit of my stomach. I had never imagined that something like this could happen to Levi. And now was probably the worst timing. He was at his least energetic already with a bleak career and worries over a mental problem that he couldn't explain. Well, maybe I could. If I could just figure this out...

I rang Erwin and got him on board with the plan. He was just setting off to pick up Levi when I terminated the call. Next came my research...

The majority of Ackermans thought I was some creepy scammer about to persuade their bank details out of the wallet and into my account. They hung up immediately, though some shared a fair amount of abuse down the line beforehand. On my last hope, however, the call seemed to have some success...

"Hello, is there a Kurt Ackerman residing here?"

"Kurt...? Ahh... Yeah he's here, can I ask who's speaking please?" A male voice replied on the line.

"My name's Hanji. He doesn't know me, but I need to speak to him about something urgent."

"Can you call back later? He's resting because he fainted earlier today." A light-bulb illuminated in my head.

"Does he do this often?" I asked, intrigued.

"More recently, he does... Why?"

"I know he's resting but can you put him on the phone? I think Kurt will want to hear what I have to say." There was a pause and the man clearly wasn't happy, but eventually he complied.

"Hello? Who's this?" Someone else answered.

"Are you Kurt Ackerman?"

"No, well, yes. Ackerman was my dad's name but he disappeared and my mum re-married. I'm Kurt Jung now."

"Okay, well Kurt. I'm conducting some research and I was just wondering... have you had any strange episodes of remembering something? Something like, another world? Another lifetime?" I asked and eagerly awaited the answer. I knew I'd hit the jackpot from the stunned silence that passed.

"Why?"  
"I happen to know two other people having the same problem, and we think there is a link to the Ackerman bloodline. The research is still in its early stages, but would you mind letting me have your mobile number so I can contact you?"

"Hang on, what kind of things do they see?" He demanded. I thought back to what Levi and Eren had told me.

"Giants invading cities, giants eating people and massive walls. Things like that." I didn't want to give too much away until I interviewed him. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to know whether I had implanted the memories myself.

"... Have you got a pen and paper?" Kurt asked. I grinned.

"Certainly. Fire away."

…

_**How the Mighty Fall (in Love)- Year 851**_

Erwin leant forward in his chair, palm flattened against the wooden table before him as he listened to Hanji's report with interest and urgency.

"The same as Ragako?" He asked, after she had begun to explain.

"Exactly the same." Hanji nodded solemnly. "There were houses that seemed to have exploded from the inside out. In the stables, the horses still remained and everything inside the houses stayed put. The only thing missing was the humans who lived there."

"Does this mean that there are titans inside the walls?" He asked, eyes widening as the prospects this brought began to make themselves clear.

"I've sent out a few squads to search already." Levi commented, standing away from the wall he had been leant against and stalking over to the table in front of Erwin. "The rest of the legion are on full alert. We are just waiting for your call."

"Everyone able to move is sent out. We hadn't finished re-arranging the squad numbers after the expedition, but this will have to do. Levi, you take your squad and join with Hanji's. Hang back whilst we pinpoint the location, then you'll form an immediate response unit when we get ear of their location. Send out the orders."

"I'll get onto it." Levi said, already beginning to leave the room. "You two stay here and figure out the location."

Hanji was already pouring over the map. With Erwin's help, she had marked the areas where the Garrison were stationed on the walls, where squads had safely patrolled earlier in the morning and where squads were currently patrolling. They began to discuss possible strategic areas of attack _if _the titans were controlled by some sort of unknown enemy. Steadily, the map began to fill with lines and short-hand and circles, until the original town names were barely readable. By the time Levi had returned fully dressed in his 3DM gear, they had narrowed it down to two areas that were most likely to come under attack on the titans' rampage path. Immediately, Levi was brought up to date and the three of them set out to lead their squads to those sites.

Erwin led his squad to one location, and Hanji to another. Levi was ordered to aim part way between and keep walking for about 2 miles. If he didn't come across anything suspicious, he'd turn left or right to meet up with another squad. Shortly before the group split up, Erwin finalised their orders.

"Keep communication in any eventuality. If you come across any other squads, keep track of where they have been. If you find anything, send a runner immediately. That is all." He mounted his horse and set his eyes on the horizon.

"Erwin." Levi called, stopping him. The commander looked down at him with piercing, determined eyes. "Remember, you're indispensable. You too, Hanji. We need your brains."

"What's this, all of a sudden?" She laughed loudly, slapping her hands onto her hips. "We've been putting our lives on the line for years. Statistically, I've survived 100% of our expeditions so far." She winked, playfully and pulled herself onto her own horse. Erwin was watching Levi with eagle-sharp eyes. He watched Levi heave a silent sigh in response to Hanji's comment, before he cast his eyes back to meet Erwin's.

"Levi," Erwin began. "... Be careful."

"Huh?" Levi raised a thin eyebrow.

"We lost many on the last expedition... many vital members..." Levi lowered his gaze for a fraction of a second. "You can ensure that we don't lose any more. Without further ado, let's go. Onwards!" He commanded, kicking his horse into a sprint.

"Compassion from the commander." Hanji whistled. "I thought he was worried about you. Well, I'm off as well. There are titans to capture! Yahoo!"

After a few moments of contemplating silence, Eren came to Levi's side pulling his horse behind him.

"Captain." He said. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing. Let's go."

**AN- Quite a few important revelations in this chapter ! Sorry for how long it took to upload, and also to those who read HTMFIL and felt like the plot was unresolved... We are slowly getting down to the truth behind the story from HTMFIL AND CKUT! Resolving two stories at once. Yey! Thanks for your patience!**


	16. One Friend

_**The Chemicals Keeping Us Together- Present Day**_

**LEVI-**

When Erwin arrived, in my drunken state I refused to leave the floor where I was half-laid, half-sat, so Erwin decided to simply drag me into a fireman's lift and carry me out of the apartment after he had gathered a bagful of my clothes in one hand. I decided not to resist, as my head was too heavy to lift anyway. I fell to sleep in the back of his car at some point, swaying with the steady swerving of the vehicle. At some point, I muttered angrily about something to Erwin, but I had no idea what when I tried to recall.

An hour on and I was still drunk but at least now I was able to hold some sort of a conversation. We were sat in Hanji's living room, her giggling happily with a can of alcohol, Erwin placing another card down on the table in front of me. I blinked several times until I felt reasonably awake and back in the room. I realised that the bottle that had been in my hand earlier had now been moved out of reach. I quickly rectified that problem.

"Have you any idea how much I had to drink to get drunk?" I cursed, alerting Hanji and Erwin to the fact that I was conscious again. "Fucking liver. So expensive. I used _all_ the alcohol left in my fridge."

"And mine." Hanji chirped in. "Well, there's still a little bit left."

"And you've had your fair share of it, too." Erwin reminded her, gesturing to the line of bottles which she had placed into a smiley face on the floor beside her.

"You're still talking intelligently." Hanji frowned at him pointing in Erwin's general direction. "Drink." Erwin waved a hand dismissively.

"I've had enough."

"Well I'll take yours then." I crawled over to his chair and took one of the cans beside him.

"Oh yeah," Hanji said once I had opened the can and begun to swallow the liquid. "I talked to Petra today. She's recovering fine." My stomach lurched.

"Is she out of hospital yet?" Erwin asked.

"Nearly. By tomorrow evening she should be back home."

"Home?" I coughed, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "Where?"

"Actually, she plans to move in with a friend for a while until the apartment gets sorted."

"Whose apartment?"  
"Yours. You need to figure out some sort of ehh... that thing they do when couples divorce... uuuuh... you know what I mean."  
"The apartment is mine. It was before I met her."

"All her stuff is in there though."

"She can take it then?"

"It's not that simple." Hanji waved her hands in the air and nearly spilt her drink. Needless to say, Erwin had a chance to read all of her cards.

"You mean, she doesn't want to see me?"  
"Egg-zactly! Which makes negotiations difficult."

"Arrhh!" I cursed, ruffling my hair with both hands. "Women are so annoying!"

"Which brings me onto my next question..." Hanji placed her cards and drink down on the table, before leaning over to me. She decided this wasn't close enough, so she set about shimmying out of her soft armchair onto the floor, and then scrambling across the carpet to where I was sat.

"What is going on with that girl?"

"Which girl?" I feigned innocence.

"The whole spiritual connection woman of mystery. The one you saw and recognised from another world."

"... I've met with her. A few times." Whether it was the alcohol or the stress I'd grown to despise from hiding information all the time, either way for once I decided I was going to be serious. I decided to tell them both, the two people I trusted most in the world, what was happening.

"Does she recognise you?"

"Not at all, as far as I can tell. Yet there are times where I remember things about her that haven't happened. There are times I know things about her that I shouldn't."

"Levi... what kind of relationship did you have with her?" Hanji was breathing wretched alcohol breath right onto my face, so I shuffled away quickly. I thought carefully about my answer.

Everything was a blur, and it felt like if I tried to firmly grasp the bubbles of memories floating in my head, they would smudge like droplets of water on a window glass. But I knew- I knew that I had held her. I could remember the warm sheets beside me in a two bodied bed made for one, where legs and arms tangled like vines and soft breaths of wind tickled my chest. I had recognised her lips on mine today. I knew her lips and the anxious reckless confidence she threw at me in a flurry of emotions where she hoped I would catch and reciprocate. She belonged to me as much as the blood in my veins.

But the Lena of this world was not the Lena I knew, and she was not mine. Neither did she remember me, nor did she share the same memories I had. She was not the same person I knew.

Was I even the same person who had held her? There was a chance that these memories weren't mine. Someone else had loved this girl in the past, or in some other life. They weren't us. I wasn't him. And things could never play out the way they had.

Yet one thing was the same, no matter what. No matter how illogical or unreasonable or impractical or wrong, there was one thing I knew.

"I want her." I said, resting the can in my hand on the table. For several minutes, Erwin and Hanji said nothing. I wondered if they had understood me, or if I had said something completely bizarre and unbelievable. Maybe they thought I was joking. Just as I was about to backtrack my words, Erwin spoke.

"Then, you know what you have to do, right Levi?" I looked at him, one eyebrow cocked.

"... Yeah," I nodded, slowly. "Yeah, I do." I stood abruptly. "I know."

"Woah-" Hanji reached out to steady me as my vision swam. "Where are you going in this state?"

"I know." I repeated again.

"Erwin, what have you said?" Hanji chided as I staggered towards the door.

"Don't stop him, Hanji." He replied smoothly. I slipped on my shoes hastily and grabbed several times for the door handle. I managed to get out of the house and into the street calling a taxi as I did so. The next thing I knew, I was outside her door with no recollection of the journey there and no idea if I had even paid the driver. I knocked on the door and hastily checked my appearance with my hands- shirt buttons done up, trousers on properly and hair unruffled. I heard footsteps from the other side as I tried to look as sober as possible. The door opened.

I took me several seconds to focus my eyes on the person before me, but I was sober enough to realise this wasn't Lena.

"Where's Lena?" I asked, trying to keep the drunken slur from my voice.

"Can I ask, who are you?" The woman replied cautiously.  
"It's Levi. I need to speak to her, please."

"Just a second." She said, firmly shutting the door in front of me. I wondered if I had messed up, cursing under my breath and leaning my head against the wall. Of course she'd shut the door to a drunken stranger. Suddenly, though, the door clicked again and a figure appeared.

"Levi?"

"Lena." I muttered, standing to face her.

"Are you here about earlier? Ah... Look, Levi-"

I had racked my brain for something to say to her. _I want you _or_ I need you _was what I wanted to say, but I couldn't. I wondered if I should tell her about my insanity. I thought about explaining what happened earlier on. In the end, I kissed her.

She was as surprised as I was, if not more so, but she didn't pull away. My hands were on her waist, her chest pressed against mine. I drew back a fraction and whispered, "I love you". I felt her lips curl up into a small smile as I kissed her. She separated for breath, gasping slightly until I took her lips again. I was dizzy and disorientated and knew this was what I wanted. I compared the feeling to kissing Petra- a feeling of 'have to' rather than 'want to'. Now, it wasn't even a 'want to'. I _needed_ to.

The only problem I had, waking up the following morning, was working out if it had even happened. It turned out to be quite a big problem, in fact. From that point onwards, my memory was non-existent and now, I was back in Hanji's house sprawled out on the sofa. The faint smell of bacon drifted into my nose along with the hissing of a pan. I opened my eyes and strained against the light.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Hanji beamed from across the room as I sat up. She turned the volume down on the TV she had been watching. "Good night?"  
"Hmmph..." I grunted, rolling over. "I wish I knew."

"How much do you remember?" She asked. I decided not to answer, knowing she was with-holding vital information. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. "Erwin, he's up." Hanji called to the kitchen where I guessed said man was making breakfast.

"Phone?" I murmured sleepily, feeling the muscles around my neck gingerly which seemed to have stiffened up from a night sleeping on the sofa. Or, passed out on the sofa, as it may have been.

"In your shoe on the floor beside you." Hanji gestured. "I had to take your shoes off."

"I had my shoes on?" I frowned in her general direction. Wearing shoes inside was a pet hate of mine that had become so ingrained in my conscious that it was the first thing I did whenever I passed through the front door to any house. I never forgot. Never.

"Well, we did have to carry you inside."

"From where?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." Hanji giggled in that irritating, 'I know something you don't know' way. And yes, it was extremely irritating. Because it was about me, and I couldn't recall a damn thing. Everything blacked out after meeting Lena, but now I wasn't so sure if that had been a dream or reality. Maybe I had passed out and the whole episode had been a dream. It seemed that Hanji wasn't keen on enlightening me any time soon.

I fished my phone out of my pocket and was bombarded, once more, with a stream of messages and missed phone calls. For a second, I considered throwing it across the room and going back to sleep. Unfortunately though, curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back.

There was a bank of messages that huge from my boss that I considered it illegal. I could probably sue him for harassment of some sort. And I was seriously considering it. The majority of the notifications were phone calls, coupled with two messages: _Please call back soon _and _You're late for work. I know you have personal circumstances, but you must at least book official leave. Please phone back asap._

I didn't, obviously.

Some were from an unknown number, calling consistently every two minutes for the last hour. There was a message as well- _This is Petra's friend. I am at your house now to pick up her stuff. Please call back._

Again, I didn't.

I scrolled back to last night and found missed calls from surprisingly Erwin and unsurprisingly Hanji, with messages asking where I was and stating '_we're not at fault if you wake up in Paris' _then, '_txt to show you're not dead yet plz'. _I was still no wiser into the events of the previous night. Later than those messages but before this morning was single text message from Lena that I nearly missed. I hastily opened it, nearly dropping my phone in the process. It read- _Please call me._

And of course, I did.

…

**KURT-**

I hadn't slept well. One freaky phone call that made no sense but had the potential to unravel my life had condemned me to a fragmented night's sleep. Guthrie and Lena had to leave to make sure they could get to work the next morning, but Luann had stayed the night. Once I went to bed, I had woken with nightmares once every hour, and spent the next hour whizzing thoughts around my head. In the end, I got up at 7am and trudged groggily to the kitchen in search of caffeine. For once, Luann was up before me with the TV on. She turned as she heard the kettle begin to bubble.

"Go to bed." She demanded, as though I'd just say 'okay' and that'd be that. I raised an eyebrow.

"I've got work."

"You're not well."

"I've got work." I repeated, shrugging.

"I'm going to phone your boss." She threatened like a teacher telling a child that she would 'phone home'.

"You don't know my boss' number."  
"Then tell me." She said, sternly. I snorted.

"Yeah, right."

"Kurt!" She scowled ferociously. "Don't be a bastard!"

"There's nothing wrong with me." I turned away from her and removed the kettle from its stand. Luann seemed on the verge of screaming, turning violent or both. "What about your own work?"

"I'll go in late and work late."

Just then, the phone rang and I leapt across the room to answer it. Luann raised an eyebrow at me, suspiciously.

"Hello?"

"It's Guthrie. How are you feeling?"

"Oh..." I grunted, a little disappointed. He picked up on that straight away.

"Were you expecting a phone call from someone else?"

"Ah, yeah, kind of."

"Sorry. Just checking in to see how you're doing."

"Well, I'm late for work but feeling better."

"Good. Have you heard from Lena?"

"No, not yet. I'll text her later."

"You aren't much of a feint-er. What happened?"

"I'd been feeling off all day." I lied, scratching my scalp and avoiding Luann's poisonous glare.

"Ah... well look after yourself. I've got to go but I'll ring you later."

"Yeah, see you." I hung up.

"That reminds me." Luann hissed, folding her arms across her chest. "You didn't tell me about that weird phone call you received last night." I began formulating excuses, but the headache in my temples was pulsing painfully. I'd had enough of placating her temper. She strode over to me, making a grab for the phone to look at the call history but I quickly took her wrists in my hands and pinned her forcefully against the wall. She looked surprised, like a mountain had just exploded into a volcano. Her anger immediately sank down into her feet and she looked up at me, timidly.

"W-what?" she grunted, trying to force a scowl as I stared down at her.

"Luann." I muttered. She squirmed uncomfortably. "Shh."

"Wha-?" I placed on finger over her mouth and repeated-

"Shuush."

"What are you-!" I placed my whole hand over her mouth and her words spluttered to a halt.

"Everything's fine. Stop worrying. I'm going to work now and I'll pick you up from work at 6 o'clock, right?" After a seconds pause, she nodded reluctantly. "Good girl." I said, leaning down and kissing the back of my hand that was over her lips. She screeched under my hand and managed to free herself from my grip.

"What was that for?!" She yelled. I smiled back.

**AN- Ah, yeah... Slightly late. Just slightly. I've been incredibly busy. Its not that I've given up on this story- I literally have had no time to write. Hang in there though, we will see the end of this story. Apologies for how short it is too. I wanted to write this quickly to say- I'm still aliveeeee ! Ill try my best to write the next one asap.**

**Anyway. Thanks for reading and waiting. Love you all x**


	17. This is Why We Were Born

**This is Why We Were Born**

**AN: It has been a while... again... you might want to read the last chapter to even remember this story, haha... anyway, enjoy!**

…

_**How the Mighty Fall (in Love)- Year 851**_

The leather strap across my chest grated against a recent injury, irritating the half-formed scab that tried to cover the gaping wound that stretched down from my collar bone to my diaphragm. I adjusted it, gritting my teeth as I noticed that my shirt was sticking to my chest. I looked down and saw blotches of blood seeping through the material. My scar wasn't a titan war wound. It was a result of over training. I'd drowned out my thoughts with the sounds of my 3DGM in the silent training area of the forest, twisting and tumbling in the darkness of night to worm my way out of the net of thoughts I'd become trapped in. Night on night for weeks, I'd gone to bed restlessly and eventually thrown my sheets to the floor and donned the equipment once again. This went on for two weeks, where I had somehow survived on less than two or three hours of sleep a night. I came to dread night time. Night time was silent. Night time was when my thoughts were the loudest and I was becoming less and less able to shut them up.

_What if I hadn't let her go?_

_I could have saved her. _

_I should have hit her foot._

_I should have fired the trigger sooner._

All the time, trying to shake my head free of the images circling and circling, driving me mad. It was because of this that I took to the skies and soared around headquarters instead of sleeping. Erwin had noticed my increased out-take of gas, but he never said anything. In the end, I was shocked into quitting that habit. Drunk of sleep deprivation and driven mad by stress, I messed up. One night whilst out practising, I missed up and had opened up a gaping hole in my chest because of it. It was then that I decided to take the day off and Erwin once again wordlessly agreed, as though he had known exactly what was happening in my head since day one. Well, at least someone did. That day, I had slept from dawn until dusk, finally allowing myself time to recover after the two weeks of hell I had put my body through.

It was coming back to bite me once again though, as the huge reminder on my chest burned slightly.

All of a sudden, I felt a twinge of apprehension tingle my feet, up the back of my legs, from the small of my back all the way up my spine to my neck. My eyes darted around and I noticed that Mikasa was also on high alert.

"There." I said sharply, pointing. Mikasa snapped her head in the direction I was pointing as the rest of my squad raised eyebrows looked at each other in confusion.

A man on a horse was waving his hands in the air at us, coming from the east where Erwin was. I mounted my horse and Mikasa settled into her own saddle not a second later.

"Let's go." I ordered the rest of them into action and began galloping to meet him.

"What's happening?" Eren asked, drawing his horse closer beside me. "Ah-" He spotted the man in the distance. "Does mean that-" He stopped himself once more.

"Check your gas and belts." I commanded, looking over my shoulder to make sure that they had followed my rule. "Eren, stay close."

"Yes sir!"

The man stopped his horse as we approached and began to turn away. His horse advanced at a slow trot until we caught up and I fell into line beside him.

"Titans. Lots of them."

"Kurt." I called before he could continue. "Spread the message to Hanji's squad in the west." There was a small pause before I heard one set of footsteps fade away.

"Most of them are around 7m class and we're in an old town so there's plenty of manoeuvrability. The only problem is that some titans are slipping through. It's like they have somewhere they want to go and are just ignoring us." I grunted in irritation.

"How long?"

"We're not far. I'm surprised I found you so soon. Another two minutes and we should be able to see them on the horizon."

Indeed it wasn't long, and we dived head first into a blood thirsty battle against a storm of hideous giants. I led the way until I spotted Erwin in the thick of the action and landed neatly beside him.

"Have you informed Hanji's squad?"

"I sent Kurt."

"Good." Erwin shielded himself from a spurt of titan blood that careered in our direction whilst I stepped behind him. Steam evaporated from his newly stained cape. A hand began to reach towards us. Erwin stepped back to let me deal with it. I nimbly ran up the arm of the perpetrator and flew upwards onto the grotesque, oversized head on the other end. With one swift slash, the gigantic beast fell like timber with a soft moan. I stepped beside Erwin once more.

"Plan?"

"I'm still trying to figure out if they're heading somewhere or not."

"It's like they're being drawn to a location." I agreed.

"Yet it's not the same as before when they have been 'ordered'. They aren't completely ignoring us."

"What are they heading for?" I asked, rhetorically more than anything.

A scream tore through the air as one of the soldiers was caught mid-flight, like a bird in the paws of a cat, and was chomped in half. I swallowed.

"I'm off." I called to Erwin, firing off towards the giants looming over us. I sliced through neck after neck, always with one eye on Erwin. Mikasa's war cry screeched through the air like thunder as she cut down three titans in quick succession. I quickly scanned for Eren, spotting him not far from his sister. He'd be safe there.

Another scream drove me from my thoughts and back to the battlefield. I charged over and swiftly shredded the titan's ankles beyond recognition. It fell with a creak and a thud. I dived from rooftop to rooftop and swirled back down to earth to deliver the final strike. The titan began to evaporate instantly and muffled sobs of a shaken soldier faded away.

I dropped back onto a nearby rooftop and felt my legs shudder beneath me. _Shit, _I cursed. I hadn't eaten this morning. My diet had been a mess for a while now. It had started because I just didn't _feel _like eating at first. I'd miss meal times because I didn't want to face a room of people anyway. Then, it had become a bad habit. I found myself skipping meals some days, and gorging out on food on others. Once again, the mistreatment of my body that I had inflicted on myself was having the worst effects at the worst times.

I took a deep breath and concentrated once more. I couldn't stop for a self-pity monologue right now- there wasn't time.

I drove my blades through the tissue of more and more titans. They just seemed to keep coming. I'd glance from Eren to Erwin, bounce from scream to scream like some sort of heroic pinball. I rode on the energy high I was experiencing, knowing that soon I'd 'crash'.

I had probably used up all my luck by now anyway. I'd survived this long moving from the hell of the underground, surviving on nothing and using everything available to me to live, to the hell of the above ground world. I'd been fighting since the moment I had left the womb.

And I had lost everything over and over again.

Really, why was I still trying?

"LEVI!" Erwin's voice thundered in my ears as my knees shook. I looked up and a swarm of diamonds blinked in my vision. I felt myself slipping sideways on the rooftop and tried to steady myself. Before me, the hand of death seemed to loom towards me, reaching out to grab me.

_Why am I still trying? _

The next thing I knew, Erwin was stood before me, blades drawn. He sliced into the titan before me, cutting off two of its fingers in one swipe. The other three grabbed onto his side and dragged him into the air. Frantic soldiers darted around like flies, making shallow, desperate cuts into the titan's skin in an effort to free the commander. I jolted back to reality and shook my head sharply, ignoring the spiking pain in my forehead. My feet began to move as Erwin was lowered towards the titan's mouth. His eyes were stoic as ever, but he struggled vigilantly in the titan's grip, shouting commands to the soldier's calling his name.

"Watch the other hand!" He called as one soldier was nearly swiped from the sky. By now I was in position to fire myself from the rooftop. With a loud grunt, I propelled myself skywards and swooped down on the titan just as it closed its mouth around the commander's arm to chew lazily. Quick as a flash of lightening, its arm fell apart where my blades had struck and Erwin now hung by one arm from its mouth. Before the titan could even blink, I had stuck the final blow and Erwin tumbled from its gaping mouth. He activated his manoeuvre gear with great difficulty, somehow managing to topple onto a nearby rooftop. I dropped down beside him and immediately bundled my cape around the bleeding mess where his arm used to be in an effort to stop the blood flow. I chewed my lip, furious at myself.

"Commander, I'm sorry."

"I think that's the first time you've called me that." He chuckled, probably delirious in the pain by now. "Have you realised now that your actions affect the safety of all those around you?" My eyebrows raised a fraction in surprise, fingers shaking with adrenaline as I tried to press harder onto the wound.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think I haven't noticed your behaviour of late? Not eating properly, not sleeping, not talking to anyone, wandering off places and even taking your frustrations out on our prisoner..."

"... You noticed." I said, because it was the only thing I could say. I couldn't deny a word.

"And I've lost an arm because of you."

"Bastard-" I grunted as my anger flared. But he was right, again, and my frustration sizzled out in shame.

"Stop mistreating yourself and grieving like a child." Erwin lectured me, stone faced and paling. "You don't live for yourself, nor do you live for Lena. You live for humanity. Your body serves humanity. Your mistake today has cost humanity. Do you understand, Levi?" I maintained several seconds of eye contact with him. As a trained medic arrived and took over Erwin's arm, I stood up and examined him as he examined me. I understood. I fully understood. He had given me the wakeup call I needed. Lena was gone but that didn't matter because I was a soldier. I wasn't supposed to fall in love. I had a purpose to fulfil and I couldn't die until it was over. Lena had made me forget my resolve, but Erwin had brought it back to me.

She was gone and she was never coming back, but that didn't change the fact that titans still existed- something I was going to rectify.

Starting now.

With a great war cry, I careered through the sky and slammed my blades into the eyeballs of a titan. I clicked out the blades, flipped the grips in my hand and re-slotted a new set of blades into place- all without taking a breath. One down, two, three, another, another. I slaughtered them in quick succession and didn't spend a moment to watch them fall. I had to make up for what I had lost. I wouldn't forget again. I would not forget the weight bared upon my shoulders again. Once all the titans were sizzling piles of bones scattered across the abandoned town, we immediately withdrew. Hanji's squad had just arrived and joined the convoy on the way back to HQ. I rode beside the kart where Erwin was laid, surrounded by medics. He looked pale, but the look in his eyes said there was no way he was dying here. I caught eye contact with him and he opened his mouth to speak.

"When we get back..." He began, speaking so softly I could barely hear him. His voice sounded so unlike him. "I'll take you to who you're looking for."

_**The Chemicals Keeping Us Together- Present Day**_

**LENA-**

I arrived at the café ten minutes early, expecting to have to wait but lo and behold, he was already there. My stomach shot up into my throat. I took a deep breath and held it. He was sat in the farthest corner of the café, staring unblinkingly down into a mug of tea.With one hand, he stirred it gently and with the other he propped up his head. I entered the café and made my way over to him. Levi looked up quickly as though he had smelled my presence like some sort of dog. His eyes looked like they didn't know what to do with themselves and he half smiled, half frowned in my direction.

"Hey," I said, sitting down opposite him. He nodded in reply.

"About last night..." He began.

"Was what you said true?... I mean, were you being honest?" He paused, frown deepening. Leaning back into his seat, he scratched his head and sighed.

"I can't remember anything from last night." He admitted. I jolted a little in surprise. This made things a hundred times more difficult.

"Nothing at all?"

"I remember going over to your house... then, I... did I, uh..." He tapped the mug a few times before he continued. "Did I tell you?"

"You told me a lot of things." I raised an eyebrow. He cursed under his breath.

"Can you just go over everything?"

"No." I huffed, folding my arms. I was kind of irritated, though I couldn't figure out why.

"I don't know what I said to you."

"Then how am I meant to trust that you meant what you said?"

"Well I can't tell you if I don't know." He hissed, drumming his fingers once more on the porcelain mug.

"You got yourself that drunk that you spurted out a load of crap to me and now you want to apologise, is that it?"

"Lena." He lowered his tone, dangerously. My eyebrows shot up and I leant back in my chair, clearly displeased. He immediately sighed again and raised his hands.  
"Sorry."

There were a few seconds where neither of us spoke, during which time he drank his tea and I glared out of the window. Eventually, I gathered myself.

"You said that you loved me and you kissed me." I spat out the words, a tinge of red hitting my cheeks before I'd even finished the sentence. "Then, things got a bit..." Levi was avoiding eye contact, trying to sip his tea without giving anything away. "Weird..." I finished. I'd still not grasped the events of last night fully, so I couldn't find a better way to explain it.

"How so?"

"You started asking if I remembered you. I don't know if it was just drunk ramblings or maybe you had taken something," I laughed awkwardly, "but you said that we knew each other in some other life." Levi put down his cup and held eye contact with me firmly. I couldn't read his expression at all.

"That..." He began. "That's true. Ever since I was young, I've..." He stopped what he was saying and sighed again. "Sorry, I'll tell you another time." I looked at him curiously, but it was clear that I shouldn't have heard what he said last night. Whatever the story was, he wasn't about to tell me. Maybe he had met me when we were young, or maybe he believed in some weird fate shit. Either way, it was obvious that this conversation was over. "Aside from that," He said, leaning across the table and taking my hands from my lap, entwining his fingers into mine. "What do you think?"

"So it was true then? The first part, I mean..."

"If I said it was?..."

"I'd say you were shit crazy." He came even closer to my face, never once breaking eye contact with me. "But then, so am I."

**AN: Better late than never. Found it really difficult to get any writing time recently. Then again, maybe if I got off tumblr... naah.**

**Hope you enjoyed and hope you're still staying with this story! I've said this from the beginning and I'll say it again- I will finish this story!**


	18. Complications And Questions

_**How the Mighty Fall (in Love)- Year 851**_

Erwin led Levi down the echoing stone walkway of a prison, silence oozing eerily on both sides as pairs of eyes watched them intently.

"I won't forget." Someone whispered as Levi passed. Every nerve within him screamed to turn and look, but he kept his eyes on Erwin's broad back walking in front of him and didn't flinch. "And I won't forgive." The voice continued, faded now that they had placed a bit of distance between themselves and the cell. The atmosphere in here had to be several degrees colder than on the surface. The flame torches did little to warm the icy walls dripping with damp, though Levi was grateful for the flickers of heat that licked the back of his neck as he passed them.

"Who are you showing me?" Levi asked Erwin once they reached the end of yet another passageway and Erwin fiddled with the keys to unlock the next section.

"You've been trying to solve the mystery surrounding Lena Hertz, right?" Levi jolted slightly.

"I've been trying to work out who her father was and why the Military Police were after him."

"And are you doing that for Lena's sake? Or humanity's?"

Levi decided he wasn't going to answer that. There was no need to since Erwin had resolved to show him this person anyway. He had his own ideas as to who this person may be, but nothing was for certain. Though, if it was, then the answers that Lena had been searching for lay beneath her own feet. At the same time, Levi sensed treason and controversy that would change the fate of humanity shaking the air within this prison's tiny walls.

"This, needless to say, goes no further than these walls." Erwin commanded as he finally stopped outside one prison cell and tapped on the metal bars to awaken the person within.

Steel grey eyes met with deep brown, shaded by wisps of thin hair that hadn't been cut in a while. The man perched upon the tattered mattress looked up and examined his two visitors.

"Command'r Erwin. Ya brought me a visitor. How unusual."

"Lena's father." Levi said immediately, recognising the hair and eyes within seconds, as well as the odd accent that Luca had bared. This accent was much stronger though and it was obvious that Luca's had been a poor copy of whatever strange concoction this way of speaking was.

"Who might you be, sir?" He stood jaggedly from the bed and stretched his aching limbs, hobbling towards the cell bars.

"Lena was in my squad." Levi replied, feeling none of his usual urge to establish dominance over rowdy prisoners. This man didn't come across as a mad axe murderer. "I'm Levi." Lena's father extended his hand between the bars. Without a thought, Levi took it and blinked in surprise at how weak the man was. It was clear that his age as well as years in a prison cell were catching up with him.

"Lena, huh... How is she doing?"

"We've still got her under our protection. She's doing fine. A brilliant soldier." Erwin cut in before Levi could react. Levi's eyes widened slightly as he pieced little bits of information together.

"She's a good girl, my Lena. Luca too. I still remember 'em running about naked as our lass tried to get 'em to have a bath." The man chuckled. "Have ya managed to get me a photo of either 'um yet?"

"Not yet. It's difficult to find a reason."

"Well you'd make an old man very happy. A father wants to see his kids, you know."

Levi averted his eyes from the cell, unable to face such a normal, kind father in case the truth in his eyes ruined the old man's false bubble of happiness. If he knew that his daughter was dead and his son was under daily torture for information, what kind of expression would he show? How could such a normal family be twisted by fate this much?

"Are you going to explain, Erwin?"

"Of course." He nodded. "This is Lena's father. He's under arrest for stealing from the military, but in reality we keep him here to protect him and his information from getting out. We change his name and his cell every now and again, whilst rotating the guards so no one will realise. He worked for me before the fall of wall Maria until he found an earth shattering revelation. At which point, we took him in and hid him. We were too late in securing Luca, who was immediately taken by the MP but Lena went missing for several years. When my informants found her, we persuaded her into the legion to keep her under our protection."

"It was all... part of your plan?"

"We'll talk later, Levi." Erwin dismissed. "You have plenty of questions, I assume" Enough to drive even Hanji insane. Levi felt like his fingertips had only just scratched the surface to the mystery of the Hertz family and the survey corps. She had only been a girl he had met some time on some day in some place he couldn't even remember any more. She had become integrated into his flow of time, her memories interwoven with his own. She had just been some woman he had met by chance, and now Levi was beginning to realise that her background was also part of the mysteries within and outside of the walls. She was haunting him with her existence even now.

"Well if Erwin trusts 'ya then I guess I'll answer yer questions, sir."

"That would be helpful. Levi knows the most about Lena out of any one in the survey corps. He has also been having an existential crisis of some sort recently, so I'm hopeful that your words can remind him of his duty." Levi snapped his eyes across to the commander, deepening his scowl whilst the giant of a man simply watched him. The tension between them sizzled.

"Then, I'll start asking." Levi said, eyes hardening with new-found resolve. A resolve that had been lost on him for a long time.

….

_**The Chemicals Keeping Us Together- Present Day**_

_**Several Weeks Later**_

LENA-

It took time to adjust to this new lifestyle, one where my phone was constantly buzzing with text messages and if ever there was a day where we couldn't meet up, he'd call me. Life flowed easier with somebody by my side. It was weird that I had someone who'd volunteer to pick Ema up from her after school class so I'd have chance to sleep for once following a hard night's extra work to earn money. Then there were the surprise visits home and my own spontaneous ventures to his apartment. Mum hadn't questioned where I kept going off to, but I could see the curiosity twinkling in her eye as the dark lines under my eyes faded and Ema magically appeared at home when I was still wrapped up in covers like a caterpillar.

My own curiosity was sparkling the more time I spent with Levi. He wasn't one to talk about himself, but during the time we spent together I'd learned a lot of things that he couldn't hide. Like his ridiculous obsession with cleanliness, the way he'd grit his teeth as I lifted one foot onto the coffee table and practically chase me out of the kitchen when I felt the rumbles of hunger taking over. I wasn't allowed to cook, since apparently I spilled oil and fat all over the oven and set most things on fire. I also quickly found that he was quite a moody bastard, and wasn't likely to share more than a few words on some days. It was clear that he was forcing himself to make conversation on others, a dark cloud hanging over his shoulders as he sighed deeply. And then on days where he was content, he had a habit of sticking close and talking nonsense, as though all the pent up feeling he had from the previous days was flowing out of him uncontrollably. We progressed from small talk and polite distances to stupidity and no personal space within weeks, and I couldn't help but feel like Levi settled into my pace far too quickly.

It was like he knew me inside out, every mole on my arm, every tic I had and even my humour. Two strangers such as ourselves had somehow begun to converse like long lost friends, even though I knew nothing about him. Sometimes, I had doubts.

Sometimes, Levi was eerily perceptive.

The first night I stayed over, we stayed up late to watch some trash TV, not really focussing on the events on screen, simply enjoying time together. Levi had a reclining chair, of which both of us managed to squeeze into comfortably. His arm was round my shoulder, pulling me into his chest where I could feel the rise and fall of his soft, almost non-existent breathing. His heart thudded beneath my ear, bringing me a strange sense of calmness and I was drifting off to sleep when Levi spoke.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asked, his voice just a breath of warm air across the top of my hair.

"It's Sunday so I'm at the café."

"Want me to drop you off?"

"Hmm..." I purred, stretching as I leaned back contentedly to see his face. "Can do."

"Time?"

"Eight will do." I rubbed my eyes sleepily then settled back onto his chest, giving in to the lethargic weight of my limbs. I felt him chuckle lowly, fingertips resting on my head to drift slowly through my hair.

"Go to bed. You're tired." He calmly commanded me.

"Yes sir." I muttered sarcastically. He jolted slightly and I felt him tense beneath me, but a second later he relaxed again and his fingertips began massaging my head with slightly more pressure than the butterfly footsteps he'd been applying before. He had strange moments like these often, like something I had said had sparked a thought within him. He never shared these thoughts.

"Go. You aren't even watching this."

"I am." I said, indignantly. "That old man is trying to get the kid to walk round the back of that house where the body is."

"Hmm, not bad. So you _were_ listening."

"The man's accent is nice. Even though he's the criminal." I admitted, turning my face on his chest to watch the figures dance colourfully across the screen through blurry eyes.

"Because it sound like your dad?" Before I could nod in agreement, a thought sprang to the forefront of my mind and all of a sudden, I was awake. I sat up sharply and met Levi's now confused expression.

"How do you know?" Suspicion edged into my tone and I carefully watched Levi's expression change to one of quiet shock. It took him a second to reply, but when he did so, it didn't sit right with me. Like finding an oasis in Antarctica, it didn't make sense.

"You mentioned it before."

"No I didn't. I don't talk about my dad."

"How would I know if you hadn't told me?" He shrugged, all his attention suddenly on the television screen as though he really wanted to watch the final five minutes of the episode. I watched him for several seconds, noticing how he refused to speak any more and barely made eye contact for the next few minutes. However, I decided to let it slide. I had known the from the start that he was hiding something in our relationship. I had theories. The most convincing argument I had was that we may have met as kids. It really wasn't anything to fall out about, especially since I'd get it out of him someday.

For sure.

It was just strange. Our relationship was odd and thwart with secrets. There were a lot of conversations that went unsaid between us, a lot of trust and understanding that was probably misplaced due to the fact that honestly, we had just met. Calling it trust was also probably the wrong word to use. For me, I felt like if I prised open the box inside his head of all the things he didn't want to tell me, we'd break apart. It felt like we were walking down the same old paths that we knew, never daring to stray away into new territory in case we couldn't find our way back. I definitely didn't trust him - he was hiding way to much – but I could understand him enough to get past that.

Though one day, this balance we are currently walking will tip and it's all uncharted territory from then on.

"Oi," Levi stirred me from my thoughts. "I'm on a training course with work from tomorrow."

"Mmm? Until when?"

"Wednesday. So I won't be here."Another thing about Levi I had learned; adequate prior warning was classed as more than a day's notice.

"Where is it?"

"About two hours drive. The company booked the hotel so I'm staying over."

"Hmmm, sounds nice." I muttered and Levi immediately scoffed. The ending credits sounded on the TV but neither of us moved.

"You going to be all right on your own? You have a busy week next week, right?" It was my turn to snort.

"How many years do you think I've lived without you? I'll manage."

"Watch your tone," Levi scolded, ruffling my hair like he knew I hated. I squirmed out of his reach and decided it was time to head off to bed. "Want to sleep with me tonight?"

"How eloquent." I spat, fighting the blush rising to my cheeks as I stumbled away from the chair.

"I didn't mean that. I meant instead of sleeping in the spare room."

"Not yet. Maybe when you get back." Levi clunked the reclining chair back upright and stood up with a grunt.

"Okay."

"Good night."

"Night, virgin."

"You fuck-! … Say that once more and I'll remove all your labels from your drawers. Then I'll let the dog run rampage after I've walked it through every puddle in the street."

"What a foul brat." Levi cursed under his breath, slamming shut the door to his room.

I gave the snoozing puppy a long sigh as it lazily opened one eye to watch me.

"Just you and me for a few days then, eh?~"

…

_I was having a nightmare. That much became apparent to me pretty quickly, but it didnt stop the images from coming._

_Corpses danced before me, hanging from thin spiders silk wires like puppets. One of the corpses had hair the colour of tree bark and eyes like chocolate, but she was a blue shade of white and bright crimson lined the crown of her head. She was dead._

_The next corpse was well built and stocky, his hair blond and shaven with hands like spades waving jovially at me. His lower half was connected by strained strings of tissue, where the normal flesh had been bitten off in one huge bite, the molars crushing his spine and pelvis into fractures. He was dead._

_The third was different. She was beautiful- the perfect figure and long, slender legs. Her face deserved to be framed and preserved as artwork. That slight twitch of her mouth that indicated she was fighting a smile played across her face - the smile I loved. It was a smile filled with the pain and hatred she had felt and that had built her into this spectacular woman hanging before me. A woman of morals, of intelligence and of worthless pride._

_She was also dead._

_Her skin was marred by a slick slice through the neck. All the way through. The blade had torn her throat into two pieces, silence her._

_Why had she died like this?_

_Why had she died by the hand of another human, not the monsters we were fighting?_

_By whose hand had she fallen?_

I don't know if I woke up or came to, but which ever it was, the pain ricocheting through my skull wasn't unfamiliar. It wasn't pleasant either and my mouth tasted the sourness of bile which burned all the way down my throat. I was panting heavily, like I had been chased. Sat up on the sofa I had been resting on, I clawed at my heart, begging it to slow down as the anxiety pounding through my veins bordered me on a panic attack. Or maybe I was already having one. My breathing wouldn't calm down. The dead bodies in my head wouldn't fade. I could see their eyes, their dead eyes, watching me, asking me, _why did you survive but not me?_

I staggered to my feet, pacing the room, breath heaving now through a throat that felt half its normal size. That had been Lena. And Guthrie. And Luann. Each of them had been there, murdered. I had been staring at empty cases, the contents had been switched off so easily. The candles of their lives had been blown out effortlessly.

What was this dream?

I had to call someone, and I realised the phone was already in my hand. Texting wasn't good enough. I had to hear them. I had to know they were here.

I called Luann. She wasn't picking up. As adrenaline fired through my chest and set my fingertips tingling, I dialled another number.

"Yo!" Lena replied, voice chiming happily. "What's up, bro~?" I removed the receiver from my face and breathed deeply, a sigh of relief swamping me.

"Where are you?"

"On my way to the cafe, as I do every Sunday. Why?"

"You okay?" There was a pause as I heard Lena talking with someone in the background. A deep male voice lined with sharpness.

'You left your crisp packet in the car. Do that again and I'll set fire to your Lion King DVD collection'.

'Just because you have unresolved childhood issues, don't take that out on my DVDs. Hang on, I'm on the phone'.

"What was that?" She asked.

"Ah, nothing. I'll call you later."

"Mm? Okay?" She seemed hesitant to hang up, but I was impatient to calm my throbbing nerves and call the next number. I tried Luann again and yet again, she didn't answer. Next, Guthrie.

"Who is it?"

"Read the caller ID before you answer the phone, you Luddite ape."

"Kurt? What's up?"

"What are you doing?"

"What are _you_ doing?" He retorted quizzically.

"It doesn't matter, I got my answer." I grunted, hanging up. With apprehension, I retried Luann.

She picked up on the second ring.

"Kurt!" She stammered. "What's wrong?"

"Ah, uh, nothing."

"What? Really? Then why are you spamming me with calls?! I'm busy!"

"Where are you?"

"What the fuck does that have to do with you? I'm busy, idiot. Text me instead." And she hung up the phone.

My heart hadn't slowed completely and I still felt like throwing up everything I'd eaten for the past three days, but psychologically, I had received some assurance. Now, it was time to make my final call.

"This is Hanji Zoe. Who's this?"

**AN-**

**I can only thank you for hanging on. Thanks for all the reviews! I've not got any more free time than I've had in the past few months so I can't guarantee another chapter soon, but I can assure you it will come! Eventually!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	19. Mistaken Child

"This is Hanji Zoe. Who's this?"

"It's Kurt Jung, ah, Ackerman from the other day. Do you think we could meet up?"

…

**LENA-**

Whatever had transgressed in my ten minute absence during my break, I didn't know. But the crying girl in my arms and her quivering form pissed me off. Once Ava had calmed enough to explain, I loosened my arms to keep firm, reassuring eye contact with her.

It turned out that the new boss was indeed a complete and utter wank stain on the human race, which I had pretty much guessed from my initial encounter with him weeks ago. He was supposedly the grandson of Mrs Amistad, who had recently had a heart attack and needed a rest from work. I couldn't trace a hint of her genetics in this foreign monster though. Mrs Amistad was adorable – the way she would send you home with excess scones and pat your head when you seemed down, the times when she had brought me books she'd come across after I had briefly mentioned my like for something, all of these sweet characteristics were lost on this pigeon dick loser.

Not only was he unkind and brutally honest with his thoughts, he was also wrong. He was one of those people who voiced their thoughts aloud without a filter, but that wasn't really the issue. I was dating the King of no-filter, for gods sake. The understanding and empathetic grandmother to this beast was the polar opposite of the self-centred ball sack now running her business. To give an example, he was in his twenties but would probably tell you that last century was the best and since then, the world had 'deteriorated'. 'Women of today parade around in next to nothing' etc.

Which brings me neatly onto why there was a snivelling Ava drooling on my shoulder.

Being the little pure muffin she is, Ava was devastated into a sobbing wreck when the guy tore into her about the skirt length she had turned up in to work. She had been late, which would be a fair cause for concern for a boss, had the reason not been the viable fact that she'd had to take her grandmother to hospital after a fall. Because of this, she turned up to work fresh from the hospital in what she happened to have been wearing at the time of the incident - a miniskirt and blouse. Apparently, not only had she been attacked for turning up late without prior warning, but also for turning up in utterly 'inappropriate' and 'unprofessional' attire which didn't meet his standards.

He didn't exactly meet my standards for a human being, but at least I wasn't ripping into him for it. Yet.

"Want me to have a word?" I asked Ava as she finally calmed down. She didn't loosen her hold on me though.

"No. I mean, I get why he was angry … and that … but, he was just so scary ..."

"You know who's scarier?" I asked and she raised her wide eyes quizzically. "I am. And next time he shouts at you like that, let me know. I'll eat him." She tittered. I remembered something and made a noise that caused her to look up again. "Ah, speaking of scary people. Remember that really good looking guy who came a few weeks ago?"

"The short one with dark hair?"

"The same." I nodded. "Well, I scored."

"You what?"

"We're dating."

"Really?!" Ava held an expression of disbelief that almost insulted me, but then yeah – Levi really was out of my league in terms of looks. The reason there weren't mountains of females swarming at his feet was primarily his personality. A rotten, blunt, scathing man who would indeed throw your shoes out of the apartment window if not placed on the rack after his third warning. Tried and tested theory.

"Through certain circumstances, we met several times and then just … yeah."

"Congratulations!" She beamed. "Although, there goes my £5 on Guthrie."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Ah yeah, after work, what are you -"

"Excuse me!" A voice interrupted and the temperature in my forehead sky-rocketed. "There are customers out there and I find two of my workers chit-chatting like they're volunteers! Your wage is in my hands now, I hope you understand."

"You can-"

"Sorry, sir." Ava quickly pulled me aside and I decided to fume silently. Whilst my toes curled like snails in my shoes, he adjusted his waistcoat – I didn't know an action like that could scream pretentious until now.

"Your break is over now, Lena. Now lets get some work done for once." The stream of insults I was churning through my head managed to stay there for once as Ava hurried me out of the way. She went to assist Ymir in preparing a tea set, whilst I set about washing the _three dishes_ that had accumulated. _Three. _I was refraining from making some smart comment about the _vast_ amount of work that had stacked up in my two minute conversation with Ava, but looking over at her nervously clattering spoons made me rethink. I'd probably give her a heart attack. I settled for a one man rebellion and read the message I had felt vibrate in my pocket whilst I was drying off the second dish.

_See you Wednesday_

I snorted. Looks like I'd not be seeing Levi for a few days and the last message my loving partner had sent me was three words – and not the romantic ones. He'd not said goodbye when he dropped me off this morning so I had suspected that I would see him later. Well, this was how it was when you dated the definition of aloof.

I stashed my phone away (little protest over now) and decided to get back to work. There really wasn't much to do – it was only 10:00 and business didn't usually pick up until dinnertime. There was only four of us working: Ava and I out front and Ymir and Christa in the kitchen. We could have probably managed with two. Before I'd even thought about doing something, someone else had usually got there sooner and it would take another ten minutes thinking to find something else to fill the time. I scrubbed a few tables that were probably already sprayed within an inch of their wooden lives and then pretended to sort change in the counter to look like I was busy. There were only two people in the café now, friends of Mrs Amistad chattering by the window and having a full debate about the weather. With a sigh, I flicked out my phone again and responded to Levi's message.

_Enjoy the trip, _I sent back. After three more minutes (having stacked the 2ps and 1ps into separate sections) there was no response so I added: _which bleach do I use on the carpets?_ Within seconds, my phone buzzed.

_Don't._

_[Buzz]_

_Leave it. I'll do it. _

_[Buzz]_

_What's happened? Why are you cleaning? What are you cleaning up? What have you done?_

I decided to leave him in panic and slipped my phone back into my pocket once more, returning to scanning the café for work. The constant buzzing of my phone amused me to no end, but a sharp glance from someone else who seemed to be panicking caught my attention. Ava caught my eyes, lip wobbling as she backed away from a tall woman leaning over her. The scene oozed tension as the young woman, whoever she was, raised her voice so that I could hear it.

"What do you mean, you don't serve Chai tea?" With a flick of her head, long red curls bounced over one shoulder and a hand stuck itself to her pencil-skirt-lined hip.

"I-it's not that we don't serve it," Ava quickly replied. "Today, w-we don't have any. Our order comes in tomorrow ..."

"But it's on the menu. I always have it. I came last Sunday and had it."

"But today ..." Ava took a pace backwards and looked at me again.

Now, between us waitresses we had a sort of code. We knew who worked best with what type of customer and in general, customer service was left up to the smiley, friendly, cute girls Ava and Christa. Ymir and (especially) myself were banned from dealing with incidents as we had a tendency to drop matchsticks into oil. However, in certain situations, Ava and Christa were basically like ducklings in the lion cage, which required myself or Ymir to step up and do some putting-down-of-feet. This seemed to be one of those times.

"'scuse me, can I help you?" I called loudly from behind the woman. She turned to face me, eyes running up and down to evaluate me. I made sure to do the same.

"What good's a café if it can't serve what's on the menu?" She cocked her head, picking up one of the menus specifically to point at the type of tea she wanted.

"We apologise, but we can serve you any of the other types if you like."

"If I wanted one of the other types, we wouldn't be having this problem." She clicked her tongue and tried to stare me down, but I wasn't having any of it. I had this sort of mother hen complex when it came to Ava. I could go bat shit crazy if someone was threatening the little chick but when I was on my own, I'd cry at the sight of a mosquito. I likened it to mothers who could lift cars when their child was trapped beneath. Maybe not so powerful though - more bitchy.

"If you turn left out of here and head to the traffic lights, there's another tea shop around the corner. They might be able to help you."

"Isn't this a _tea_ room? I can't believe this!"

"It's only a f-"

"Lena!" Pigeon dick snapped in a barely hidden whisper. "Get back behind the counter. I'll deal with this."

Ava scampered past and grabbed my hand as she did so, removing me from the situation which I felt I had handled quite well. To say I hadn't sworn or made a sarcastic comment, I had done brilliantly (okay, I had been close to swearing but we'll ignore that). I hadn't solved the problem but people like that were just _making _problems as they went along. It's only a cup of tea, for godsake.

It turned out I was wrong.

"What were you doing?!" Pigeon dick shouted once he had dealt with the woman. I had no idea what had transgressed, whether she had fucked off down main street or found another tea that would satisfy her. Either way, Ava and I were getting hissed at by the 'boss'. "Is that how you deal with customers?"

"We didn't have the tea." I shrugged.

"Sorry ..." Ava mumbled, voice barely audible as she scrunched her uniform between her fingers.

"This is only a small café! If you are argumentative with the customers and send them off to other places, there'll be no wage for you or I!"

"We didn't have the tea though." I repeated. This seemed to tip him over. He shot me a glare and raised his finger to point at me.

"Then you persuade her to try another after apologising profusely."

"I tried that first. Did she look like she wanted another tea?"

"I have never seen such a poor attitude toward a customer in my life! Do you call that proper customer service? Is that what my grandma taught you?!"

"Your grandma taught me to be polite and courteous, even when scolding."

"Well at least she taught you something right."

"Seems you didn't listen though." I retorted and Ava was suddenly pulling on the back of my uniform anxiously. 'Stop', it said. But it seemed I was too late. Master Amistad had become quiet. He took a deep breath, air hissing through his nostrils. He let the air whistle back out through pursed lips as the silence droned on.

"This is your first warning, Lena. And I only give three. Go home for today, and next week I expect you to return to work with an apology and a better work ethic."

Fuck this.

I slammed my locker shut, swinging my bag onto the floor. Ava hovered nervously. Making an effort to make as much noise as possible, I stuffed my work clothes haphazardly into my bag and then cursed over and over as I rummaged for my phone. What an _arse_. What a cod-faced _idiot_. The cretin. My hands fumbled as they trembled in anger, until the phone in my hands clattered to the floor. With another sharp grunt, I swore.

"Great, the screen cracked." I grumbled, stashing it into my coat pocket along with my bus pass and spare change.

"Will you be alright getting home?" Ava mumbled barely above a whisper. She probably thought that the thin glass layer protecting my sanity would shatter like my phone screen if she raised her voice.

"I'll be fine." I huffed, as best I could avoiding snapping at her. "But seriously, what a cunt."

"Sorry for dragging you into it."

"No, it's okay." I waved her off, tightening the laces on my shoes with fingers as nimble as toes. "I could hit the guy so hard right now." I sensed Ava wriggle uncomfortably; I paused. "What?" I demanded, probably more violently than strictly required. Ava jumped where she stood and avoided eye contact. This was her biggest fault – she couldn't lie for anyone. And probably my biggest fault was calling that a fault. I was getting wound up though and clearly she was thinking something that I wouldn't like to hear. Instead of letting her maintain her peaceful silence, the irritated shell of me was glaring at her to spill it. Ava fumbled with her skirt under the pressure but I could tell she was about to fold. She knew me just as well as I knew her, and she could practically read my stubbornness in the lines between my brows.

"J-just this time … I think you were wrong."

"Hah?"

"It's my fault for dragging you into it but you were a bit … I just think you should be careful … you might get fired."

"That bastard can do fuck all. If he does fire me, Mrs Amistad will take me back."

"That's what I'm saying … You know how old she is. Don't you think she'll be retiring soon? You need this job, don't you? I just think … you should try doing what he says."

…

The bus ride was painful, to say the least. I hated being trapped inside a congested metal container, occupied with only my destructive thoughts. I felt like I was flooded with negative emotions – angry because of the boss, upset because I missed Mrs Amistad, embarrassed by the whole situation and guilty that I had snapped at Ava. Each thought I had rolled on and on, before coming full circle into a cycle of negativity. The old man on the seat in front of me pissed me off, the bus driver pissed me off, the weather pissed me off … I was just in a genuinely foul mood.

I could lose my job over this.

I really needed to grow up. A part of me knew I'd have to start calling pigeon dick by his proper name and accept that he was a corporate boss and not the nice, soothing Mrs Amistad who'd mothered me for the few years I'd known her. But then, the other part of me which was still bubbling at the forefront of my mind wasn't ready to be mature. Rational thoughts weren't welcome right now.

To distract myself, I opened the six messages from Levi which I hadn't yet read.

_Don't ignore me, brat_

_Are you winding me up?_

_This better be a wind-up._

_Don't use bleach on the carpets. There's a carpet cleaner in the cupboard – follow the instruction manual in there._

_In fact, just call a cleaner in._

_Ill pay, just call a cleaner in, please._

The irritation building in my chest alleviated slightly as I breathed a giggle through pouted lips. There were a few messages on the group chat, too, as Stein tried to organise the concert we were supposed to be going to in a few weeks time. It was a vein attempt though because trying to organise my friendship group was like trying to catch running water. None of us could guarantee a time or day and messages were lost in the chat by waves of nonsense. The conversation between Guthrie, Stein and Kurt had diverted so far away from the original question Stein had sent that it was impossible to bring the conversation back to where it should be. I slipped my phone away as my stop came up.

I had decided to return to my own house to pick up some things and explain properly to my mother where I'd been for the past few days. I had mumbled a string of gibberish to her vaguely over the phone because it wasn't the conversation I wanted to have anywhere else but to her face. It had been a while since I had dated someone, after all. She was on nights this week at the hospital and so likely in bed, resting. If I could avoid answering why I was home at this time of the day, I could get down to the business of whose house I had been staying at. And then onto the conversation of – "don't tell dad".

My dad's reaction to my last boyfriend had put me off dating for life, and lord knows that Levi wouldn't be able to smile it off like the previous guy.

He'd probably swear at him.

I found myself hoping mum wasn't awake because I was still seething inside. I was no longer swearing under every breath and cursing all that the light touched but I still wasn't in the mood for human interaction. Upon arriving home though, my attention was grasped by another event before I could even wonder if mum was around.

I pressed the light switch twice more and the lack of reaction was the same. The blinds were shut, which probably meant mum wasn't up yet. I glared at the light bulb, flicking the switch a few more times. Nothing. With a huff, I dropped my bag aside and kicked off my shoes, heading to the cupboard to find a new bulb. As I entered the kitchen, my feet padded against something wet. I retracted like an eel and found the light switch that did work. The lights flashed on and a puddle of water shone back at me. I traced it with my eyes and it led back to the washing machine.

"Fucking great. Add it to my fucking list. The washing machine is broken."

I decided to tend to the issue of darkness first, simply to get it out of the way. Light streamed in upon opening the curtains and each turn of the blinds chased the shadows further away. I clattered clumsily around the kitchen until I found a suitable light bulb to swap and dragged a stool across the floor to stand on. Getting the old bulb out took a matter of seconds; getting the new one in was proving to be more of a pain than it should have been. Thirty seconds of fumbling later and the inevitable happened – I dropped the fucker. On top of that, I tried to catch it by leaning backwards and reaching out my hands, which tipped my precarious balance on the three legged stool, sending me backwards towards the ground with a smash of glass and a grunt of a swear word barely masked.

"Lena? Are you okay?"

**AN-**

**Aaand we meet Lena's mum. For the first (proper) time. I wanted to get this up soon so it's probably riddled with mistakes and repeated words … sorry … Ill check it later eheh.**

**As always, thanks for reading!**


	20. Reasons

_**How the Mighty Fall (in Love)- Year 851**_

Under a darkened sky, Kurt Jung shivered. Goosebumps were popping up all over his skin because he hadn't brought his jacket and the evening air was bitter. He wasn't ready to head back inside though. Ghosts of faces kept swimming in front of his eyes and if he bumped into someone like this, he wasn't sure if he'd flip or break down. Either way, he needed more time to himself. Freezing to death was also satisfying his self destructive mindset at the moment. His eyes flickered over the horizon which wasn't a pretty red hue like most sunsets. The sun was merely disappearing and the grey-ish clouds were turning a darker shade of grey. All in all, the landscape was just as depressed as he was. It also shared the fact that it seemed unable to decide what to do with itself and although it had been clear all day, spatters of rain occasionally chilled Kurt's skin though they'd fade soon enough.

It was just his luck to be the last one to live. That was the thought that kept pummelling him, keeping him awake at night so that he had to seek out the solidarity of the rooftop to feel better. He didn't know what was worse, dying first or last. The bitter side of him was jealous of Ava, who had died before anyone else and not had the joy of experiencing all he had. Lena had been kidnapped and tortured and he'd had to live though that – she hadn't. Then, after all that, he'd lost Lena and Guthrie like insects swatted from the air. It was as quick as it was painful. And then Luann … he didn't know what to make of it. He was close to her even though she was a foul bitch. He'd never had anything against her, but their group had always been at odds with Luann thanks to the knife-edge relationship she had with Lena. And then Guthrie was on Lena's side no matter what, so Kurt had kind of just followed.

Kurt choked on his breath, furiously scraping at his eyes.

Really, fuck this. Fuck being the last one. People had been sickeningly kind to him over the last few weeks. Even Levi had spared him an odd look. The bastard had been all over the place for weeks after Lena's death and Kurt hadn't even realised that Lena's fling with him hadn't been at all one sided. Neither Kurt nor Levi followed their usual routines for a while, both trapped in misery so they'd ended up not making contact for a while. Then, one day, Kurt had been feeling particularly awful – it was just one of those days – and Levi had caught him trying not to break down in the corridor. The exchange had been short. Kurt fought for breath and tried to regain his composure, despite the fact that all he could see was dead corpses. Levi slowed to a halt and maintained a short distance between them.

"_Sorry, sir," He had muttered and Levi had said nothing. His eyes faltered from their usual glare and just for a moment, he looked pained. Kurt didn't know if his breakdown was stirring up the memories Levi had locked away, or if he was empathising with him, remembering his own pain. Either way, the look was powerful but also momentary. Levi bowed his head a little, then continued on his way._

The sun had pretty much gone now and another shiver racked his spine. These days were less often now. At first, he'd walked around like a zombie and the littlest of things had set him off crying again. The pain never lessened, but he became able to shut it off. He'd been so ill at first and he never wanted to feel that low again, so the tremors began to wear off from every night to every few nights. Then, from every few nights to less than once a week. This had been the first depressive session he'd experienced in at least three weeks. Though, he didn't find any comfort in that.

"Ah, Kurt Jung!" A far-too-happy individual bounded over to him and plonked herself beside him. He didn't even spare them a glance; he was too tired. "I need to speak with you."

"Yes sir?"

The silence was strange and it eventually pulled Kurt's eyes to Hanji. He found her to be wearing a strange expression. When he caught her eyes, she looked out into the same direction he had been staring until now. She wasn't exactly … sad. Or serious. There was a very definite edge to her that wasn't her usual energetic self.

"I have a job for you," she finally announced and Kurt raised his eyebrow a little. He briefly wondered if this was going to be some vein attempt to cheer him up. "It's dangerous, but important. Well, at least I think so."

"I'm listening." At this point, the weather decided to turn again and cold droplets fell onto the rooftop. Hanji turned her eyes to the sky and squinted a little.

"I've been thinking. About the last expedition." Kurt wasn't going to say anything: that ball was stuck up in his throat again. "But first, do you want to hear this? It might be upsetting. And it's definitely dangerous. If I'm right, that is."

"If dangerous bothered me I'd be in the military police."

"I suppose. Okay." She shifted, stretching out her legs in front of her. She was tall for a woman and certainly taller than Levi. "I'll cut straight to the chase. When Luann died, I saw her body just before it was burned. There was a slash across her throat." Kurt swallowed because he needed to listen to this without breaking down. It was hard when the images were so raw. "There was a load of other injuries too but they all seemed to be covering up for it. What I mean to say is, it's suspicious."

Something clicked and Kurt felt his hands jerk by his side. "You're saying … she wasn't killed by a titan?"

"Well titans don't have claws. She had a slash from a blade across her neck. There's no reason for me to believe she'd have done it herself. What do you think?"

"Well, maybe, but … no. I don't believe she would."

"Then we assume someone else did." The atmosphere dropped and was now thick and tense. She was insinuating something huge here, and Kurt was inclined to believe her. The scientist was crackers, mad as a box of frogs, but she was intelligent and the thing was, so was Luann. She had proven herself time and time again to have a mind sharper than her preened nails. She was bright and never skipped a beat when it came to reading people and figuring out situations. If anyone was going to be killed for knowing too much, it was her.

"I assume she either saw something she shouldn't have, or figured something out. It may have been a gradual thing and the perpetrator used the opportunity of the expedition to cover the murder, or it may have been something big and important so she was killed straight away. Either way, it spells betrayal."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I have a plan."

…

Coaxing a rat out of its hiding place requires bait, and Kurt was well aware that he was just that. Here he was, gathering as large a group as possible so he could drop the hint and spread the poison gas that would force the traitor out of his hole. It was dinner time and so the perfect opportunity to widen his influence. Basically, his job was to pass round word that he'd found a suspicious letter in Luann's room after her death. It was difficult to stay vague on the matter, but he was a good talker and always had been. He dropped down onto a seat at the busiest table, making easy conversation with an acquaintance of his to melt him into the group dynamics. People quickly latched onto him and the conversation rolled easily along. Eventually, he planted the seed – a suspicious letter he didn't quite understand. Should he show the commanders?

Eyes widened and his conversation with a select few caught the attention of the whole table. Hopefully, the message would spread and by tomorrow, everyone would know that he was in possession of important, secret information from a certain Luann Geier. It was then a case of luring the rat into the trap. It was dangerous, but then, Kurt wasn't really fixed on the issue of life and death at the moment. He was that torn up by what he'd lost that sometimes he thought he might as well be gone.

It was that night that things went awry. Much sooner than anticipated. Kurt wasn't ready for it and had no idea how to deal with the fact that his room looked like an explosion had gone off within. He returned from his evening shower which he had at the same time every night, hair still dripping onto his shoulders. His towel was slung over his arm. His room mates were still out, probably playing card games elsewhere. He opened the door to chaos. Every draw was open in a frantic search for something – of course, he knew what. His heart leapt into his chest and he stepped out of the room quickly. Someone had been in. The pillows were out of their cases, cupboards had moved, not a single area had been left untouched. Kurt cautiously stepped into the room … it was silent as the night outside his open window. He needed to tell Hanji.

In a flash, he had abandoned his towel and items on the floor and sprinted down the torch lit corridor. He quickly calculated where she'd be, planning his route to her room and wishing he'd have picked up some sort of weapon before he'd left. He suddenly felt bare and afraid. Death was suddenly much closer and _real_. Kurt rounded the corner to the stairwell …

… and felt a sharp pain settle between the ribs on his right side.

_Drip._

_Drip._

_Drip._

_**The Chemicals Keeping Us Together- Present Day**_

**LENA-**

A stinging pain burned in my palm and I lifted my hand to find it was punctuated with a shard of glass. Things just weren't going my way today.

"Let me get the first aid kit." Mum tutted. She rifled through some cupboards as I shuffled myself into a seated position. My back really hurt and I knew I'd pulled it on the fall. What was I, 80? Mum came round and gently touched the glass embedded into my hand. She judged it safe to pull out and did so, immediately pushing a cotton pad across the wound to stop the blood flow. It wasn't a serious injury, just irritating.

"What are you doing back at this time?"

"Boss let me off for today." Yeah, I lied. What else was I supposed to do?

"I see." She closed by fingers around the pad whilst she grasped an antiseptic wipe. She tossed it into my lap and set about sweeping the shards into a neat pile and disposing of them in the bin. "Your dad called. He wants to see you."

"Makes a change," I scoffed and mum just gave me the look. The mum look. "I … have something to tell you."  
"You have a lot to tell me. Which one is it?" She said without even glancing my way. She was already replacing the light bulb.

"I'm dating someone."

"The guy who turned up drunk on our doorstep?" I winced. "I know." This time, a smile tugged at her lips.

"He's not usually drunk."  
"I should hope not."

"His name is Levi and he works for a large company and he has an apartment."  
"Where you have been sleeping, I guess?" Could my face burn any brighter?

"Yeah … sometimes."

"Are you going to introduce me?"

"He's not good with people." I admitted and a small frown adorned her eyes but not her mouth. She stepped down from the stool, job done, and looked my way.

"What do you mean by that? Doesn't he want to meet us?" _Us. _She said that like her and dad were still together. He'd left the house years ago to pursue work around the country. Sure, they hadn't divorced but our family had well and truly split in two. There wasn't much keeping us tied together.

"I'm giving him more time. He won't be comfortable with it since he doesn't do well with making conversation, especially with new people."

"Your taste in men isn't brilliant." Mum tutted again and knelt to address my palm once more. I opened my fingers to let her remove the pad and begin wiping the wound clean with the wipe that she ripped open between her teeth.

"I could say the same to you." She didn't respond to that and it was clear she didn't approve. I didn't hate dad, I just didn't feel like I knew him enough to love him and that made me bitter. From the little I'd gathered though, my family problems were _nothing _compared to Levi's. "Anyway, he's away on a business trip right now but I'll ask him to come see you when he's back."  
"Let me know and I'll cook dinner."  
"Best not, that'd make things worse."

"I'm not getting the best impression of him, you know."

"I know, but he's one of those people you have to get to know to understand. He _seems_ a little unsociable … well, he _is_. But when he knows you, he opens up a lot."  
"Like a cat," Mum mused, wrapping a small bandage around my palm. It was excessive for my tastes but I wasn't complaining. I'd take it off later. "Anything else to tell me?"

How about, how I'm completely done with life and everything it keeps throwing at me? About how I'm getting horrid and twisted with Ema because she's occupying so much of my life to do menial things like take her to school every morning? Or how all my jobs were slowly going downhill and every day my legs grew heavier and every morning it was getting harder to get out of bed?

… or how none of that mattered any more because I had Levi. He was always there to explore and keep me interested. There was so much of him I wanted to know and see and tease. I was beginning to look forward and not back to how things were. He was lessening the pain of Ema, too, having become her morning transport to school on his way to work. It was a bit out of his way, but he always insisted he was going that way anyway. Ema had significantly warmed to him as well. It was a wonder she hadn't already told mum all about him. Maybe she had. And then job wise … well, I felt a little better just knowing I could borrow money from him whenever. Not that I had or ever would; it was just a relief to have someone there.

"I'm fine, everything's good." I said and mum nodded and set about mopping the floor. "What are we going to do about the washer?"

"Ahh, can you have a look at it? Last time you fixed it."

"I wouldn't say fixed … I replaced a few pieces on it that were worn out but I'm pretty sure the problem is still there. I'll call Guth over."

"Good idea. I'd like to see him, it has been a while."

"Same, to be honest. I've been busy."

"Let me know when he's coming and I'll make dinner."  
"Honestly, mum, you don't have to make dinner for every living thing."

…

Guthrie picked up after a few rings, which was rare because I was sure he didn't know which button to press even though he'd had a mobile for a few years now.

"Hello, who's calling?"

"Your worst nightmare. Anyway, are you free?"

"Lena? Yeah, I'm free. Well, I'm at work but I'm free."  
"So you're not free?"

"Is it urgent? I can ask to get it off?"

"No, don't bother. I have a small job for you. And also I just wanted to see you since it has been a while."

"W-well," he stuttered and I heard a clanking of tools muffled through the line. "I can meet you after work. I can finish at three today."

"If you meet me at the park, I'll walk the dog."

"Mike? Alright." No, not Mike, I meant the Pepsi brat. But I didn't correct him since it'd take too long to explain.

"So, half three in the park? What's the job you have for me?"

"Ah, our washing machine is being a pain. But we'll talk about that later."

"Want me to buy you dinner?"

"Want me to buy _you_ dinner?" I asked and Guthrie grunted on the other end.

"You're such a pain, you know. Friends do things like that sometimes. Buy each other dinner."

"There's no point though since it's me that owes you anyway."

"I was being nice. Anyway, I've got to get back to work or I'll get shouted at."

"Yeah, 'kay. See you later."

…

By the time I'd finished chatting with mum in the living room whilst watching some trash TV absent mindedly, then put together a bag with a few things in to take to Levi's, then dragged Mike on his lead because I felt guilty for neglecting him, it was going on one o'clock. Rucksack on my shoulders, I shouted goodbye to mum and pulled Mike along the floor. Grudgingly, he got to his feet and padded behind me. The walk to Levi's would take a while, which gave me plenty of thinking time. Mike wasn't too impressed with having to move from his bed but some exercise would do him good and until now, he wasn't misbehaving too much. He occasionally stopped dead and ragged my arm out of it's socket, but with the bribe of food he was back tottering along again. I had to stop him sniffing stranger's a lot, too, which was a weird habit of his.

The buzzing in my pocket alerted me to a phone call and surprisingly it was Annie. I was popular today.

"Hello?"  
"Why aren't you working?" Annie immediately asked.

"Why did you ring me if you thought I'd be working?"

"I was going to leave you a message since it was easier than texting."

"Want me to hang up then?" I said, dryly.

"There's a physiotherapy lecture at my university next weekend. I can probably get you in. The man who runs it does evening sessions every now and again."

"What's the point?" I scoffed. It came out harsher than I meant for. "I won't ever be able to afford the degree so there's no point in doing it."

"I thought you'd say that." Annie replied. There was no annoyance or pity in her voice. She was, as always, unreadable and calm. "Well, it's there if you change your mind."

"Thanks."

"If you aren't going to save up for university, why don't you get a proper full time job?" I ground my teeth and refrained from sighing. I'd avoided this topic entirely for … well, years. The optimist in me had always been hoping for the day when mum would say, 'you can go to university now', or when dad would come back and lend me the money, or when I'd have saved enough to do it on my own. These were all ridiculous dreams that had never come to fruit, and my hopes had drowned with my bank account.

"I've been looking."  
"Hmm," Annie didn't seem entirely interested. "Well, I'm hanging up. Bye."

"Thanks for the riveting conversation." I snorted, and the line went dead just a second later.

**AN-**

*** Throws biscuits at you to distract you from what just happened ***

**I don't make a habit of killing characters btw. It just fits the vision I have for this story, which I'll reveal at the end obvs. Until then, enjoy not knowing.**

**Anyway, sorry it's late. I ended up starting writing Gintama fics and got too into all the different ideas I have. That was a bad move haha. There's just so much I love about that damn manga though … Oh, and I binge read Cheese in the Trap because jesus, it's so good. I recommend. **

**Until next time, cheerio.**


	21. We Are Alive

"There are … two." Guthrie scratched his fingers through blond, short hair. "This better not be the favour, Lena. I can't look after a dog."

"Ah, no, this is …" I stumbled over my words. Guth had appeared out of nowhere behind me and I had been completely immersed into my own world until then. With two dogs splitting me in two, one pulling me forwards enthusiastically, and one dragging me backwards less so, I was having trouble walking beside Guthrie as he stepped into line. "Let's sit down," I said. "I'm tired."

We perched ourselves onto the nearest bench. He took one of the leads from me and tried to stop Pepsi from sprinting off into the distance. I tried to think about how I could bring up the fact that I had a boyfriend casually. I didn't want to cause a fuss, and fussing was what Guthrie did best. The best I could do was to just blurt it out.

"This is Pepsi, Levi's dog."

"Who?"

"My boyfriend," I replied. Was that casual? How quickly could I move off from this conversation without it seeming forced. Guthrie hadn't replied. After several seconds, I had to look up. I caught his eyes and he looked away.

"Oh," he said, forcing his eyes to look back again. They darted around looking everywhere except from me.

"He's away so I'm looking after the dog at the minute."

" … How long have you known him?"

"To be honest, not long." I decided to move on – Guthrie seemed to be enjoying this discussion as much as I was. "Anyway, the favour I need to ask of you is to take a look at our dishwasher. Mum has made dinner for you, too."

"Ah, I see. Okay. That's fine. I'll take a look." He fumbled with his thumbs, twisting the lead between his fingers. "How is your mum?"

"She's good."

"Good."

"And … you're happy? With your boyfriend, I mean."

"Well, yeah. Yeah, I'm happy."

"Good."

Wow, this meeting had gone down like a led balloon.

He seemed like he had more to ask. He did query some things such as 'did Kurt know?', to which the answer was no. The rest of our chat flittered around the subject and we were doing pretty well at forgetting the whole thing until Levi himself called me. I felt like not answering, but I hadn't spoken to him in so long I was getting withdrawal symptoms. So, awkwardly, I excused myself and slid my finger across the screen to answer the call.

"Hi," I said, probably more timidly than usual.

"Did you take the chicken out of the freezer? It needs using." The roll of my eyes was greater than the path of an orbiting satellite. It didn't go unnoticed by Guthrie – of course it didn't.

"Yes mum."

"How have you been?"

"If you're asking if I have washed the pots yet, that's a no." There was a grunt and I couldn't tell if he was annoyed that I was failing in my domestic role or if he was tutting at my attitude.

"That's not what I asked," grunted Levi and a million things zipped through my head that I wasn't about to tell him and because I was so preoccupied considering those things I was hiding from him (like getting kicked out the café, Ema, my home falling to pieces and my bank account empty, the lecturer at Annie's university …), I wasn't able to reply for a few seconds. Guthrie was chewing his nails beside me waiting for the phone call to end and I decided to add that to my list of things bothering me. "Lena?"

"Ah, no, I'm fine, yeah. Um, possibly getting a cold. I've had a sore throat these past few days."

"Probably because of all your dirty habits," he sighed like the world was sat on his shoulders. I picked up on the tension in his voice and wondered for the first time why he had called me.

"How about on your end?"

"I've got a meeting with some entrepreneur tomorrow. He's running part of the course."

"Well, good luck."

"Don't need it, but thanks." He sighed again and I didn't need to ask him why. It was his worst nightmare, stuck at work all day everyday. He wouldn't be living it up in the hotel room, nor would he spend time drinking with co-workers in the evening. He'd literally spend every moment waiting to go home, itching to get back into his usual routine and away from work.

"Are you missing me?" I teased, hoping to lighten the conversation. There was a snort which came out as a crackle of noise across the line.

"Remember the other day when you tripped over your shoes and fell face first into the carpet?" He asked and I was immediately pouting, even though he couldn't see. I could imagine he knew anyway. "I miss that." I flared red as a lantern and subconsciously twisted away from Guthrie who was still sat beside me.

"Isn't that a bit sadistic?"

"And remember when you laughed so hard you cried at that video of a pug eating a butterfly?" I definitely could and it was still just as funny in my imagination. "I miss that."

"What's with you? You're being nice. It's weird."

"Just bored in this hotel room, I guess. I have one more thing, anyway. Then I'll hang up."

"Go on then."

"Excited?"  
"Eager to get rid of you," I huffed.

"Remember when you kissed my neck?" He said, voice just above a whisper so that I had to strain my ear against the speaker (and the throbbing of my heart) to hear. "I miss that." I put a hand over my face because it was impossible to hide the blush now and I didn't have the composure to cover it up. "I'll call again," Levi hummed, a trace of a bounce in his tone. "See you."

The line went dead.

I slipped the phone back into my bag, cheeks a roaring red and I wouldn't be able to look at Guthrie for a full minute, I was sure. Was he teasing me? The memory was still raw and alive in my head and he'd brought it back to the front of my brain with embarrassing clarity. If he had mentioned that back in our little apartment, I'd have shot back some sort of comment. Whispering something like that on the phone whilst I was in public? I couldn't get rid of the shiver down my spine. It wasn't even that big a thing, it was just a _first_. The first time we had flirted on the phone and it was new and interesting and I couldn't help but get all excited over it like a school girl.

_One step at a time, _I thought. _One step forwards at a time._

"Was that …?" Guthrie asked. I was fanning air at my face and trying to stop grinning like a fool.

"Yeah, Levi." I giggled to myself and took a deep, heaving breath. "Sorry."

"No, it's … fine."

"Well, anyway! Our food will be ready soon, let's head back to my house."

"Okay," said Guthrie. He sounded forlorn and I wondered if he was upset that I had hidden something like this from him … or maybe another hunch that I had was correct.

…

**KURT-**

"So … you're meeting with some private doctor today?" The suspicion in Luann's voice was prickling my spine with her glaring eyes, even though she was miles away on the other end of the phone. "A woman?"

"Is that what you're worried about?" I groaned, exasperated. There was a click of her tongue and a short drumming of her long fingernails on the receiver.

"And you think she can help you with your feinting? Don't you think you're anorexic?"

"Anorexic?"

"That thing with low blood … stuff … iron or, erh,"

"Anaemic?"

"Yeah that."

"Maybe," I lied. She didn't know about all the dreams, the flashbacks, the nightmares, the panic attacks in broad daylight – panic attacks like the one I had this morning. And I wasn't about to tell her. "I'm just going to talk with her, anyway. If she sounds like a crack, I can just leave it at that."

"You should go see a real doctor."

The frightening thing was, I was agreeing with her. After the episode I had whilst walking through the school corridor this morning at work … I was scared it would happen again. I was lucky that the staff toilets had been close by. Next time, it could happen when I was with my friends, in front of a class of kids – anywhere! What terrified me the most though, was being alone during these episodes. When I had feinted the morning that Luann was sleeping in my room, I had been calmed even a little bit by the knowledge that she wasn't far away. Right now, she, the person who was closest to me, was farthest. Away on some business trip, it meant that my apartment was unusually empty. It was scary.

"We'll see how this goes. Anyway, how's the training course going?" The response was simply a sigh. "Is it that bad?"

"Just boring. I'm calling you now because we have a short break before our afternoon session. I'm just sat in the hotel room. Bored. I'm guessing you're on dinner break?"

"Yeah, and I have planning time afterwards so I'm not too busy. Have you met anyone new on the course?"

"A few. It's mostly our company so I know them all."

"Already had dinner with them all?" I quipped. She snorted.

"All but one and believe me, I'm trying."

"Turn on your feminine charm."

"Tried that. I think he has a girlfriend. They weren't doing well until recently. He used to ignore his phone and was always irritated but yesterday I caught him texting her and _smiling_."

"What's wrong with that?"

"You don't know the guy. He always looks like he put a winning lottery ticket in a card for a relative he doesn't even like."

"A very specific simile."

"Simi-what?"

"Never mind. I won't support you breaking up a couple though. You've always seen quite a few guys on dates and as much as that both worries and pisses me off, I'm there for you. Not if you start breaking up couples, though."

"Survival of the fittest," she replied nonchalantly. She was growing more despicable by the day, reflected in her desperation for money. For hospital money. She seemed to think that the only way she could keep her mother in good care was to flirt her way into power and into a relationship with a man with a full wallet. Apparently, she had some sort of conscience that forbid her from constantly taking my money, but she could take it from other guy's. My student bank account was thankful for that.

"I'll get off now. I only have ten more minutes left of my dinner. Call me again if you need anything."

"Pff. What would I need from you?"

"You're right. What would you need? Silly me." I hung up and maybe I was still on edge from this morning because that wasn't like me. It was a bit too sharp of a comment and I hadn't even realised I was feeling irritated until I hung up with a grunt. Honestly, this stress was taking its toll.

This morning was the last straw.

On my way to the staff room, I had suddenly felt a sharp pain in my side, a stabbing pain. It began as a small burn and accelerated into a white-hot searing flame pounding me. I staggered down the corridor, which was thankfully empty, pushing open the door to the toilets with the arm that wasn't clutching my side in pain. _Appendicitus? _I wondered. God, it hurt. It was then that I felt it, the dizziness, the feeling of me separating again from reality. I locked the door to a cubicle and desperately tried to regain my senses. I was fading so far away. Things were blurring, I couldn't stand up because my legs wouldn't stay under me. I hadn't realised an attack was coming until I found myself choking on air, unable to breathe in the small space. My breaths were short, far too short. I wasn't getting enough oxygen. _Please, nobody come in._ I wanted to phone someone desperately and my fingers even lingered on the handset in my pocket. _A heart attack? Was this a heart attack? _But the darkness in the corners of my vision stole what remained of my consciousness and the cold floor sent an unwelcome shiver along my skin.

_I'm going to die. I'm really going to die. The warmth of my blood only provided devastating contrast from the cold floor. I gagged, choked, coughed, and thankfully dragged in another breath of air. I was going to die. There was a knife in my ribs and I was bleeding to death. I tried to shout, I really tried. I spluttered syllables through the pain because my life really did depend on it. Murky footsteps in my vision and hearing, beside me, then walking away. My killer. And in that moment, I knew that it was also Luann's killer - I was ignited with fury, pulling myself off the floor to look up through a fading vision to see the bastard._

"_F-ff... fuck … y... ou." I grunted. Whoever it was didn't turn around, and I no longer had the strength to think._

I woke up on the toilet floor. I cried into shaking hands, for too many reasons to place one cause. I was fucked up, I was scared, I was alone. And I didn't even have the courage to pull myself up from the ground, nor the courage to die.

…

"You're not alone," the woman named Hanji Zoe replied after I had explained to her my situation. It was odd; the pressure of keeping all this to myself for so long had released everything like opening the flood gates. I had told her, a stranger, the full story after she had given one or two probing questions. It had just spilled out of me. "The reason I'm researching all this is for my friend who I think suffers in the same way as you. We caught on when he was babbling nonsense and feinting – two things that were very much unlike him. I can't explain to you how odd it is … you'd know if you met him. But he was in such a bad way, I mean, he _is_ in such a bad way …"

"Then what are you saying this is?" I asked, intrigued. There was someone else. There was somebody else!

"The way he explained it to me is that it appears to be a past life, a sort of reincarnation. He re-lives this other world in dreams, nightmares, flashback sort of things. It causes a lot of stress on him."

"Then does he … remember the dreams?"

"My cousin remembers everything detail for detail. Levi – uh, my friend – he seems a bit less sure. Things are hazy."

"I don't remember much at all. When I come round, everything disappears."

"Hmm, is that so?" She murmured. "Well, by any chance, do you feel like you recognise me?" I frowned and concentrated hard, but I had no recollection of her face.

"No, I don't think so."

"Hmm." She said again and slipped back into her own imaginations. My impression of her so far was friendly, but a bit mad. Not dangerously mad – no, I was happy to continue seeing her if she felt like she had something to offer in helping me – but a kind of eccentric personality. At the least, what she had given me so far was useful. There were at least two other people she had mentioned with these visions, and at least one of those two was suffering like I was. I wanted to meet him, but Hanji insisted to stay away for now. She said that she wanted to hear the stories from two unrelated people. If it was a psychological disorder, the words of one could change the thoughts of another. If our stories matched up without meeting, that would provide solid evidence.

Another reality?

Wow. I didn't really believe in it but at the same time, I was fascinated by the thought. It linked a lot of the events in my life together so that they made sense. One thing was for sure – I'd be seeing Hanji Zoe again.

…

**LUANN-**

A company dinner. Nine pm meeting in the hotel restaurant. I had outdone myself this time: black, slick dress hugging my hips tightly, a lace pattern running down both sleeves and across the neck, revealing a bit of flesh in a less obvious manner. Quite discrete, but sexy. I was fishing for a big shark tonight. Natural make-up, a bit of gold hanging at my chest and a slither of colour on my eyes.

I briefly curled my lip; when had I gotten to this point? But with a flash of powder across my cheeks, I forgot. Because when you got as low as I was, you'd do anything to crawl your way back up. I'd flirt with a few men I wasn't really interest in if they had on an expensive suit. It was like an arranged marriage, but I was arranging it myself. Instead of my parents selecting a good catch – solid future, good wealth, good looks – I was doing it. What was wrong with that? Was I feeling guilty because I didn't have any feelings for these guys? Or was it because I was dating so many men so briefly? I didn't care if other women called me a slag. There was something else churning in my gut on nights like this, but he was far away and I had resigned myself not to care anyway.

That's right. I had decided this. I wasn't going back now.

I slipped into the seat across from Levi Ackerman, prime position for attention. He looked great, as usual. Dark eyes, dark hair, a sort of couldn't-care-less expression and an aura of calmness in every situation. Stoic. Strong. Quite short, but the expensive watch on his wrist made up for that. Every twitch of his eyebrows signalled that he would rather be anywhere else. One twitch at the manager's entrance, one at the menu, and one when I sat opposite him. He would be a hard catch, but tonight I was changing tactics. I wasn't that cheap, sexy woman any more. I was going to chat; to charm; to seduce.

Because my mother was ill and the doctors wanted to give up on her, that was why. You don't get anywhere in this world without money.

…

I got him drunk. He seemed up for it any way. He opened up to me after a few minutes of basic chit-chat. He wasn't about to sit and ignore me for two hours – a good sign. He avoided speaking about himself, but I filled in the gaps any way. I kept offering to fill his glass, and he started off giving a shrug, then nodded, and by the end of the dinner he was tipping his glass to me for a refill. I kept steady on my own drink. He became more friendly as the night went on and I decided my change of tactics had been a good one. He liked straight people – people without hidden intentions, people who didn't small talk. If I could pretend to be that way, he would open up. We even got talking about something I was interest in knowing.

"You said you don't have any family. Have you got anyone waiting for you at home?"

"Yeah, I do." He replied and I swear he swallowed a smirk.

"A girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Do you live together then?"

"She stays at my apartment sometimes."

"How long have you two been together?"

"Pfft …" He swirled his glass and rested his chin on one hand. "Kinda years."

"Really?!" This was honestly a shock. No wonder my advances had been given the cold shoulder.

"Welll," he slurred. It was about time! He'd made his way through so many bottles, I wondered if he'd ever get drunk. "I knew her before I knew her. A looong time ago."

"Oh, so you have known her a while?"

"Mmm," he nodded. He seemed to lose focus for a second. "She doesn't know, though."

"Hey, you two!" Someone called from further down the table. I hadn't noticed, but most of the people had left by now and headed to the bar. The manager and a few others were left and had already stood to leave as they called. "We're going to the bar. Are you coming?"

"What do you think, Levi?" I asked. Levi thought about it and scowled into his drink. With a sigh, he downed the remaining liquid in his glass.

"I'm going to my room." He stood up, the chair knocking from under him as he staggered to stand straight. Oops, he was far gone. Too far. I hadn't wanted this.

"Hey, hey, hey." I quickly moved to his side of the table and took him by the arm to steady him. "Shall I walk you up?"

"'mm fine."

"I'll walk you to your room. You might not get there in this state."

"Mm ... okay." He caved, letting me slide an arm around him, scoot in close enough to smell which body spray he had used and allow him to place one drunken hand on my waist.

The countdown began.

**AN-**

**ITS HEEEERREEEEEE, NEW CHAPPPTEEERRR**

**Enjoy and review! Dun dun duuh, the drama mounts.**


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